With Christmas upon us next weekend there will be no organised outings. There is also no land training organised for the following week or indeed, outings on the 31st/1st. Word has it however, that an impromptu outing might be on the cards for both Christmas and New Years eves and possibly New Years Day too. The equipment is there so please feel free to use it over the Christmas period, just be safe and sensible please.

Training will recommence next year on Tuesday 3rd with an erg technique session and circuits as usual on Thursday 5th. The first official outings will commence on the 7th and if you've signed up for the HoRR I'll see you at 8.50 on Saturday morning.

Safety tip of the week - if in doubt, don't go out.

Thanks to everyone for all their hard work this year and here's to more of the same in 2006. I'm off for much of Christmas week but will be dropping in regularly to check this email address should anyone need to get hold of me.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to one and all and if you have been, make sure it's nowhere near a Quintin VIII.

Neil.

[By the way, it turns out that the arse below may well belong to our very own ex-Ben Green. Can it be true? - ed.]

Spot The Bum, 19/12

We heard on the grapevine that DUBC has produced a naked calendar for 2006. We also heard that it involved some rather well put together rowing-type girls so (purely in the interests of anatomical enlightenment) off we went to take a look. It was like getting a slap in the face - but could it be true?

The shot on the left is the face. Oh no, hang on. It might be the one on the right? Blast. Now I really am confused!

Elsewhere our very own Mr. Cox was spotted enjoying evening drinks at the recent South of England Coxes Conference. May his Ping Pong Balls never be cracked.

Old Man Touches Small Buoy, 14/12

A belated safety note below followed by an all-new caption competition...

Dear All, 

Please find attached pictures of the two new navigation buoys in situ. I have
also attached a picture that shows the size and lightness of the buoys.

If any of you have any questions or suggestions, please do not hesitate to ask, 

Alexander Brown 
River Project Officer 
Port of London Authority 
Bakers' Hall 
7 Harp Lane 
EC3R 6LB

Now for the latest, greatest caption comp. Send your entries to the usual place...

Captain's Log, 12/12

A coached VIII and a 1x out Saturday with second outings for the Balders farewell invitation IV+. More coaching for the VIII on Sunday with more second outings in sculling boats and the Chairman's invitation VI- putting in yet another showing. That's three in a row for them, some sort of record surely? Gorgeous water and weather for second outings this weekend; good things, it seems, really do come to those who wait (hint).

This Week:

For the uninitiated this is a local "race" for local VIIIs, from the Pink House back to Quintin flag pole. We will have the Bull back by then so could potentially enter two VIIIs or even a mixed boat with BBLRC. I shall assume that if you want a seat in this illustrious event then you will turn up for outings on Saturday, when we will sort out the crews and boating times. If you know that you can't make Saturday but would still like to race then please email me before the weekend and I'll consider your entreaty but Saturday attendees will get precedence. For the record, everyone always cheats and Cygnet usually gets on the podium, unless they cheat a bit too much but Marj has promised to behave this year.

As it's the last weekend before Christmas the captaincy of both clubs thought that it would be rather splendid for everyone to hang around after the race for some beer and socializing. The proposal is that everybody brings some nibbles; roast potatoes, sausage rolls, cake, chips and dips etc.... You know it make sense.

Next Week

Training as usual up to Christmas, with a surprise festive erg on Tuesday rather than those horrid pyramids. There will be a circuit session on Thursday, which will be short and sweet so we can go out for dinner afterwards. Please let me know if you want to come for dinner after circuits next Thursday (22nd) so I can book somewhere. Either email me or let me know at circuits this week.

If you have been, don't start slacking off yet.

Neil.

Finking Time, 11/12

Two lovely mornings at the boathouse with cold clear days and lovely flat water saw the blog out for a quiet scull on Sunday afternoon. As he was overtaken by a couple of girls from UL and an old man from TSS he got to thinking. Here is the result...

BIRC Cygnet Results Analysis

Oh dear!

The Perfect Specimen, 08/12

You decide!

Baghdad Or Bust, 06/12

From our war...erm...peace correspondent...

You know things are getting serious when the government decides to send in 
the "big guns" to sort out the trouble spots of the world.  To that end I 
shall be departing, before Christmas, to take up post as an "Advisor" in a 
country much warmer and sandier than Barnes and beginning with the letter I. 
I'm up north at the moment for a week's pre-deployment training, so don't 
have access to any Cygnet related e-mail addresses other than the two of 
yours. So...

Whilst the length of my deployment is not certain, it's definately longer 
than one month, but less than four.  So, as well as probably not being 
around for the eights head, I would like to buy a Giraffe or two after 
outings on Saturday by way of some informal farewell drinks.  I may even lay 
on some roast potatoes (but probably not of the Aunt Bessies variety).  I 
then plan to meet a few non-rowers in the Dove down by Hammersmith at about 
1830hrs that evening.  Please feel free to join me on an improptu 
Waddle...or to come to the Dove in the evening.

I'd be grateful if you would pass on my invite for an informal drink to 
whoever seems worthy...

...Schmick!

For those of you who weren't in the Scouts and didn't have Action Man the blog is pleased to be able to offer a short military glossary:

Captain's Log, 05/12

Another quiet weekend on the rowing front with just a 4+ and the tub out on Saturday and a 4- on Sunday. However, rather a noisy weekend on the social front with yet another successful Waddle and Ball on Saturday (and quite a lot of Sunday morning!). It appears that everyone enjoyed themselves and we wait with baited breath for all the juicy gossip and embarrassing photos to appear on the club blogs. Already some changes are required to the Top Trumps it seems! Many thanks to Poppy for all her hard work on yet another successful BBLRC Ball.

This week:

I've been asked about the date for the Christmas Puddings but we're still awaiting confirmation. I'll let you know as soon as I do but my money is on the weekend before Christmas.

The Treasurer has asked me to remind you that we do still have a few club all-in-ones left in stock which are cheaper than available via the website. Indeed he even hinted that a small discount might be appropriate to make sure that they are all finally sold. Don't all rush at once.

By the time you read this the Richard du Parcq should be restored to the boathouse but the Alan Cox and bow half of the John Bull will be away for minor repairs.

As mentioned last week, George will be working in and around the boathouse until Wednesday. He's supposed to be there, don't call the police! [And whatever you do don't grass him up to Rod Jane & Freddy - ed.]

Safety tip of the week - three official ones this week.

1) Work has started rebuilding the crumbling lower part of the Putney Town steps. The much needed repairs will occur in two phases, one half at a time, to enable PTRC to continue boating from the steps. The temporary works have shuttering along the sides of the steps and Heras fencing along the top of the closed section of steps. They will also run a rope down the steps to a post at the bottom to mark the extent of the works. The post will have a marker buoy attached. The work which started on Wednesday should be completed within a week. It is always possible that bad weather and tides could stretch it out longer, but even so it's still not expected to last longer than a fortnight. It's unlikely that the work will cause a hazard to navigation but crews in the area should still be cautious at high tide.

2) Please familarise youselves with the contents of the PLA's Notice to Mariner's no U14. After 12th December the PLA are puttting down a couple of new buoys near Barn Elms to try to aid traffic flow (well, lets face it - it is quite difficult to paint white lines on the river). No doubt some of you will be getting snotty about yet more things to run into before they're even in place, but I should point out that this is an experiment being carried out as a result of the Salvage Association Report and has the full support or the TRRC representitives on the Consultation group. Comments will apparently be invited after 6 months, when people have had a chance to see how / whether they work.

3) The Yellow Cage Thing has been on sabbatical at Richmond for the draw off recently, but is returning to the main Tideway on 4th December for a Thames21 clean up at Barnes. Three of the strange yellow contraptions will be situated upstream of Chiswick Pier on the Surrey side. Please keep well clear (which you should be anyway if you're following the navigation rules).

If you have been, it was all Mike and Dave's idea.

Neil.

Final Waddle Timetable, 01/12

To make our transition from pub to bus to Mortlake simpler the final Hammersmith venue has been changed to the Laurie Arms, 238 Shepherds Bush Road. Thanks to Pretty-Boy for this last-minute information. Could he be Mini-Geordie?

Ask Uncle Mike and Auntie Theresa, 29/11

From a concerned BB Lady...

Dear Uncle Mike & Auntie Theresa,

I moved in with a Cygnet on Saturday. On Sunday morning, as I helpfully unpacked his washbag, ready to put his tooth brush, shower gel, fluffy flannel etc on the appropriate bathroom shelf I discovered none of the above, simply a 500ml bottle of baby oil and a can of WD 40. Is this what you generally prescribe to make Cygnets go faster?

Uncle Mike replies...

Dear Concerned BB Lady,

Do not be concerned, your Cygnet is simply storing his bicycle repair kit in his washbag. Cygnet men have long maintained a low environmental footprint by avoiding harmful washing products and laundry powders. For example our very own Goldaman has been using the "hang your one-piece on a hook and it cleans itself" method very successfully for many years, and I am pretty sure that Dr. French David hasn't washed his hair this century. On the plus side, at least you haven't moved in with either of them!

Auntie Theresa replies...

Dear Concerned BB Lady,

Do not be concerned. As they age Cygnet men become more and more incapable of looking after themselves, which is why God invented Barnes Bridge Ladies. Henceforth you will have to purchase all your Cygnet's toiletry needs (you may have to buy his clothes too). If looked after, however, he will reward you with years of faithful service and many humourous, rowing-related stories.

Captain's Log, 28/11

Only one way to start the log this week, with the news of Julian's awesome 27th place in the Scullers Head on Saturday, taking the S4 pennant in the process. Our congratulations to him for a truly superb result. Modest as ever, Julian claims to not have had a very good row - I hate to think how fast he goes when he does! Otherwise only one of our 7 other entries didn't fancy the cold conditions and stayed in bed (I won't say who, as he'll only edit it out when it he put's it up on the blog). The other 6 Cygnets all completed the course with a special mention for Marj who, we believe, was the first female Cygnet to race for the club, certainly in a single scull anyway. Full results here.

Elsewhere, because of the river being closed for the race (and doubtless the cold, windy conditions) just a pair went out early on Saturday morning. Sunday saw a coached novice VIII and a pair out plus the welcome return of The Chairman's Invitation Coxless Four.

The annual boathouse quiz saw a good turnout on Sunday afternoon with (I think) seven teams of 4 scrapping it out for the coveted red, furry thong first prize. The others never stood a chance as "3 Non-Blondes" stormed to victory with a brilliantly played joker in the final (entertainment) round. Many thanks to Tammy for another great quiz, Poppy for the lovely grub and to all the boys who left their pints to wash it all up afterwards.

This week:

Yes, it's time once again for The Waddle. Details are on the blog but all you really need to know is The Black Lion at 15.00, in a DJ, with some beer money. Strict Waddle etiquette will be observed with a whip system and rigid timetable in place. After The Waddle there's some sort of Ball type thingy at Dukes Meadows Golf Club which we could pop along to. Apparently there will be lots of pretty girls in dresses. Or is that girls in pretty dresses? Only one way to find out!

I am away on Saturday morning (works do in St Albans) but hope to be back in time for second outings. Either way, Marj and Stuart are in charge again and yes that does say 8.50. It will also be 9.20 on Sundays too as timekeeping is, frankly, slack at the moment. Compared to most other clubs our outing times are very civilised, generous even, and have been cunningly chosen to coincide with the trains. We will also be getting regular coaching from now on and part of that will include basic stuff like time keeping. We don't make you get up at 6 am so please be at the club promptly or you won't be going out on the water.

Santa Claus at the Boathouse? No it's just my father, George, who will be working in and around the boathouse on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday next week doing all the odd jobs that no-one else has had time to do. No sugar in his, please.

Safety tip of the week - overtaking.

It is up to the overtaking crew to make the manoeuvre safely and responsibly and if that means interrupting a piece then so be it. Never, ever try to overtake a crew that is already overtaking another crew (i.e. don't get three abreast) and avoid overtaking near bridges, crossing points and other "pinch" spots. Take a good look out before overtaking, pass quickly without interrupting the other boat and pull back in once past. Do not undertake. When working the slacks, if a crew is too far out from the bank, politely ask them to move in a little before going around them.

If you're being overtaken you should keep a reasonable distance into the bank (against the tide) or to the right of the fairway (with the tide) and hold your course without bulking the overtaking crew. You are not obliged to slow down although it can be polite to do so.

Once again, if you have any problems with other crews overtaking, please do not get into an argument. Be polite, take their ID number and report back to the captaincy.

If you have been, don't play your joker on a low scoring round.

Neil.

Weekend Bits, 26/11

Bits and bobs of weekend news.

Firstly the good news that the latest C2 newsletter is out at http://www.concept2.co.uk/email/newsletter.htm. Required reading!

Secondly we have been informed of a new BBLRC money-making venture (when ARE they going to start maintaining links with their old members?). This one is a site selling rowing boat lights for night outings. Click the icon below to take a look. There's also a link on our Links page.

Lastly well done to all our intrepid scullers who braved pretty cold conditions and competed in today's Scullers Head. No results are up yet but watch this space.

STOP PRESS: provisional Scullers Head results are now available and (ahem) we seem to have a win!

Lastly all the blog's roving reporters were stuck in their sick-beds over the weekend so any stringers out there who'd like to report on the scullers head, Steve and Helen's drinks, the SGM or the quiz will receive the usual commission, left in the usual place. Can it be true that our subs have now broken the £200 barrier (for non-Civil Servants (or should that be non Civil-Servants?))? What WOULD Wally say?

Locked Away, 23/11

All users of our latest, tastiest single scull should take heed of the note below from Neil...

Further to Sam's vandalism email, I have taken the precaution of padlocking our newest single "Cygnet Friends Reunited" to the rack. The key is pinned to the notice board in the changing room.

Also a final note from Poppy regarding Saturday 3rd December's Snow Ball. Close of play today is the deadline for any more tickets.

Poppy kindly emailed a list of attendees round. We believe she may have obtained a beta copy of Excel 2006. Excel 2006 features massively enhanced data sorting capabilities. Not only can you sort numerically and alphabetically, but now you can sort by "sexiness", "intelligence", "fitness" and "rowing ability". We include the first part of Poppy's list to demonstrate...

Waddle details can be found here.

Vandalism Warning, 22/11

An email from Sam to Captain Neil yesterday evening. Please take a look and take note:

> From: Sam Gourevitch
> Date: November 21, 2005 18:31:38 GMT
> Subject: Vandalism to boats
>
> Dear All,
>
> Late Friday or very early Saturday, vandals threw a coxed 4 and the  
> stern of an 8 into the river. We put them on the trailer on  
> Thursday afternoon in readiness for J15s racing in Cambridge last w/ 
> kend, and they were still there Friday 5:00 PM. Dave Gledhill tells  
> me that Avon, who boated from us for the 4s head, left their boat  
> on a trailer overnight Saturday presumably for the Vets head on the  
> Sunday. This too was thrown in the river. One of the large  
> aluminium dustbins from behind Emanuel has gone missing. We rent  
> these from the council and are liable for their replacement.
>
> Please be aware that vandals seem to be targeting our boathouses.  
> Damaging boats on trailers is unprecendented in my 20+ years at  
> Dukes Meadows and hopefully we won't get any more 'visits'.
>
> I will contacting the police to be sure that we get a regular  
> visits during the night. Beware if you're doing some after-hours  
> training in the bar.
>
> Regards,
>
> Sam Gourevitch

Well, you can tell that the Four's Head is over, just a novice 4+ out on Saturday, with a coach. Outings on Sunday were sensibly cancelled on safety grounds since you couldn't see more than a few yards in the fog. A disappointingly/predictably small turnout for the 2k tests but thanks to the guys that did do it in support of those of us who went up to the BIRC. Personally I didn't cover myself in glory, not even getting a PB, making the classic mistake of letting the adrenalin carry me away in the first half. Hey-ho, you live and learn. Well done to Mike and Noel who also competed and many thanks to Theresa, Marj and Stuart who turned up to cheer us on. Our individual race analysis are on the blog [see below - ed.] with full results here.

This week:

Saturday 26th

Because of the Scullers Head on Saturday the river is closed between 10am and 1 pm. Crews must be off the river by 10am so this will require an 8:30am start on Saturday for anyone wanting to do outings. It may be better this week to pre-arrange crews in order to get out promptly. Just drop me a mail once you have a crew together so I can allocate boats.

Sunday 27th

Please hang around for the SGM at 11:30 as I'm sure that you'd like to know what next years subs will be.

The annual boathouse quiz will take place at 1.30pm starting with lunch. £5 a head. If you haven't got a crew [team - ed.] together yet, time is running out. Crews [teams - ed.] of four or less please and could crews [teams - ed.] please let Poppy know so that she has an ideas of numbers for lunch (poppy [dot] ahern [at] cancer [ dot] org [dot] uk).

Saturday 3rd December

It's only a couple of weeks away and if you want to go to the Snow Ball and haven't booked your ticket, please let Poppy know by Wednesday or you'll be staying at home on you own whilst 70 of your mates have a good time without you. Contact Poppy (email above). Naturally a full Waddle will precede the Ball and details can be found on the blog [scroll down to the 16/11 - ed].

Safety hint of the week.

Winter is firmly upon us as I'm sure that you're all aware and the cold conditions have an impact for us on the water. Please make sure that you've got on extra layers for outings, a hat is more than sensible and leggings are almost essential. Indeed if it's really cold you'll not be allowed on the water without leggings. Remember you can always take a layer off if you get hot but if you're under- kitted there's not much you can do if you do get cold and wet. It only takes a big wash or an equipment failure at Putney and you might have to make it all the way back home wet and/or sitting the boat getting very, very cold in the process. Hypothermia is a genuine concern over the winter so please be prepared - "too much rather than too cold". Also make sure that you have enough dry kit to change into after outings and have a warm showers and a hot drink too. Plenty of warm kit is available here but if you want it in time for Christmas you need to be ordering very soon especially the Cygnet specific stuff.

If you have been, then Birmingham is a long way to go to do it.

Neil.

Monday Monday, 21/11

Some bits and bobs for a Monday morning...

Firstly the latest C2 newsletter is out and can be found here.

Secondly we have it on good authority that Google has just launched a web-based RSS news reader. Amongst other things it'll let you take advantage of that little orange button over there on the top left of the page. You'll need a Google account to use it and all the details can be found at www.google.com/reader. Recommended.

Thirdly why not pain-along-a-Neil-a-Mike-and-a-Noel in the comfort of your own home or office - the race replays are rather fun. Try it with some soothing music in the background. Not too bad is it?

Pain-along-a-Neil Pain-along-a-Mike Pain-along-a-Noel

Flirty Incompetence, 16/11

We at the blog are chuckling quietly to ourselves as we enjoy a very illuminating book called Watching the English by Kate Fox. One paragraph in the Sex chapter particularly caught our eye:

...I found that the level of flirtatious behaviour among members of amateur English sports teams or hobby-clubs tends to be inversely related to the standards achieved by participants and their enthusiasm for the activity. With some exceptions, one tends to find a lot of flirting among incompetent tennis players, unfit hill-walkers, cack-handed painters and tangle-footed dancers...

Uncoordinated rowers?

Early B.B.L.R.C.W.A.D.D.L.E, 16/11

Xmas Waddle details are slowly emerging, initial plans are outlined below but watch this space for updates. We shall, without the aid of a safety net, be attempting the impossible. B.B.L.R.C. in pub names. Times and locations will be as follows: [Details removed. See 01/12 above - ed.]

This Waddle is brought to you by Israel-Collier Associates Inc. Synchronise those watches...

Captain's Log, 14/11

Despite the best efforts of The Fickle Hand of Fate to stick a spanner in the works over the last month, five Cygnet crews did finally manage to take to the water on Saturday and complete the grueling 4.25 miles of the Fours Head in near perfect racing conditions. True to form, we didn't come last, with full results and photos to be found at here. As we all know however, the real test of the Fours Head is in the bar afterwards where the only damaged Pride was of the brown liquid variety - whole firkin and a polypin's worth of damage to be precise. Thirsty beasts those giraffes.

A slightly delicate coxed four did manage to make it afloat on Sunday morning but on balance [sic.] perhaps a lie-in might have been more beneficial.

Cygnet were represented by just one crew in the much more relaxed and convivial Vets Fours Head on Sunday They returned in good spirits and were last seen reliving the glory, stroke by stroke, in the company of a yet another thirsty giraffe.

THIS WEEK

Oh yes, that does say 2k erg test. Just because Mike and I are the only ones to have entered the BIRC it doesn't mean that the rest of you can get off that lightly. I will be away all weekend so outings will be left in the capable hands of Marj and Stuart with Dave French running the erg tests. Before or after outings it doesn't matter just post a score please.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

With the fours head out of the way it's time to re-group and refocus and there is all to play for. I'm looking at a few other small boat heads between now and Christmas but I'd like to start experimenting with HoRR crews in the new year. We are without three very strong and experienced oarsmen from last year's first eight so need to get crews training together as early as possible. We will be aiming to to have a first and a second eight (Rather than one senior and one novice eight as rumoured) and places in both boats will be dependent on fitness, commitment to training, erg scores and input from coxes and coaches. Like I say, all seats are up for grabs so there's all to play for, starting with a little 2k test on Sunday. Beautiful.

COMING UP

Sunday 27th November. There will be a very brief SGM at 11.30 after outings to vote in the new subs for next year then I know that you'll all be hanging around for the 2nd annual joint club quiz starting with lunch at 1.30. Start putting your quiz crews (of four) together.

Saturday 3rd December. The BBLRC Snow Ball preceded by a B.B.L.R.C. waddle, which is already at the very advanced planning stage. Please let Poppy know if you'd like to go to the ball (don't tell her if you'd rather just do the waddle). Snow Ball details available on both club's websites.

If you have been, let's hope you weren't wearing green and gold.

Neil.

Four, 14/11

A very exciting weekend. Our beer and wine correspondent reports...

I thought you might be interested to discover how much alcohol was
consumed in our bar on Saturday (approximate values):

120 pints of Fullers London Pride (that would be 20 Giraffes)
80  bottles of San Miguel
50  bottles of Leffe
45  bottles of Smirnoff Ice
10  pints of Fullers Chiswick
6   bottles of White Wine
1   bottle of Vodka
1   bottle of Killerpitsch
1   bottle of Gin
A few glasses of that repulsive Latvian rubbish donated to the bar by Wyatt

...how impressive - we feel sure future results will fully reflect all this training. Also our fashion correspondent [with own shrug - ed.] reports on some humourous penalties awarded by the race umpires during the race...

38  CURLEW I                   Disqualified Foul 
62  UNIV OF LONDON BC I    10s Traffic violation 
102 RGS WORCESTER II        5s Impeding 
117 LONDON RC VIII         10s Abusive language 
206 MOLESEY BC VII         10s Obstruction 
214 CAMBRIDGE UNIV VI      10s Obscenity 
236 READING UNIV II        10s Abusive language 
250 NEPHTHYS IV            10s Baulking at start 
276 NOTT'M & UNION IV          Disqualified dangerous behaviour marshalling
325 VESTA IX               10s Two instances of obstruction
329 UNIV OF LONDON WBC III  5s Obstruction
351 LATYMER UPPER V        10s Baulking at Mile post 
413 CURLEW IV               5s Traffic violation 
465 OSIRIS III             10s Baulking

...isn't baulking what you do with the white ball when playing safe in a frame of snooker, and what exactly is a traffic violation? Were we on a red route?

Body's Aching All The Time, 11/11

No sooner do we advertise rec.sport.rowing than the good people who use the newsgroup set it ablaze with a hard-core discussion of Jaffa Cakes. We particularly like the scientific definitions of a cake and a biscuit.

Also this is rather "fun" and perhaps explains Wyatt Minor's obsession with (for example) Fat Bottommmed Girls? You might like to take a look at Row2k's worst ergo music page too.

Come On Keep Up, 10/11

First a quick update from our North of England correspondent in Durham. We have it on good authority that Simon "" French is going a bit faster in his single these days and actually won the novice 1x category in the recent Tees Long Distance Sculls. Hardly of interest to us (I hear you cry) however I would argue that (a) he has paid his sub until the end of the year so is still technically a Cygnet, and (b) he raced in our Lycra as his picture on this site will testify. Interestingly it's image 20d_13142 [although we prefer 20d_13139 on the right, what is he up to? - ed.].

He will be retiring the lycra in tribute!

On a completely different note just the usual reminder that to keep completely up-to-date on all the latest rowing news, gossip, humour and discussions you should regularly check New Rowing Information, The Tideway Slug and Rec.Sport.Rowing. Links for all 3 are always available over to the left under Friends.

Working's for losers.

Captain's Log, 08/11

This weekend started badly. We almost had the whole fleet back and ready for the 4s Head only for a (surely blind?) white van man to drive into one of the (huge white) boats (complete with big piece of red tape) whilst being trailered back from the boat builders. Aaaaaargh! The poor old Richard Du Parcq is once again back at the boat builders but won't be ready for the Head. However the quad crew now have a nice shiney Sims to race in courtesy of Thames Tradesmen.

Otherwise a successful and busy weekend with the 4s head crews, accompanied by coaches, out on the river and in the tank. Looking forward to some good racing next weekend and seeing 5 Cygnet crews on the river.

THIS WEEK:

Saturday - HoR 4s

There won't be any organised outings on Saturday because of the 4s Head but if you're not racing (is there anyone left?) please come down anyway. It's quite a sight and there is always something to do, your help and support would be much appreciated. Also be aware that there will be a lot of visiting crews boating from us and many people using the boathouse. Please make sure that your personal belongings, particularly your valuables, are safely out of the way.

APPEAL: Our own Nick Wylie is the Chief Marshall for the 4s Head and is still short of launch drivers. If anyone can help out with marshaling please contact nickjwylie [at] aol [dot] com as soon as possible. Full instruction and refreshments are provided for all volunteers.

There will, of course, be the usual post-race party at the boathouse and with two giraffes now fully operational in the bar and a firkin of Pride who knows what could happen?

Sunday - Vets 4s Head

9.30 outings as usual. Please be prompt as we have to be off the water and cleared away before the Vets 4s head. We have one crew entered for this so if you can hang around and support that would be great.

Time keeping.

Speaking of being prompt, outing times are on the water times. Please make an effort to be at the boathouse before 9.00 (Sat) or 9.30 (Sun) so that you can get blades and boats sorted out. Plenty of time for tea and conversation after or between outings.

More outings.

Once the 4s Head is over I'd like to encourage people to get out for second outings. We will mostly go out in eights and fours but would like to encourage second outings in smaller boats or sculling boats before the headlong rush to the bar. This is a rowing club after all.

House keeping.

It does seem that people are making a bit more of an effort on the keeping the kitchen clean front, many thanks and keep it up.

Circuits.

If you're a regular at circuits and haven't cooked already please volunteer and put your name on the list in the kitchen. It's doesn't have to be gourmet and yes I know that there's only been one BB lady cook so far but dinner can't happen if no-one cooks it!

If you have been, avoid the A316.

Neil.

New Concepts Too, 06/11

The latest Concept 2 newsletter can be found here.

Higher Faster Longer, 04/11

Nuff said...

Flowering Poppy, 04/11

We have it on good authority that BBLRC's own Soc. Sec. won a highly prestigious marketing award in London's West End last night. A huge Cygnet shout goes out to her [we are currently experimenting with keeping it real - ed.]. Lots more information can be found at the end of this link and the following from Pretty-Boy Naylor who is currently trying not to puff out his chest (too much)...

Last night Poppy won a really big National Marketing Award at posh-doo
on Park Lane. The award was for 'Best use of e-mail' and it was against all the
huge advertising and marketing agencies, so it was good for little old
Cancer Research to win.

Freedom To Blog, 04/11

Well the new webmaster of the BBLRC website is making himself very busy at the moment. Two updates in one week is almost unheard of and he is already making communicating points through the medium of [Dr. Evil voice on] "humour" [Dr. Evil voice off] and without the use of a safety net.

Check out their diary as soon as possible as there's some quite good stuff on it at the moment which may be coming off soon due to their slightly dictatorial management style (resistance IS useless).

You can go quickly to the BBLRC website whenever you like by clicking the BBLRC link over on the left under Friends (we use Friends in its most ironic sense here). To be honest they could use the hits.

Giraffe II The Reckoning, 03/11

We at the blog have been shopping on your behalf. Having been trusted with £40 of the bar stewards rent mone...erm...turnover we have been instructed to order a 2nd giraffe for the bar.

It arrived at blog-central earlier today but there seems to have been some kind of mix up with the order. Instead of delivering an exact duplicate of the one currently in our bar those dopey people at www.drinkstuff.com seem to have sent a BIGGER one, with FLASHING LIGHTS and a REFRIGERATION feature.

Oh dear.

Past Blast, 03/11

Some people have suggested that an occasional blast-from-the-past might be a good idea (we have 4-years worth of great stuff accumulating on the website now).

So how about a remembrance of sculling camps been and gone. Alan started them up, Chris carried the torch magnificently and Stu is now learning the ropes to enthuse a whole new generation of Cygnet & BBLRC, erm, oarspeople.

The pictures below will take you to back in time to 2002, 2003 and 2004. Enjoy...

Food has always been a major feature at the sculling camp and there are some great barbecue and picnic shots in the 3rd link above. It looks almost good enough to eat!

You Never Leave, 03/11

Oh the irony, all Ben and Simon did whilst at Cygnet was jabber on about Durham, Durham, Durham. Now Simon's back there he finds himself unwittingly doing Cygnet's ergo test. We'll keep the RGB warm for you mate...

Mike,
 
Saw the banter on the blog; we also do this in the big D (albeit capped at 20),
latest is 8345m. I think that puts Mr French (jr.) in 2nd place.... 
 
Best wishes and lots of love 
 
Frenchie

I for one do not miss those sloppy, wet, Saturday morning kisses!

While we're on the subject of fun-and-games in the RGB here's a photo-finish shot of the boys last years Nat. Champs. final from last summer. I just came across it this morning. :-)

Quiz Tastic, 02/11

From our esteemed Soc. Sec...

Advance notice of the annual BBLRC quiz - Sunday 27th Nov, 1pm at the boathouse. (Q1) Will you be there?

It doesn't matter whether you know (Q2) the correct name for a baby shark or not. Turn up, pit your wits against Barnes Bridge and Cygnet's finest minds (relatively speaking), and get fed. All for a mere £5. (Q3) Does it get any better than that?

Teams of 4, and entries need to go to socialsecretary [at] bblrc [dot] com with the name of the team and its members.

You'd be a fool to miss it / if you're a fool you ought to give it a miss [delete as applicable].

Answers: (Q1) yes; (Q2) a baby shark is a PUP (interestingly, a baby giraffe is known as a HALF-PINT); (Q3) no.

Getting Old With Dignity, 02/11

Nothing like kicking a man when he's down. We include the following email exchange in full just so you can see what kind of a man French David (our very own Soc. Sec. [sic.] really is)...

-----Original Message-----
From: Mike Collier
Sent: 02 November 2005 9:37 AM
To: French David
Subject: 30 minutes blind, etc...

David,

Just wanted to congratulate you on your blinding erg score last night.
You are an asset to the club and if you ever wanted to run for captain you'd
certainly get my vote.

Well done.

w/Rgds, Mike.

...what a lovely thing to do, so selfless and encouraging. Imagine poor Mike's face when he received the following diatribe from French David a few minutes later...

Mike,

A few points...

1)  We in the 2nd wave kept time like a metronome, and if anything had
trouble raising it above 23spm for the last 10 mins (I suspect because we
were too busy laying on raw slabs of refined power).

2)  I'm deeply suspicious of your improvement of a 35 whole metres, since
you're at the stage where erg times tend to show a relentless downward
trend.  Despite such desperate measures as installing one in your bedroom -
you have to actually do some training on it as well (very regularly updated
website, by the way).

3)  Had I been in your wave, I would have sat next to you.  Had I sat next
to you, I would have been at least 1 pip faster than you anyway
(French-Collier Industry Standard). 

4)  Back to the facts.  I was 1st last night.  You were 4th.  Fourth.  One,
two, three, fourth.  Let's put this is into a little bit more context:

        i)   Neither Frenchy nor Ben were there last night (otherwise you
             would have been sixth);
        ii)  Two of those who beat you are Novices;
        iii) One of those who beat you can't even erg properly (and as soon
             as he learns, I certainly won't be 1st any more...);
        iv)  None of those who beat you own their own erg;
        v)   None of those who beat you could be found drinking from a
             Giraffe minutes after the completion of their erg test.

French David.
Country Relief Action Plan Section (C.R.A.P.S.)

We have it on good authority that poor Mike is inconsolable. He is also slightly bemused by point ii) above as he was under the impression that only one was a novice, although perhaps French David is referring to the fact that, although he has 2 points, he is still "technically a novice".

[Please note that Mike's original email above was sent to the blog offices by Mike himself and we cannot guarantee its authenticity. If we were betting men we might say that it looked more like the following - ed.]

-----Original Message-----
From: Mike Collier
Sent: 02 November 2005 9:37 AM
To: French David
Subject: 30 minutes blind, etc...

David,

Just wanted to make it clear that I am DEEPLY suspicious of the 150m 
improvement in your score last night.

It's important to remember that not doing your test in the same wave as the 
other seniors means that we cannot guarantee that you took exactly as many 
strokes as us.

Imagine the situation where we all rowed at 20spm but my group was rowing 
nearer to 19 and yours nearer to 21.  That would give you somewhere between 
20 and 30 extra strokes over 30 minutes which would equate to roughly 200 to

300 extra metres.  Of course the opposite could be true - but I don't think 
so.

In short I'm afraid you have to do it next to us for it to count.

Anyway, can't chat - have to order another giraffe.

w/Rgds, Mike.

Frightfully Important, 31/10

We at the blog are pretty sure that you will now have read and inwardly digested the Captain's THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ email of earlier today. Whilst we agree that safety is of paramount importance we couldn't help noticing a couple of stand-out sentences:

"Websites will be improved to make the information easier to find." - harrumph!

...but this has to be our personal favourite...

"There will be a requirement for all coxswains, steersmen and scullers to be certified." - and with these regs. we're going to need to be.

The commute from Shenley is probably do-able if you escape early enough!

Captain's Log, 31/10

A very busy weekend saw Cygnet on the water in force with four fours, a pair and a single out on Saturday and four fours on Sunday despite the horrible high winds. So many willing oarsman, is there a race coming up? Thanks to Alan Cox for his time on Saturday and to Tom Dawes, Simon's little [sic.] brother from IC Medics who coached the novice boat on Sunday.

THIS WEEK

BEGINNERS SCULLING POD

As the tide is right, Mike has offered to coach/lead a novice sculling pod one day this weekend [SATURDAY - ed.] after usual outings at about 11.30. Interested? Contact Mike.

FOURS HEAD

Fours head crews may, of course, arrange their own outing times as they prefer. Last chance for practice outings this weekend! Both of our damaged coxless fours will be back from the repair man this weekend so the following applies:

KIT

BIRC

Absolutely the last chance to apply for this is today, on-line.

HOUSEKEEPING

Pretty good so far, well done, but please make a paticular effort to clear up after yourselves in the kitchen. Thanks.

The Boathouse Chairman has ask for a willing volunteer to descale the showers please. Form an orderly queue outside Mr Leffler's office please.

VERY IMPORTANT

I will be sending out another mass email shortly which will doubtless be very boring to some of you but is actually very,very important to the future of rowing on the Tideway. Boring or not please take time to read it throughly.

If you have been, then put it in the dishwasher afterwards.

Neil.

Four Draw, 31/10

"Spookily" the draw for the upcoming Head of the River Fours is now up on their official website. It looks like all 5 Cygnet and 3 BBLRC crews are in. You'll find a link to the site (and draw) on our links page, under Heads.

More Head Charles II, 28/10

Aha, a "proper" Cygnet doing this truly world-class event as it should be done. From Matt, our beer & wine correspondent...

Whilst you're doing Head of the Charles Regatta news ...

An (ex-Cygnet) Simon Blackburn-powered sctatch Black Prince championship VIII came a respectable 39th in Champ VIIIs, behind Cambridge, Holland, Italy, etc. http://www.hocr-timing.org/results/56.htm.

On the other hand, the scratch Black Prince club VIII, handbraked by me, came 50th in Club VIIIs, behind such luminaries of the rowing world as Caius (Cambridge), Abingdon schoolboys 2nd VIII, Hild Bede (Durham), and the strangely named* "Wide Load BC" http://www.hocr-timing.org/results/13.htm.

On the wildlife front, Black Prince did see some Giraffes in the area and a veritable herd of the creatures were grazing on our table on Sunday evening, but the natives insisted on referring to them as "über-towers."

Lady Plug, 28/10

Just a quick plug for the newly revamped BBLRC website. Child-like in its simplicity [hardly surprising given its new webmaster - ed.] it does however contain one or two nice touches. We particularly like the Facilities page, the Kit Locker now boasts some fantastic catalogue-model shots and the diary has been updated - but not much. We shall see...

Head Of The Charles, 25/10

[Our American correspondent reports on the Head of the Charles (quite long but worth the read and you weren't doing anything else were you?) - ed.]

> Wednesday 7:10am, Heathrow - "Sir, we can't allow your fiance to check
> in as her passport is not scan-able as is required for entry to the US.
> She will have to get a new one before travelling to the US!" Flight
> taking off in 75 minutes. Shit. Head back to Chiswick, off to emergency
> passport office. 3 hours later, and much beaurocratic arsing about
> later, US-worthy passport for fiance in hand. Back to Heathrow for  
> next flight to New York.
>
> 4:30pm - Flight delayed. Mother with 3 cranky toddlers in seats ahead
> not doing well. Dis-interested father seems keen to watch the rain
> collect on the window. "can three children cry non-stop for 8 hours?".
> Close, they managed 4 hours, then all asleep mid scream. Bless.
>
> 8pm US, Arrive New York. Decide to save a little cash on accomodations.
> JFK Inn, a 'nice' place, where strobe lights are available for rent at
> the front desk, and two of the walls in each room are fully mirrored.
> Strange, un-identifiable smell in the room.
>
> Thursday, Bus to Boston, head straight to Union Boat Club. No one there
> to rendezvous. Shit. I eventually get into the clubhouse, and a gym
> like this I have never seen, polished wooden floors, real old school.
> Felt like I was back in UK, in Oxford. Got into a hot-rod borrowed
> Empacher and did a sortie on the Charles course. Felt dead, could not
> get above a 24. Shit. Boat felt heavy, vortex edged C2 blades felt
> clunky. This is going to be ugly.
>
> Friday morning, turn up to the greeting of the club president who
> offers me the use of his single - lighter than the one I was offered
> thus far. Both being Empachers, decisiveness was not happening. Faffed
> around for nearly 2 hours before finally decided exactly which blades
> to use. About another hour before deciding which boat to race in. Went
> out for a 2nd sortie. Still feeling sore and heavy. Jet-lag is a tough
> opponent. Top tip from a little experiment I did Friday night to
> decrease the soreness/achiness - massage and ice pack - worked like
> magic, life-saver. I am sure there is science to it, like blood
> circulation increase, etc.
>
> Saturday - RACE DAY - race time was perfect, 13:15, so body felt like
> it was rowing in the evening UK time. Much colder, much windier. Final
> tinkering. Warm-up. Mis-judged time needed to get to the start from the
> boathouse. panic. It is so great to launch from a real boathouse with
> real toilets at a big race. No fussing with porta-loos for last minute
> slashes. No queue for the dock, just go. And good thing. I arrived at
> the starting line with the race already started..... but starting 2nd
> to last, 55th has it advantages. Got a little nod from a Tideway
> Sculler starting a few spots ahead.
>
> ...and we're off. #56 catches a crab behind me and nearly flips. See ya
> boss. #54 next up, snuck inside him and #53 in the sweeping first turn
> to bow. but after that, I was all alone. Nice thing about having a
> local club's blades - you get loads of unexpected support! Nice thing
> about having a friend who plays the bag-pipes show up to support - you
> get very interesting and inspirational support.
>
> I finished 7th, which is auto entry for next year and means i'll be 2nd
> starting position instead of 55th, as the top 5 are forced to graduate
> to the open division. Had a decent row. another repeat of pairs head.
> consistent, but nothing outlandish. this thing is win-able no question
> about it.
>
> ...this course is so twisty. you burn up your body going full pressure on
> one side to make some of the turns! i was well in contention until the
> last half according to the split times, but fell off on the big final
> bend so i know where i need to concentrate on for next year!
>
> See you on the Tideway very soon....
>
> Finally, after a 12 hour bus ride from boston, i have reached casa
> Kinal. Nice to be home!
>
> I have to say that shaking off jet lag is quite difficult before a big
> race, i have some tips for next year.
>
> 1. make sure that your or your significant other's British or other
> passport is the new scannable type required for entry to the US.
>
> 2. If forced to take later flight than planned...
>    2.1 Fly into boston not New York, to then have to take a bus to boston.
>    2.2 Upon arrival in JFK, decide to spend a little more on hotel than  
>        the JFK Inn in which each room has two walls covered in mirrors.
>
> Julian

[What does he mean tips for next year? - ed.]

Anyway a big well done to Julian from all at the blog for his performance in this world class event. The blog has some Cygnet-style top-tips for Julian for next year...

If The Boot Fits, 25/10

[The following has been received from our fashion correspondent. He gets a bit fiery, but is basically harmless - ed.]

Are you fed up with never being able to find a pair of wellies for your outing? Annoyed because the boots are all too small 'cos the girls have nicked all the big ones again? Well our in-house Kit Tart is here to help you with a recipe guaranteed to get you the boots you deserve.

Hi kids, here's a really simple way to boot heaven:

Next week Kit Tart will be showing Andy how to find some zinc oxide tape and get it to the boathouse so he can use it for outings. He'll also be helping Iain solve his conundrum as to why his favorite wellies are always back in the pile when he knows that he always leaves them in the middle of the changing room floor after every outing.

Dave, 24/10

We at the blog were having a quiet cup of tea and taking a look at what our friends had to offer on their websites. Imagine our surprise when following the link to the BBLRC site we found, not the elaborate royal blue text and pictures we are used to, but just the single expletive - DAVE.

If you're quick you might catch it too. What does it mean? Watch this space.

Damn! It's gone (but it was a beautiful thing while it lasted). Now we are going to be treated to a BIG reconstruction. Some free IT advice for whoever is doing the update (DAVE) - for that professional touch do your reconstruction off-line and then upload when happy.

Alternatively simply add a professional.

Captain's Log, 24/10

A very busy weekend off the water saw the annual Cygnet Veterans lunch at Leander and the Putney Town Phoenix Party on Saturday with the Pairs Head Prize Giving at the club on Sunday.

Record numbers at the vets lunch this year with 50 guests eagerly awaiting my maiden captain's speech, what other reason could there have been for such a good turnout? Nick Mullins, the BBC commentator, said a few words as well and joined us in Ye White Hart for a couple afterwards. He has also threatened to join the club! We shall see. Against their better judgement the captaincy, ex-captain and bar steward, pushed on to Putney Town, intending to advance inter-club relations, arriving just in time for the beer to run out! Never going there again - no beer, no giraffe, rubbish.

Sunday saw a few hangovers, 2 fours and a pair out followed by the Pairs Head Prize Giving Ceremony. Thanks to everyone that helped out, it all went very well.

THIS WEEK:

HEAD RACING:

COMING UP:

CONGRATULATIONS:

[Spectacular result! Full details can be found on the Head of the Charles website. Take a look at 2005 Regatta, Results, Event 8M Club Singles Men - ed.]

AND FINALLY:

If you have been, make sure there's a club logo on it.

Neil.

Weekend Fun, 23/10

Lots going on in and around the boathouse over the weekend. Saturday saw the annual Vets Lunch at Leander (Henley) with a record attendance of around 50 members and friends. All who attended reported quaffable wine, delicious food and entertaining speeches from the captain and Nick Mullins of the BBC.

Sunday saw the boathouse a hive of activity as BBLRC mobilized all their top guns to cater (and host) the Pairs Head prizegiving. Lorna Norris (ex-BBLRC and current GB sculler) was on hand to present the prizes and the event organizer went to great lengths to thank members from Cygnet and BBLRC for all their help on the day. When the blog left the boathouse mid-afternoon members of both clubs were just embarking on their 4th giraffe of beer (that's 24 pints in old money) and were polishing off the last of the sausage rolls.

I'm sure many of us will have received our e-vites to the BBLRC Snow Ball in December. You'll be pleased to hear that plans are well advanced for the accompanying Waddle. This time we're going to attempt the impossible and spell B-B-L-R-C in pub names. The "L" is proving troublesome. Can you help?

Entered the British Indoor Rowing Champs yet? Why not? Do it here and make your club proud. Apart from anything else there'll be a lot of squad rowers there and it's nice to see where all your lottery money goes. For all single Cygnets it's also a GREAT place to meet young, fit, university-type rowing ladies. No, it really is.

Today's BBLRC recipe tip. To make a simple, yet tasty tomato dip for corn tortillas simply squirt some ketchup in a bowl and serve.

Stiff Card, 21/10

Dr. French [you know, the one with the younger, fitter, more handsome brother - ed.] has added a few Blind Cards entries into the mix...

What do you think? Can YOU do better?

Also we have been sent this rather interesting photo of the "seated queueing scheme" on Dukes Meadows prior to the Pairs Head - so we are also running a caption competition here at the Blog. First prize is a sculling masterclass with Stu "Funky" Gibbons, second prize is two sculling masterclasses with Funky, third prize...etc.

We Stand On Guard For Thee, 20/10

A very interesting note from our honourable Soc. Sec. who appears to be pulling birds from the Colonies as well as at home. Marcia, if you ever read this, we have pasted a likeness of David on the right so you can make up your own mind.

We at the blog particularly like paragraph 2; and the fact that Marcia has chosen to place "social secretary" in ironic quotes. How does she know?

-----Original Message-----
From: A Canadian Rower
Sent: 16 October 2005 10:08 PM
To: French David
Subject: "Social" Query from an overseas rower

Hello

If anyone could help, I though it would be your club's 'social
secretary'....I hope you don't mind me emailing you directly.

I am a member of the Argonaut Rowing Club in Toronto, Ontario
*www.argonautrowingclub.com - warning: our site sucks compared to Cygnet RC*
and came across your club during a search for information relating to the
Oxford/Cambridge Boat Race.

I'm contemplating a trip to London around the time of the the race next year
and tho' there is some information found online for 'spectators', I thought
I'd ask a rower for their opinion on the best place to watch or at least
enjoy the atmosphere. The Blue Anchor pub is highly recommended but I'd need
to be there super early in the day...perhaps watch from a particular bridge
closer to the end of the race...? 

Any assistance / comments would be appreciated.

Best of luck with the rest of your racing season.

Thanks, Marcia.

"Quasimodo" French has agreed to reply, letting her know that (obviously) the best place to watch is in our boathouse lounge, drinking our beer [possibly from a giraffe - ed.], legging it up the steps, getting drenched by the wash, then back down again!

On a completely different note Pretty-Boy Naylor has sent in a few suggestions for our "blind cards" competition (see Carded 19/10 below):

Note his pathetic use of Mr. & Dr. for his bum-chums on the committee while the rest of us get treated like turds, and shouldn't he be studying for his accountancy exams anyway?

Keep sending 'em in...

Carded, 19/10

I'm sure we all agree that the captain has come up with some particularly fiendish Tuesday ergo tests. Last night's involved doing 30 minutes "blind", that is with the machine's screen covered so that only the spm and elapsed time were visible. In order to accomplish this he had prepared a small square of card to stick over each display. Printed on each card was a useful hint (or tip) intended to aid each oarsman as he progressed through the test. For example mine [whoever I am - ed.] said "Pull Harder", neglected to say "You F*ck*r", and completely got on my "t*ts".

However this has got us thinking about appropriate motivational ergo sentences for various members of the club. For example...

Can you do better? Send them to "webmaster [at] cygnet-rc [dot] org [dot] uk" and we'll see if we can come up with a prize.

New Concept To Discuss, 19/10

The latest C2 newsletter can be found here. Amongst other things you can get a copy of this year's BIRC poster (what do you mean you haven't entered yet?), and read all about RowLogs [which are not what we do prior to weekend outings - ed.]. Go on, give it a try.

Captain's Log, 17/10

A glorious weekend bought the competitors and the supporters out in force for a very successful Pairs Head of the River. Sandwiches were filled, cake consumed, tea sold, boats marshaled, numbers distributed and giraffes of ale enjoyed. So successful was the giraffe in fact, that the bar ran out of beer! What genius thought of getting one of those? Oh yes, there were some boats racing on the river too...

Cygnet were represented by 2 1/2 crews and both the doubles put in a good showing with a composite of Chris Jillings and Jane Gotts (Deben RC) coming 4th in the mixed S3 2x (14:10). Julian and Noel came a highly commendable 3rd in the S4 2x (13.12) - a very worthwhile result after all their dedicated training over the last 4 months, with only Thames and IC finishing ahead of them. At the other end of the spectrum, and in true Cygnet style, your Captain and former Vice Captain decided to see if the old magic was still there entering an effectively scratch Senior 3 pair and registering a surprisingly good 8th from 22 S3 starters (14.22). Full results and photos here .

A big thanks from me and the Pairs Head Committee to everyone that stayed and made themselves useful on Saturday. These events are only possible thanks to the efforts of all the volunteers.

We also did some regular rowing this weekend, with two fours and a coach going out on both Saturday and Sunday.

THIS WEEK:

Having spoken with Greg he has advised a slight change to land training. It would be better to do weights on a Monday rather than a Wednesday evening so that will be the plan from now on. Remember that the ladies will be erging on Mondays so please be considerate.

SATURDAY:

It's the Vets lunch at Leander on Saturday and if you're quick you may still just be able to book a place. Contact Phil Beckett if you'd like to go. Otherwise there is a party at Putney Town RC that we're all invited to on Saturday afternoon. This is to celebrate 10 years of the new PTRC boathouse. Open to all friends of Putney Town (yes we are) - friends and family welcome. Details are attached [were attached - ed.] and also posted in the boathouse. Let Ben know if you intend to go, I'll be along later.

SUNDAY:

Pairs head prize giving from 12.30 at the boathouse. All welcome, nay encouraged, to stay after outings for drinks and nibbles and the chance to mix it up with some really good rowers and the latest intake of novice BB Ladies.

VETS FOURS HEAD:

Aged 27 or over? Then you too are elegable for the Vets Fours head. It's the Sunday after the Fours Head (13/11). If you haven't already please let me know if you're interested in competing.

OTHER EVENTS:

Good luck to Julian and Greg both of whom are off to the US this week to compete in the Head of the Charles and congratulations to Pete and Noel both of whom competed in the Nike 10k on Sunday.

SAFETY:

I'm sure that you're all aware of the unpleasant events that occurred on Barnes Common last week. Please take care getting about now it's dark, especially if you're out running. Try not to run alone and please offer to escort the Ladies to their cars or across the bridge after training.

Too much already. I shall stop. If you have been, try it from a giraffe next time.

Neil.

Right Pairs, 17/10

A big well done to the 2 Cygnet and 1 Cygnet/Deben composite crews racing in last Saturday's Pairs Head. Noel and Julian managed a magnificent 3rd in S4 2x. Chris and Neil were 8th in S3 2- and Chris and Jane (Deben RC) came 4th in Mixed S3 2x. Great results from all 3 crews.

Lots more pictures can be found on the BigBlade and Eliot George websites.

BBLRC Social Thanks, 17/10

See below for Poppy's thank-you to all who helped out during Saturday's Pairs Head afternoon. Once again our two clubs were involved from top to bottom and back to front through the day - a real joint effort [in everything but sharing the proceeds, obviously - ed.].

Just wanted to say a massive THANK YOU to all those who helped with the catering efforts on Saturday - we've made just over £500 profit which is fantastic news - one of the most successful days ever (despite an exploding tea-urn). Particular thanks to Andy, Claire, Es and Rhiannon for their help with the preparations; Nick, Stu and Matt for lugging things around for me; and of course to Jo, Katy, Lou, Lindsay, Tamlyn, Kerren, Annabelle, Mary, Tammy, Es, Carolyn and Theresa for their excellent skills on the stall. Tamlyn deserves a special mention for her efforts behind the bbq - I don't think anyone managed to cross the hard without being sold a bacon buttie! Finally, our next challenge is the Fours Head on November 12th where I'm hoping we'll be equally successful. However, I'm going to need some help with this one - with impeccable timing I've got my exams and am moving house in the 4 days leading up to this so I'm going to need someone else to take charge. Cheers, Poppy.

Schotts, 12/10

First things first, this year's all-new ergo test xls can be found on our ergo page. Nowhere to run, etc.

Secondly you might like to listen to this, sent in by our security correspondent. And I quote...

There I was google-whacking for some top tips on steering the Tideway and squeezing those last few vital seconds out of the boat when stumbled across this. (I know - it's the rock'n'roll lifestyle I lead - and maybe actually doing some fitness might squeeze even more vital seconds out, but hey hum!). If you listen to it, the Boat has turned and starts the 'paddle' to the start line at about the 13 min mark, crossing the start line some 15 seconds later. So, could it be that "Pull Harder You F**ker" really is a world-class call? (But of course, as we all know, it should really be "Push Harder you F**cker" because "Study winning crews and you'll see that quick, strong, continuous leg drive is essential for success" - "Rowing Faster", 2005).

Winter Training Be-eeyore-gins, 12/10

Fully kitted-out in his brand new, snuggally winter coaching coat, assistant-to-the-deputy-chief-Cygnet-coach Medium Mike Collier prepares to instruct the first outing of the winter season. What could go wrong?

Lost In Translation, 11/10

Here's the full German newspaper story from our revered deputy captain...

...to translate the German slightly more competently, here are the
sections talking about Cygnet, in half-competent English:

"Oats and Guinness"

... At the 34th Rhine Marathon the rowers from Fermoy RC in Ireland
improved their time from last year by 15 minutes, finishing 49th in 2:20.53
over the distance from Leverkusen to RC Germania's boathouse in Dusseldorf.
But the trophy for fastest overseas crew went to Cygnet RC from London in
2:17.49. "In the last 10 marathons Fermoy has won the fastest overseas crew
trophy seven times. Since we did not manage to win this year, it'll be a
good reason to come again next year," said Michael Donellan. Micahel was
not in the "family four". "He had to row with the big boys, we are the
lightweights of the family" joked Paul, who was in a crew with his brothers
Steven, Shane and Connor. At home on the emerald island they row, if ever,
on the river Black Water, where one can only row for 4 km before the water
gets too shallow. They have prepared themselves for the 42.8km marathon
distance in Germany in a typically Irish fashion. "Oats in the morning, and
mainly Guinness in the evening - that how we've trained both last year and
this year," said Steven. Father Sean clarifies the proviso, "Sometimes they
had a hard-boiled egg in the evening as well."...

Westdeutsche Zeitung 10.10.2005
... Marjorie from Cygnet wonders why she volunteered to row the Marathon
again. "The river is so wide, the wind so strong, the waves are so high and
all those large boats!" In spite of all this, she's participating for the
fourth time....

The caption under the photo says:"Careful, oncoming traffic on the Rhine"
- The marathon rowers have to keep an eye out for more than just their
opposition....

This article must have been written by the weird woman who walked up for a
chat before we'd even started. Rhiannon and I were having a coke while Alan
was on his first beer. Her crew members were drinking beer before the
start! Anyway, she was just asking us questions and scribbling down lots
although she never actually asked if she could interview us, or quote us or
anything. She just looked rather messy. You know, hair sticking out
everywhere as if she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards - probably
trying to escape having to do the marathon because the article goes on to
relate how they finally were rowing together after 20 k, that under these
conditions they had to really grip the blades to avoid them flying out of
their hands in a big spaghetti tangle and how her thumbs got smacked
between the two handles... obviously had never done it before because
that's what happened to me the first time too - bloody all in one and so
on"

Note to self: Next time when strange women come for a chat holding a
notepad, tell her all about the fast crews we've sent out with all those
good-looking rowers in them!

Small Castrati Bumps His Head, 11/10

Recently appointed novice captain, Lance-Ambulanceman and suspected castrati Gledhill bumped-his-head-in-the-line-of-duty recently. Because he's a big girl and wants lots of icky sympathy he has sent in the whole story. I wouldn't panda [sic.] to it if I were you...

First shift out "solo" - crewed with a team leader, so thought I would be ok.

I "elected" to attend, first job of the day, nice little urgent, taking a reasonably ok 4 month old baby with mum and 2 nurses (!!!) from West Midds to St Georges. What could go wrong?

Asked to transfer on blue lights, so Dave (team leader) is making steady progress down the Upper Richmond Road. I have about 30 seconds before, moved from the re-sus seat up to the foot end of the trolley bed to check on child (who is in a child seat, all snug and strapped in).

HOLD ON is shouted from the cab - too late, and anyway, hold onto what?

Very heavy braking to avoid the Merc estate that has just pulled out right in front of us. We do not hit it, and it drives off...

However, I fly forward, and I mean fly. Head first straight into the cupboards where there is a nice sharp edge, and cut my freeking head wide open, blood everywhere, on my shirt, on my new EMT2 epaulettes, all over the floor.

Luckily, I land near the blue roll, so a bit of positive pressure to stem the blood. Dave comes through the doorway, I am sure I heard him laugh, and wraps a bloody great dressing all around my head.

Being a couple of professionals, we advise the nurses (who looked slightly shocked) that this is all in a days work for the LAS, and we continue on with our transfer.

On arriving at St Georges, the waiting crews look confused as an LAS person gets out the back all covered in blood, and then proceeds to get the trolley bed out with a baby all strapped on it, sleeping peacefully.

So, I book myself in with reception, see the doctor, and have 7 STITCHES PUT IN MY HEAD.

In my 43 years, I have never actually been in hospital for an injury or illness, or indeed hurt myself in any way that has required anything more than a plaster. I do 1 job at Isleworth, and my head is all smashed in.

For us at the blog the three stand-outs in this story are (1) Dave requires a team leader when he's the only person in the team, (2) said team leader doesn't let Dave drive the ambulance and ensures there are always two nurses in the back to correct his medical cock-ups, and (3) he's more worried about his new EMT2 epaulettes than his head. Sigh...

Simply Press, 11/10

Why not enjoy reading the blog whilst sipping a cool beer, freshly poured from (for example) a long-necked beer tower, or giraffe. What do you mean you can't because the miserly bar steward won't buy one? Surely that can't be true?

Anyway apparently we get a mention in the article on Page 7 (Haferflocken und Guinness) column 1 and even better, there's a quote from a certain "Marjorie vom Cygnet Ruderclub aus London" in the article on Page 8 (Wenn Ruderer der Ehrgeiz packt) column 1.

An initial stab at translating the second of these is - Marjorie of the Cygnet rudder club from London asks oneself, why she takes part in again "the river is so broadly, the wind so strongly, the waves is so highly, so many and so large ships!" Nevertheless it participates the fourth time - which after half a bottle of Pimms is almost exactly how Marj does speak!

But does anyone actually Sprecken du Deutsch?

Captain's Log, 10/10

Today's Captain's Log is brought to you by Le Girafe. "If your bar hasn't got one then it's rubbish and the bar steward should be sacked." - not my words but the words of Top Gear magazine.

Dear all,

This weekend saw our annual pilgrimage to Dusseldorf for the Rhine Marathon, although I think that the word marathon refers to the amount of Altbier you are required to consume rather than anything as trivial as actually rowing 42 kms. I am however, very pleased to report that not only did we keep the British end up with regards to the drinking (Alan and the Chairman leading the charge) but the four finally wrested the Fastest Overseas Crew trophy from the clutches of Fermoy RC and missed out on the Fastest Sweep Oared Boat title by a mere 40 seconds in 2hrs 17mins 46 secs. A superb effort from all the crew - Christian, me, Mike C, [Dr. - ed.] David F and Nick W - and my first win as captain. The mixed quad of Christoph, Nick E, Nick W, Rhiannon and Marj also put in a very respectable time indeed of 2 hrs 39mins. I'm very proud. Photos will be posted soon.

Particular thanks to Christoph who was charged with making our stay in Benrath as comfortable as possible. He did so very efficiently. Ze Vaddle could have had a couple more stops but other than that, superb service as always.

[In typical style our German hosts had decided that the speed and efficiency of Ze Vaddle could be vastly increased by simply removing all those unnecessary stops at pubs and bars along the way. "Let's get ready to ramble." - ed.]

Meanwhile back at the boathouse........I've heard no reports to the contrary so I assume that everything went very well!

THIS WEEK

SATURDAY afternoon is the Pairs Head and it's still not too late to volunteer to help out. Refreshments provided for all helpers. Please let Ali, Katherine or me know if you can hang around and help out.

I think that I've banged on enough about the forthcoming head races but the Fours Head is the next big one on the 12th November and I need to know availability this week. It's looking like we might get all five of our fours out for this race but we have to get entries in soon before it fills up. Let me know. All forthcoming stuff is on the website too.

SOCIAL DATES FOR YOUR DIARY

CORRECTION

As I'm sure that you've all seen on the blog, Nick Wyatt did indeed get into the top 20 of the Rowers Revenge Triathlon. Two of the results above his were posted by relay teams which don't count. Apparently.

That's your lot. If you have been, make sure that the whip pays for it.

Neil.

Rather Small Revengers, 05/10

A selection of our recent revengers, erm, revenging. Note the sprint finish between Psycho Bates & Pretty-Boy Naylor in the 2nd shot. Too exciting for words!

Has anyone got a magnifying glass?

Remind You Of Anyone, 04/10

For those of you with a few minutes at work (and Quicktime) you might like to take a look at Gollum's acceptance speech for the best digital performance award at the 2003 MTV movie awards. It's a classic (and Hugo winner).

If you're (say) working closely with ministers, generals or asylum seekers you might like to heed the warnings and turn that volume DOWN...

Captain's Log, 03/10

STOP PRESS...

> From: Nick Wyatt
> Date: October 3, 2005 11:53:42 BST
> To: Neil Pickford
> Subject: RE: Captain's log
>
> Just to say I did actually come in the top 20 - 2 of those that beat 
> me were in relay teams which is cheating so I came 19th - that's what 
> I'm saying anyway!

[This with reference to Nick's rubbish 21st placing in the Rowers Revenge which (because he is so busy at work) he has "recalculated" to be 19th using (a) Civil Service calculators and (b) tax payers money - ed.]

...AND NOW THE REST OF THE LOG...

Three fours and a single out on a pleasant but windy Saturday morning. I was away on Sunday but I'm sure that it all went very well as I've heard nothing to the contrary.

Congratulations to the 8 Cygnets, 2 BB Ladies and 1 guest that competed in the Rowers Revenge Triathlon on Sunday. We should all be very proud of the effort that was put into a very hard event and it was great to see all 9 guys lined up on the ergs tapping it along in unison. Excellent sprint finish between Bates and Naylor too. Nick Wyatt's confidence was not misplaced as the closest Cygnet to his time was yours truly, 8.24 minutes off his blistering 1:29.42. Unfortunately for Nick everyone else is getting quicker too and he failed to break into the Top 20, coming 21st again! Full results on the Rowers Revenge website.

Talking of hard events, Rhiannon has asked me to pass on the following with regards to her Rhine Marathon debut this weekend:

> Since I've been coerced (guilt-tripped) into participating in the 
> Rhine Marathon this coming weekend, I thought I may as well ensure 
> there was a point to trekking over to Germany, rowing for three hours 
> and drinking a lot. Consequently, I'm taking part in aid of the Cystic 
> Fibrosis Trust, which is a cause very close to my heart. More info can 
> be found here: www.cftrust.org.uk; and I've set up a justgiving page 
> here: http://www.justgiving.com/rhiannonmeredith if you'd like to 
> sponsor me. Many thanks, Rhiannon.

THIS WEEK:

HEAD RACING:

I sent a mail out to all the active oarsmen last week and eagerly await your responses. I shall post reminders. If you haven't already, please let me know soon if you want to race in the Four's head as entries are all ready starting to fill up.

Next weekend, Saturday 15th. Pairs Head volunteers required. Let me know if you stay and help.

For all you keen scullers out there Noel has posted the following:

> I wondered if any of you would be interested in racing at either 
> Saturday 29th October Marlow Long Distance Sculls (4400 m 1x only) or 
> Sunday 30th October Upper Thames Head (3200 m 2 Divisions: various 
> Classes)
> All details can be found on the website: 
> http://www.rowing.biddulph.btinternet.co.uk/2005cal.htm#oct
> Ideally I would like to organise to race at Upper Thames, A quad scull 
> in the morning and Double sculls in the afternoon.

SCULLING BLADES:

I have repainted all of our club sculling blades. There are now two easily identified sets of club blades that you can use, the blue spooned Sutton's and the white spooned Concept II's. Any other blades belong to either BBRLC or are privately owned and shouldn't be taken out. Please try to keep the Cygnet club blades on the right hand side of the rack.

HOUSEKEEPING:

As we will all be spending a lot more time in and around the boathouse and The Shed for the next six months can we please make an effort to keep it in a reasonable state.

In the changing room - Rubbish in the bins, kit hung up or in lockers, wellies in the pile, cups in the dishwasher, bikes outside etc, etc. If you have to bring your bike inside please leave it by the door not in front of the benches. Kit left lying around on the floor or the benches will be disposed of. You have been warned. Small lockers are still available, talk to Andy Naylor.

In the shed - Please wipe down the ergs after use, put the weights away safely and use the bin provided for your rubbish.

Everywhere else - rubbish in the bins, cups in the dishwasher, glasses in the bar blah, blah, blah...

HINT: If the bin is full, the full bag can be put in the wheelie bin behind Emanuel and new ones can be found in the kitchen. As can mops and brooms but I know that I'm wasting my breath on that one.

You're all very kind.

Neil.

Ergo Prep For Twits, 03/10

With serious ergo training due to start tomorrow night now might be a good time to do a bit of homework. The Concept2 website has lots of useful information and its training resources are pretty good. Technique, planning and motivation (aka beer) are all covered in good detail.

Revenge Served Warm, 03/10

A big well done to all Cygnets, Barnes Bridgers and friends who competed in yesterday's Rowers Revenge triathlon down in Marlow. Full results can be found on the Mikrotime website.

Highlights include a 21st overall for the Nickelator and a very close finish between Psycho Bates and Pretty-Boy Naylor who were separated by just 0.61 seconds.

Dr. French was the slowest Cygnet with a penis - "even Balders beat him" - this is probably because he's making use of said penis a bit more frequently nowadays.

Concept Two News, 02/10

The latest C2 newsletter can be found here. Do you care?

Old Logs Two, 01/10

[This one from the 26th September - ed.]

A very busy (and filthy) river on Saturday saw two fours and a pair out with Alan putting a new novice through his paces in the tank. The forecast bad weather stayed away on Sunday and two fours enjoyed a much quieter (but still filthy) river with some excellent coaching for the coxed boat from Ben. Thanks to both Ben and Alan for their time this weekend, all very valuable.

It's very encouraging to see Nick, Andy and Marc stepping-up and bow-steering fours. This gives me many more options and takes the pressure off of Marj as our only cox. We're still on the look-out for another regular cox so if anyone has any short, light, bossy friends or family with a penchant for tall, heavy, handsome boys in lycra, you know when to send 'em.......

Congrats to Nick Wyatt who came 280th (ish) in the Great North Run last weekend, a very creditable position and a strong marker down for the Rower's Revenge next Sunday. Remember if any of us get within 5 minutes of him, he's buying.

THIS WEEK:

NEXT WEEK:

Winter squad training begins in earnest. All session start at 7.00pm and anyone serious about going fast in a boat is encouraged to attend as many sessions as possible. If you expect to race then erg's and/or circuits are a must.

Circuits are £4 a session or £35 if you pay in advance for all ten weeks. Monies to Marj please. We'd like to start dinner after circuits again and list is up in the kitchen for volunteers to cook.

PAIRS HEAD Saturday 15th October.

The pairs head is run by BBLRC and takes place in the afternoon this year. There are always things to help with including, timing, marshaling and boating. I'd appreciate any assistance that you can provide by staying on after outings on Saturday to help out. Officials are always well fed and watered as well as the kudos that poncing around with a megaphone can bring. Please let me know if you can stay and help out.

Enough from me. If you have been, try harder next time.

Neil.

Old Logs One, 01/10

[This one from the 19th September - ed.]

First an apology. Having had to moan a lot recently about taking care of the kit I managed to ding the Richard Du Parcq over Sculling camp, without ever getting it off the trailer! It is now at the repair shop along with the Paul Rawkins and both boats should be back by the end of the month. Not a good an example for the captain to set I know but I have offered to contribute to the repair which is a better example I hope. This does however leave us with just one coxed four (the Alan Cox) for a couple of weeks so please come via me if you want to take a coxless four out.

On a brighter note, another successful sculling camp was had, albeit smaller and a bit more intimate than April but no the worse for it. Outings were had, single were wobbled, Thames was tasted, cake was eaten and Killerpitch was drunk ! I'm assured that everyone had a good time both on and off the water and many thanks to all the S'campers for their willingness to help with the chores. A good team effort all round but particular thank to Stu who can be proud of a successfully organised first Sculling camp for him and a special mention for Rhiannon who almost single-handedly kept the Barnes Bridge Sculling Camp Catering tradition alive and kicking. Awesome fried bread.

Last weekend also saw a successful End of Season Dinner which was more traditional, low key affair after the Benrath 40th event in the summer. Geordie's ambitious 6 hour C-Y-G-N-E-T waddle was completed in time for supper deep in the bowels of Belgos Centraal where we were, as promised, efficiently kicked out at 9.00pm. A somewhat lacklustre effort for post dinner beers ensued but most were simply relieved to have survived the waddle and were on the train home well before Pumpkin time. Thanks to David and Marj for arranging the food and Geordie for the waddle.

Commiseration's to Neil Jackson and Steve Otterburn who didn't manage to medal at the FISA Masters. Hard luck Gents but we're proud that you once again represented the club at international level. Congratulations however to BBLRC's Ali Elliot who came away from the same event with two golds.

THIS WEEK:

Please be on time for weekend outings. These times will be strictly enforced.

As you know circuit training will begin (with BBLRC) on Thursday 6th October. We will once again be using the School hall and the services of professional fitness guru, Greg Edelston, both of which incur costs. Up to Christmas there will be 10 sessions and this will cost £35 if you pay up front for all 10. If you prefer, you can pay £4 per session, as and when you attend. Any surplus will be carried over until next year. This is one of the most important winter fitness sessions and I encourage all active oarsmen to attend. Please contact Marj if you'd like to book in advance. We will also try to get dinner after circuits going again and a list will go up in the kitchen very soon.

Too much from me already but do be aware of some very high tides this week.

If you have been, try taking more water with it.

Neil.

Gone Fishing, 10/09

The blog's on holiday until October 3rd. In the meantime here's some music...

Th-th-th-th-thirtysix (c) Blog Sandcastle

In 2005 Vietnam seemed like just another foreign holiday
but it wasn't
It was different in many ways, and so were those that did the holidaying
In World War II the average age of the combat soldier was 26
In Vietnam he was 36
In inininininin Vietnam he was 36
In inininininin Vietnam he was 36
In inininininin Vietnam he was 36
th th th th thirtysix

The drinking and snoozing of the past two weeks continued today
25 miles north-west of Saigon
I wasn't really sure what was going on

Thththth thirtysix, 36, Th-thirtysix 36
36,36,36,36

In Vietnam the combat tourist typically served a three week tour of duty
But was exposed to hostile streetsellers almost everyday
Ththththththththththt 36 ththththththth 36
Ththththththththththt 36 ththththththth 36

In Saigon a U.S military spokesman said today more than 700 party goers
Were drunk last week in that sensitive border area
Throughout all of South Vietnam the holidaymakers lost a total 2689 Dong

All those who remember the holiday
They won't forget what they've seen
Destruction of men in their prime
Whose average was 36
Dedededededede-Destruction
Dedededededede-Destruction

According to a Veteran's Administration study
Half of the Vietnam holiday reps suffered from what Psychiatrists call
Post-Traumatic-Holiday-Disorder
Many reps complain of alienation, rage, or guilt
Some succumb to suicidal thoughts
Eight to Ten years after coming home almost eight hundred thousand men
Are still fighting the urge for lady boys

None of them received a heroes welcome

Dedededededede-Destruction

Thththththththththt thirtysix, 36, Th-thirtysix 36
36,36,36,36
Thththththththththt thirtysix, 36, Th-thirtysix 36
36,36,36,36

Vietnam S S Saigon
Vietnam S S Saigon
Vietnam S S Cygnet
Vietnam S S Cygnet
Purple heart Saigon
Purple heart Cygnet
Geordie isn't really sure what's going on
Golder isn't really sure what's going on
Davo isn't really sure what's going on
Grimshaw isn't really sure what's going on
Balders isn't really sure what's going on
Gibbons isn't really sure what's going on

Audacity, 10/09

Have just downloaded and been playing about with Audacity, quite a good (and free) audio recording package. Perhaps it's time for the blog to podcast?

Anyway here's a first test. Let us know what you think!

Favicon Winner, 10/09

With the exception of Simon French's blue and white penis the judges were incredibly impressed with the quality of the entries. Here's a reminder of them all...

After many hours deliberation the highly qualified (and completely sober) judging panel have decided that Bea's design is the winner, and it is now in place (although you may not see it for a while depending on your browser's caching configuration)...

Well done Bea. From our extensive staff of highly qualified coaches we have selected Ben to be your instructor. Please contact him directly to arrange your private sculling lesson. If you are having problems locating him you'll probably find his head on the pillow next to yours (hopefully still attached to his body).

Oh alright then, but it goes against everything I hold dear. Only when completely blown [up - ed.] can one appreciate the work which has gone into Mr. French's penis...

He won't be missed.

Going Going FaviCON, 07/09

The closing deadline for your favicon submissions is this coming Friday, 9th September. The winner will be announced during Saturday's Waddle.

Remember that the prize is a private sculling lesson from an experienced, handsome, older, ARA qualified coach (who still has all his own hair).

"Second prize is two sculling lessons. badoooom-tshhhhhh."

Cygnet In Henleyland, 05/09

A Note for Posterity...

Before Henley 2005 passes from the collective memory, it seems only fair and reasonable to reflect on the more momentous happenings of that week. If one had to summarise events in a few sentences, they would go something like this: it was a week in which Chairman Wylie vowed to sell his villa in Spain and take up yachting; Cygnet put up a sterling performance in the Silver Goblets; Davison Junior came with days of winning the Princess Elizabeth Cup, greatly adding to his fathers grey hairs; the President (Sly) visited new heights of misbehaviour in Remenham and the Chairman suffered from hallucinations. As a footnote, it would be churlish not to mention that your scribe (Rawkins P) caught the most humongous crab in the blue ribbon event of the club regatta, hastening the twilight of his rowing career! But read on.

For the first time in recent, nay, living memory Mike Arnold-Gilliat, the dowager Chairman, had been recalled to London during Henley week (to entertain some guests from Benrath). Consequently, his billet at the Flower Pot an idyllic Victorian fishing inn nestling by the Thames at Aston was up for grabs and Richard Kemball-Cook (KC to his friends) had stepped forward as a willing candidate. As we waved MAG goodbye on the Wednesday evening, there was an air of expectancy that sweeps over the Regatta from time to time: the weather forecast was not wholly bad, Cygnet and sons would be out on the water in force the following day and our trio would be blessedly free of Gilliats nocturnal grunts and groans. In short, a good nights sleep beckoned, but not before KC had been treated to an evening in the public bar.

The usual ribald humour greeted us as we stepped into the public bar and binge drinking was in full swing. Cygnet and Midland Bank were dug into their usual corner. A young lass called Jane (not her real name) was providing the evenings entertainment, regaling the punters with outrageous tales while perched precariously on a bar stool in a most revealing regatta gown. Then, just when all sorts of expectations had reached fever pitch, she announced that she and the boyfriend would be going home on a tandem, he peddling and she supping champagne through a straw while poised on the passenger seat. The occupants of the public bar duly gathered in the car park in disbelief and were not disappointed; having tottered up Aston Hill in pitch darkness, the tandem tumbled into a ditch amid much giggling and gurgling.

The ensuing night passed fitfully, alternating between the dawn chorus and KCs slumberous tones. The look on the Chairmans face at breakfast said it all come back Gilliat, all is forgiven. But, not being ones to bear grudges, KC was invited to join the lunch party at Remenham and after kippers for breakfast we strode out for the regatta in good spirits, notwithstanding the rain. Unfortunately, we were never going to make it in time to see the Cygnet pair perform, but other club members were present and early reports were full of praise with the crew storming ahead past Old Blades, before relinquishing the lead at the Enclosures.

Despite the rain, we had a full complement for the Presidents lunch at Remenham. Nonagenarians George Plumtree and George Walls appeared right on cue and Plumtree treated the Captain and Deputy Captain to the time honoured practice of a pinch of snuff before lunch, something they may not wish to repeat. Lunch began with some gentle banter and a number of toasts, including one to Peter Sly to mark his thirty-year tenure as president. Sly remarked that he had always been good at arithmetic and could only recall nine annual presidents lunches during his long tenure a committee oversight no doubt! He did, however, concede that it had been the least demanding position he had ever held apart from churchwarden.

Shortly after this, our party retired to the club veranda where the Captain announced that it was his birthday and ordered two bottles of port to mark the occasion. Arguably this was the start of the president's downfall, metaphorically speaking of course. By now, the wheels of social intercourse had been generously lubricated and the President made an impassioned speech about the club being like a big family - you either love em or hate em - intoned Sly, with special reference to Wylie and Gilliat. With that, the president ordered a bottle of brandy and downed most of it himself before lurching (literally) into a two-hour slumber.

Later, as our party stood up to take its leave of Remenham, it became clear that the President was (a) legless and (b) the architect of his own misfortunes (well, mostly anyway), to use two time-honoured Cygnet phrases. John Cork, the best boat builder on the river, and your scribe duly had to man handle the President the short distance from Remenham back to his residence, Old Blades. The scene was not unlike that one in the Wind in the Willows where Toad has to be rescued, kicking and screaming, from undesirable company!

Back at Old Blades, we plonked the President down in an armchair where he duly revisited lunch all over the lounge carpet, much to Mrs President and his daughter Prudences dismay. The Chairman being a sensitive, albeit pissed individual signalled that it was time for us to take our leave. As we bade the President farewell, the Chairman said that he hoped he (Sly) had enjoyed the lunch, to which the President replied that he had no memory of the lunch ever taking place. Could this be why the President has been unable to equate the number of presidents lunches with his years in office, we wondered. As it was still pouring with rain, Peter Jeffs whisked the Chairman and your scribe back to the Flower Pot in his pristine Jaguar, an act of faith if ever there was one.

Back at base, the Chairman downed another pint at the bar before shedding his club regalia and hitting the sack. He awoke again at 8pm just as the sun was going down at the end of a very cloudy day. There followed fifteen priceless minutes during which it steadily became clear that the Chairman thought it was Friday morning, a misconception that your scribe was slow to disabuse him of. The Chairman confided that it had been a long night, although it felt surprisingly short, wondered if hed disgraced himself the previous day and observed that it looked like a nice morning. Not until he was tottering back from the shower and thought to peek into the bar did it occur to him that an awful lot of people were drinking beer at breakfast time!

Given this impromptu, but not wholly unexpected, start to the week, readers may be surprised to learn that the remainder of the week notably the 40-year reunion with Benrath and the joint clubs regatta passed off comparatively smoothly. Celebrations at Old Blades on Friday were enlivened by many speeches and giving of gifts, not to mention a visit from Sam Mackenzie, a larger than life character who won Henley many times in the 1960s, and who remains as disrespectful as ever of the Regatta establishment. Perhaps most amazing of all, the President and the Chairman were as immaculately dressed and as garrulous as ever for the remainder of the week: they may not be finely tuned racing machines, but the club is well-served by two marvels of human physiology. And never let it be said that Cygnet cannot organise a piss-up in a brewery, still less a regatta!

Paul Rawkins, 28th August 2005.

Captain's Log, 05/09

Lawks-a-lordy where have all these rowers come from? We couldn't scrape together a racing four for regattas a few weeks ago, now, in our "easy" month of September, I need a really long piece of paper to write down all the names. Can't be bad however, unless they all disappear when I mention races again. So a really busy weekend with an eight, a coxless four and two singles out on Saturday, a coxed and a coxless four, a double and three singles out on Sunday.

The only cloud in an otherwise lovely sunny weekend was an incident that has put the Paul Rawkins out of action. This leaves us with just one coxless four (Richard du Parcq) for a fortnight as the Alan Cox is away in Strathclyde for the FISA masters.

On behalf of the club I'd like to wish Cygnets Neil Jackson, Steve Otterburn and their fellow AK scullers the very best of luck in this international class event.

THIS WEEK:

NEXT WEEK:

Our erstwhile webmaster will be taking a well earned holiday from next weekend so don't expect much from the website for 3 weeks. He's off to 'Nam where I'm sure he'll be wearing his best green vest, a bandana and listening to the Doors a lot.

I'm also going to be away next week at the bungalow so there will be no captain's log either (Hurrah!). Squad nights will continue to be Tuesday and Thursday with land training for the triathlon being the main focus - I shall leave Nick Wyatt in charge if that. The following weekend (17th/18th) is of course Sculling Camp and we'd like to see you down at the bungalow (let Marj know if you can make it). There will be no organised outings that weekend. For all the runners in the club, Pete Leffler has sent me on this link for the Run London series of events.

Enough from me and if you have been, I'm sure your mother taught you not to.

Neil.

Well Done Lorna, 04/09

Just finished watching the womens lightweight quad final on Grandstand and pleased to report that Lorna and her crew won bronze behind Canada and Denmark. Lorna learned to stick her tongue out whilst exerting herself at Barnes Bridge and no doubt she'll be pouring a few lagers down her neck tonight, another skill perfected whilst wearing royal blue hoops. Well done to her!

[Is Tebbers moonlighting at three? - ed.]

Good Luck Lorna, 03/09

Ex-Barnes Bridge Lady Lorna Norris will be competing in the final of the lightweight womens quad in tomorrow's World Champs final in Gifu, Japan. Best of luck to Lorna and her crewmates from all at the Blog. Full results can be found on the World Rowing website. As he will bore...I mean...tell you at the drop of a hat, Gledhill coxed her to her novice win at St. Neots in 2001 - here she is (on the far left of the picture next to Barnes Bridge's own diminutive sex pest).

[I wonder how much chance she would have had of remaining a lightweight if she'd stayed at the Bridge? - ed.]

Also (and unrelated) the latest C2 newsletter is out and here.

EoS Dinner Early Waddle Leak, 31/08

Whispers are already being heard in the Shed and the showers. Here's what we know so far...

Time's Up, 30/08

From Katherine Pugh...

Hello

This year, the Pairs Head of the River Race will take place at