With Christmas upon us next weekend there will be no organised outings. There is also no land training organised for the following week or indeed, outings on the 31st/1st. Word has it however, that an impromptu outing might be on the cards for both Christmas and New Years eves and possibly New Years Day too. The equipment is there so please feel free to use it over the Christmas period, just be safe and sensible please.

Training will recommence next year on Tuesday 3rd with an erg technique session and circuits as usual on Thursday 5th. The first official outings will commence on the 7th and if you've signed up for the HoRR I'll see you at 8.50 on Saturday morning.

Safety tip of the week - if in doubt, don't go out.

Thanks to everyone for all their hard work this year and here's to more of the same in 2006. I'm off for much of Christmas week but will be dropping in regularly to check this email address should anyone need to get hold of me.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to one and all and if you have been, make sure it's nowhere near a Quintin VIII.

Neil.

[By the way, it turns out that the arse below may well belong to our very own ex-Ben Green. Can it be true? - ed.]

Spot The Bum, 19/12

We heard on the grapevine that DUBC has produced a naked calendar for 2006. We also heard that it involved some rather well put together rowing-type girls so (purely in the interests of anatomical enlightenment) off we went to take a look. It was like getting a slap in the face - but could it be true?

The shot on the left is the face. Oh no, hang on. It might be the one on the right? Blast. Now I really am confused!

Elsewhere our very own Mr. Cox was spotted enjoying evening drinks at the recent South of England Coxes Conference. May his Ping Pong Balls never be cracked.

Old Man Touches Small Buoy, 14/12

A belated safety note below followed by an all-new caption competition...

Dear All, 

Please find attached pictures of the two new navigation buoys in situ. I have
also attached a picture that shows the size and lightness of the buoys.

If any of you have any questions or suggestions, please do not hesitate to ask, 

Alexander Brown 
River Project Officer 
Port of London Authority 
Bakers' Hall 
7 Harp Lane 
EC3R 6LB

Now for the latest, greatest caption comp. Send your entries to the usual place...

Captain's Log, 12/12

A coached VIII and a 1x out Saturday with second outings for the Balders farewell invitation IV+. More coaching for the VIII on Sunday with more second outings in sculling boats and the Chairman's invitation VI- putting in yet another showing. That's three in a row for them, some sort of record surely? Gorgeous water and weather for second outings this weekend; good things, it seems, really do come to those who wait (hint).

This Week:

For the uninitiated this is a local "race" for local VIIIs, from the Pink House back to Quintin flag pole. We will have the Bull back by then so could potentially enter two VIIIs or even a mixed boat with BBLRC. I shall assume that if you want a seat in this illustrious event then you will turn up for outings on Saturday, when we will sort out the crews and boating times. If you know that you can't make Saturday but would still like to race then please email me before the weekend and I'll consider your entreaty but Saturday attendees will get precedence. For the record, everyone always cheats and Cygnet usually gets on the podium, unless they cheat a bit too much but Marj has promised to behave this year.

As it's the last weekend before Christmas the captaincy of both clubs thought that it would be rather splendid for everyone to hang around after the race for some beer and socializing. The proposal is that everybody brings some nibbles; roast potatoes, sausage rolls, cake, chips and dips etc.... You know it make sense.

Next Week

Training as usual up to Christmas, with a surprise festive erg on Tuesday rather than those horrid pyramids. There will be a circuit session on Thursday, which will be short and sweet so we can go out for dinner afterwards. Please let me know if you want to come for dinner after circuits next Thursday (22nd) so I can book somewhere. Either email me or let me know at circuits this week.

If you have been, don't start slacking off yet.

Neil.

Finking Time, 11/12

Two lovely mornings at the boathouse with cold clear days and lovely flat water saw the blog out for a quiet scull on Sunday afternoon. As he was overtaken by a couple of girls from UL and an old man from TSS he got to thinking. Here is the result...

BIRC Cygnet Results Analysis

Oh dear!

The Perfect Specimen, 08/12

You decide!

Baghdad Or Bust, 06/12

From our war...erm...peace correspondent...

You know things are getting serious when the government decides to send in 
the "big guns" to sort out the trouble spots of the world.  To that end I 
shall be departing, before Christmas, to take up post as an "Advisor" in a 
country much warmer and sandier than Barnes and beginning with the letter I. 
I'm up north at the moment for a week's pre-deployment training, so don't 
have access to any Cygnet related e-mail addresses other than the two of 
yours. So...

Whilst the length of my deployment is not certain, it's definately longer 
than one month, but less than four.  So, as well as probably not being 
around for the eights head, I would like to buy a Giraffe or two after 
outings on Saturday by way of some informal farewell drinks.  I may even lay 
on some roast potatoes (but probably not of the Aunt Bessies variety).  I 
then plan to meet a few non-rowers in the Dove down by Hammersmith at about 
1830hrs that evening.  Please feel free to join me on an improptu 
Waddle...or to come to the Dove in the evening.

I'd be grateful if you would pass on my invite for an informal drink to 
whoever seems worthy...

...Schmick!

For those of you who weren't in the Scouts and didn't have Action Man the blog is pleased to be able to offer a short military glossary:

Captain's Log, 05/12

Another quiet weekend on the rowing front with just a 4+ and the tub out on Saturday and a 4- on Sunday. However, rather a noisy weekend on the social front with yet another successful Waddle and Ball on Saturday (and quite a lot of Sunday morning!). It appears that everyone enjoyed themselves and we wait with baited breath for all the juicy gossip and embarrassing photos to appear on the club blogs. Already some changes are required to the Top Trumps it seems! Many thanks to Poppy for all her hard work on yet another successful BBLRC Ball.

This week:

I've been asked about the date for the Christmas Puddings but we're still awaiting confirmation. I'll let you know as soon as I do but my money is on the weekend before Christmas.

The Treasurer has asked me to remind you that we do still have a few club all-in-ones left in stock which are cheaper than available via the website. Indeed he even hinted that a small discount might be appropriate to make sure that they are all finally sold. Don't all rush at once.

By the time you read this the Richard du Parcq should be restored to the boathouse but the Alan Cox and bow half of the John Bull will be away for minor repairs.

As mentioned last week, George will be working in and around the boathouse until Wednesday. He's supposed to be there, don't call the police! [And whatever you do don't grass him up to Rod Jane & Freddy - ed.]

Safety tip of the week - three official ones this week.

1) Work has started rebuilding the crumbling lower part of the Putney Town steps. The much needed repairs will occur in two phases, one half at a time, to enable PTRC to continue boating from the steps. The temporary works have shuttering along the sides of the steps and Heras fencing along the top of the closed section of steps. They will also run a rope down the steps to a post at the bottom to mark the extent of the works. The post will have a marker buoy attached. The work which started on Wednesday should be completed within a week. It is always possible that bad weather and tides could stretch it out longer, but even so it's still not expected to last longer than a fortnight. It's unlikely that the work will cause a hazard to navigation but crews in the area should still be cautious at high tide.

2) Please familarise youselves with the contents of the PLA's Notice to Mariner's no U14. After 12th December the PLA are puttting down a couple of new buoys near Barn Elms to try to aid traffic flow (well, lets face it - it is quite difficult to paint white lines on the river). No doubt some of you will be getting snotty about yet more things to run into before they're even in place, but I should point out that this is an experiment being carried out as a result of the Salvage Association Report and has the full support or the TRRC representitives on the Consultation group. Comments will apparently be invited after 6 months, when people have had a chance to see how / whether they work.

3) The Yellow Cage Thing has been on sabbatical at Richmond for the draw off recently, but is returning to the main Tideway on 4th December for a Thames21 clean up at Barnes. Three of the strange yellow contraptions will be situated upstream of Chiswick Pier on the Surrey side. Please keep well clear (which you should be anyway if you're following the navigation rules).

If you have been, it was all Mike and Dave's idea.

Neil.

Final Waddle Timetable, 01/12

To make our transition from pub to bus to Mortlake simpler the final Hammersmith venue has been changed to the Laurie Arms, 238 Shepherds Bush Road. Thanks to Pretty-Boy for this last-minute information. Could he be Mini-Geordie?

Ask Uncle Mike and Auntie Theresa, 29/11

From a concerned BB Lady...

Dear Uncle Mike & Auntie Theresa,

I moved in with a Cygnet on Saturday. On Sunday morning, as I helpfully unpacked his washbag, ready to put his tooth brush, shower gel, fluffy flannel etc on the appropriate bathroom shelf I discovered none of the above, simply a 500ml bottle of baby oil and a can of WD 40. Is this what you generally prescribe to make Cygnets go faster?

Uncle Mike replies...

Dear Concerned BB Lady,

Do not be concerned, your Cygnet is simply storing his bicycle repair kit in his washbag. Cygnet men have long maintained a low environmental footprint by avoiding harmful washing products and laundry powders. For example our very own Goldaman has been using the "hang your one-piece on a hook and it cleans itself" method very successfully for many years, and I am pretty sure that Dr. French David hasn't washed his hair this century. On the plus side, at least you haven't moved in with either of them!

Auntie Theresa replies...

Dear Concerned BB Lady,

Do not be concerned. As they age Cygnet men become more and more incapable of looking after themselves, which is why God invented Barnes Bridge Ladies. Henceforth you will have to purchase all your Cygnet's toiletry needs (you may have to buy his clothes too). If looked after, however, he will reward you with years of faithful service and many humourous, rowing-related stories.

Captain's Log, 28/11

Only one way to start the log this week, with the news of Julian's awesome 27th place in the Scullers Head on Saturday, taking the S4 pennant in the process. Our congratulations to him for a truly superb result. Modest as ever, Julian claims to not have had a very good row - I hate to think how fast he goes when he does! Otherwise only one of our 7 other entries didn't fancy the cold conditions and stayed in bed (I won't say who, as he'll only edit it out when it he put's it up on the blog). The other 6 Cygnets all completed the course with a special mention for Marj who, we believe, was the first female Cygnet to race for the club, certainly in a single scull anyway. Full results here.

Elsewhere, because of the river being closed for the race (and doubtless the cold, windy conditions) just a pair went out early on Saturday morning. Sunday saw a coached novice VIII and a pair out plus the welcome return of The Chairman's Invitation Coxless Four.

The annual boathouse quiz saw a good turnout on Sunday afternoon with (I think) seven teams of 4 scrapping it out for the coveted red, furry thong first prize. The others never stood a chance as "3 Non-Blondes" stormed to victory with a brilliantly played joker in the final (entertainment) round. Many thanks to Tammy for another great quiz, Poppy for the lovely grub and to all the boys who left their pints to wash it all up afterwards.

This week:

Yes, it's time once again for The Waddle. Details are on the blog but all you really need to know is The Black Lion at 15.00, in a DJ, with some beer money. Strict Waddle etiquette will be observed with a whip system and rigid timetable in place. After The Waddle there's some sort of Ball type thingy at Dukes Meadows Golf Club which we could pop along to. Apparently there will be lots of pretty girls in dresses. Or is that girls in pretty dresses? Only one way to find out!

I am away on Saturday morning (works do in St Albans) but hope to be back in time for second outings. Either way, Marj and Stuart are in charge again and yes that does say 8.50. It will also be 9.20 on Sundays too as timekeeping is, frankly, slack at the moment. Compared to most other clubs our outing times are very civilised, generous even, and have been cunningly chosen to coincide with the trains. We will also be getting regular coaching from now on and part of that will include basic stuff like time keeping. We don't make you get up at 6 am so please be at the club promptly or you won't be going out on the water.

Santa Claus at the Boathouse? No it's just my father, George, who will be working in and around the boathouse on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday next week doing all the odd jobs that no-one else has had time to do. No sugar in his, please.

Safety tip of the week - overtaking.

It is up to the overtaking crew to make the manoeuvre safely and responsibly and if that means interrupting a piece then so be it. Never, ever try to overtake a crew that is already overtaking another crew (i.e. don't get three abreast) and avoid overtaking near bridges, crossing points and other "pinch" spots. Take a good look out before overtaking, pass quickly without interrupting the other boat and pull back in once past. Do not undertake. When working the slacks, if a crew is too far out from the bank, politely ask them to move in a little before going around them.

If you're being overtaken you should keep a reasonable distance into the bank (against the tide) or to the right of the fairway (with the tide) and hold your course without bulking the overtaking crew. You are not obliged to slow down although it can be polite to do so.

Once again, if you have any problems with other crews overtaking, please do not get into an argument. Be polite, take their ID number and report back to the captaincy.

If you have been, don't play your joker on a low scoring round.

Neil.

Weekend Bits, 26/11

Bits and bobs of weekend news.

Firstly the good news that the latest C2 newsletter is out at http://www.concept2.co.uk/email/newsletter.htm. Required reading!

Secondly we have been informed of a new BBLRC money-making venture (when ARE they going to start maintaining links with their old members?). This one is a site selling rowing boat lights for night outings. Click the icon below to take a look. There's also a link on our Links page.

Lastly well done to all our intrepid scullers who braved pretty cold conditions and competed in today's Scullers Head. No results are up yet but watch this space.

STOP PRESS: provisional Scullers Head results are now available and (ahem) we seem to have a win!

Lastly all the blog's roving reporters were stuck in their sick-beds over the weekend so any stringers out there who'd like to report on the scullers head, Steve and Helen's drinks, the SGM or the quiz will receive the usual commission, left in the usual place. Can it be true that our subs have now broken the £200 barrier (for non-Civil Servants (or should that be non Civil-Servants?))? What WOULD Wally say?

Locked Away, 23/11

All users of our latest, tastiest single scull should take heed of the note below from Neil...

Further to Sam's vandalism email, I have taken the precaution of padlocking our newest single "Cygnet Friends Reunited" to the rack. The key is pinned to the notice board in the changing room.

Also a final note from Poppy regarding Saturday 3rd December's Snow Ball. Close of play today is the deadline for any more tickets.

Poppy kindly emailed a list of attendees round. We believe she may have obtained a beta copy of Excel 2006. Excel 2006 features massively enhanced data sorting capabilities. Not only can you sort numerically and alphabetically, but now you can sort by "sexiness", "intelligence", "fitness" and "rowing ability". We include the first part of Poppy's list to demonstrate...

Waddle details can be found here.

Vandalism Warning, 22/11

An email from Sam to Captain Neil yesterday evening. Please take a look and take note:

> From: Sam Gourevitch
> Date: November 21, 2005 18:31:38 GMT
> Subject: Vandalism to boats
>
> Dear All,
>
> Late Friday or very early Saturday, vandals threw a coxed 4 and the  
> stern of an 8 into the river. We put them on the trailer on  
> Thursday afternoon in readiness for J15s racing in Cambridge last w/ 
> kend, and they were still there Friday 5:00 PM. Dave Gledhill tells  
> me that Avon, who boated from us for the 4s head, left their boat  
> on a trailer overnight Saturday presumably for the Vets head on the  
> Sunday. This too was thrown in the river. One of the large  
> aluminium dustbins from behind Emanuel has gone missing. We rent  
> these from the council and are liable for their replacement.
>
> Please be aware that vandals seem to be targeting our boathouses.  
> Damaging boats on trailers is unprecendented in my 20+ years at  
> Dukes Meadows and hopefully we won't get any more 'visits'.
>
> I will contacting the police to be sure that we get a regular  
> visits during the night. Beware if you're doing some after-hours  
> training in the bar.
>
> Regards,
>
> Sam Gourevitch

Well, you can tell that the Four's Head is over, just a novice 4+ out on Saturday, with a coach. Outings on Sunday were sensibly cancelled on safety grounds since you couldn't see more than a few yards in the fog. A disappointingly/predictably small turnout for the 2k tests but thanks to the guys that did do it in support of those of us who went up to the BIRC. Personally I didn't cover myself in glory, not even getting a PB, making the classic mistake of letting the adrenalin carry me away in the first half. Hey-ho, you live and learn. Well done to Mike and Noel who also competed and many thanks to Theresa, Marj and Stuart who turned up to cheer us on. Our individual race analysis are on the blog [see below - ed.] with full results here.

This week:

Saturday 26th

Because of the Scullers Head on Saturday the river is closed between 10am and 1 pm. Crews must be off the river by 10am so this will require an 8:30am start on Saturday for anyone wanting to do outings. It may be better this week to pre-arrange crews in order to get out promptly. Just drop me a mail once you have a crew together so I can allocate boats.

Sunday 27th

Please hang around for the SGM at 11:30 as I'm sure that you'd like to know what next years subs will be.

The annual boathouse quiz will take place at 1.30pm starting with lunch. £5 a head. If you haven't got a crew [team - ed.] together yet, time is running out. Crews [teams - ed.] of four or less please and could crews [teams - ed.] please let Poppy know so that she has an ideas of numbers for lunch (poppy [dot] ahern [at] cancer [ dot] org [dot] uk).

Saturday 3rd December

It's only a couple of weeks away and if you want to go to the Snow Ball and haven't booked your ticket, please let Poppy know by Wednesday or you'll be staying at home on you own whilst 70 of your mates have a good time without you. Contact Poppy (email above). Naturally a full Waddle will precede the Ball and details can be found on the blog [scroll down to the 16/11 - ed].

Safety hint of the week.

Winter is firmly upon us as I'm sure that you're all aware and the cold conditions have an impact for us on the water. Please make sure that you've got on extra layers for outings, a hat is more than sensible and leggings are almost essential. Indeed if it's really cold you'll not be allowed on the water without leggings. Remember you can always take a layer off if you get hot but if you're under- kitted there's not much you can do if you do get cold and wet. It only takes a big wash or an equipment failure at Putney and you might have to make it all the way back home wet and/or sitting the boat getting very, very cold in the process. Hypothermia is a genuine concern over the winter so please be prepared - "too much rather than too cold". Also make sure that you have enough dry kit to change into after outings and have a warm showers and a hot drink too. Plenty of warm kit is available here but if you want it in time for Christmas you need to be ordering very soon especially the Cygnet specific stuff.

If you have been, then Birmingham is a long way to go to do it.

Neil.

Monday Monday, 21/11

Some bits and bobs for a Monday morning...

Firstly the latest C2 newsletter is out and can be found here.

Secondly we have it on good authority that Google has just launched a web-based RSS news reader. Amongst other things it'll let you take advantage of that little orange button over there on the top left of the page. You'll need a Google account to use it and all the details can be found at www.google.com/reader. Recommended.

Thirdly why not pain-along-a-Neil-a-Mike-and-a-Noel in the comfort of your own home or office - the race replays are rather fun. Try it with some soothing music in the background. Not too bad is it?

Pain-along-a-Neil Pain-along-a-Mike Pain-along-a-Noel

Flirty Incompetence, 16/11

We at the blog are chuckling quietly to ourselves as we enjoy a very illuminating book called Watching the English by Kate Fox. One paragraph in the Sex chapter particularly caught our eye:

...I found that the level of flirtatious behaviour among members of amateur English sports teams or hobby-clubs tends to be inversely related to the standards achieved by participants and their enthusiasm for the activity. With some exceptions, one tends to find a lot of flirting among incompetent tennis players, unfit hill-walkers, cack-handed painters and tangle-footed dancers...

Uncoordinated rowers?

Early B.B.L.R.C.W.A.D.D.L.E, 16/11

Xmas Waddle details are slowly emerging, initial plans are outlined below but watch this space for updates. We shall, without the aid of a safety net, be attempting the impossible. B.B.L.R.C. in pub names. Times and locations will be as follows: [Details removed. See 01/12 above - ed.]

This Waddle is brought to you by Israel-Collier Associates Inc. Synchronise those watches...

Captain's Log, 14/11

Despite the best efforts of The Fickle Hand of Fate to stick a spanner in the works over the last month, five Cygnet crews did finally manage to take to the water on Saturday and complete the grueling 4.25 miles of the Fours Head in near perfect racing conditions. True to form, we didn't come last, with full results and photos to be found at here. As we all know however, the real test of the Fours Head is in the bar afterwards where the only damaged Pride was of the brown liquid variety - whole firkin and a polypin's worth of damage to be precise. Thirsty beasts those giraffes.

A slightly delicate coxed four did manage to make it afloat on Sunday morning but on balance [sic.] perhaps a lie-in might have been more beneficial.

Cygnet were represented by just one crew in the much more relaxed and convivial Vets Fours Head on Sunday They returned in good spirits and were last seen reliving the glory, stroke by stroke, in the company of a yet another thirsty giraffe.

THIS WEEK

Oh yes, that does say 2k erg test. Just because Mike and I are the only ones to have entered the BIRC it doesn't mean that the rest of you can get off that lightly. I will be away all weekend so outings will be left in the capable hands of Marj and Stuart with Dave French running the erg tests. Before or after outings it doesn't matter just post a score please.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

With the fours head out of the way it's time to re-group and refocus and there is all to play for. I'm looking at a few other small boat heads between now and Christmas but I'd like to start experimenting with HoRR crews in the new year. We are without three very strong and experienced oarsmen from last year's first eight so need to get crews training together as early as possible. We will be aiming to to have a first and a second eight (Rather than one senior and one novice eight as rumoured) and places in both boats will be dependent on fitness, commitment to training, erg scores and input from coxes and coaches. Like I say, all seats are up for grabs so there's all to play for, starting with a little 2k test on Sunday. Beautiful.

COMING UP

Sunday 27th November. There will be a very brief SGM at 11.30 after outings to vote in the new subs for next year then I know that you'll all be hanging around for the 2nd annual joint club quiz starting with lunch at 1.30. Start putting your quiz crews (of four) together.

Saturday 3rd December. The BBLRC Snow Ball preceded by a B.B.L.R.C. waddle, which is already at the very advanced planning stage. Please let Poppy know if you'd like to go to the ball (don't tell her if you'd rather just do the waddle). Snow Ball details available on both club's websites.

If you have been, let's hope you weren't wearing green and gold.

Neil.

Four, 14/11

A very exciting weekend. Our beer and wine correspondent reports...

I thought you might be interested to discover how much alcohol was
consumed in our bar on Saturday (approximate values):

120 pints of Fullers London Pride (that would be 20 Giraffes)
80  bottles of San Miguel
50  bottles of Leffe
45  bottles of Smirnoff Ice
10  pints of Fullers Chiswick
6   bottles of White Wine
1   bottle of Vodka
1   bottle of Killerpitsch
1   bottle of Gin
A few glasses of that repulsive Latvian rubbish donated to the bar by Wyatt

...how impressive - we feel sure future results will fully reflect all this training. Also our fashion correspondent [with own shrug - ed.] reports on some humourous penalties awarded by the race umpires during the race...

38  CURLEW I                   Disqualified Foul 
62  UNIV OF LONDON BC I    10s Traffic violation 
102 RGS WORCESTER II        5s Impeding 
117 LONDON RC VIII         10s Abusive language 
206 MOLESEY BC VII         10s Obstruction 
214 CAMBRIDGE UNIV VI      10s Obscenity 
236 READING UNIV II        10s Abusive language 
250 NEPHTHYS IV            10s Baulking at start 
276 NOTT'M & UNION IV          Disqualified dangerous behaviour marshalling
325 VESTA IX               10s Two instances of obstruction
329 UNIV OF LONDON WBC III  5s Obstruction
351 LATYMER UPPER V        10s Baulking at Mile post 
413 CURLEW IV               5s Traffic violation 
465 OSIRIS III             10s Baulking

...isn't baulking what you do with the white ball when playing safe in a frame of snooker, and what exactly is a traffic violation? Were we on a red route?

Body's Aching All The Time, 11/11

No sooner do we advertise rec.sport.rowing than the good people who use the newsgroup set it ablaze with a hard-core discussion of Jaffa Cakes. We particularly like the scientific definitions of a cake and a biscuit.

Also this is rather "fun" and perhaps explains Wyatt Minor's obsession with (for example) Fat Bottommmed Girls? You might like to take a look at Row2k's worst ergo music page too.

Come On Keep Up, 10/11

First a quick update from our North of England correspondent in Durham. We have it on good authority that Simon "" French is going a bit faster in his single these days and actually won the novice 1x category in the recent Tees Long Distance Sculls. Hardly of interest to us (I hear you cry) however I would argue that (a) he has paid his sub until the end of the year so is still technically a Cygnet, and (b) he raced in our Lycra as his picture on this site will testify. Interestingly it's image 20d_13142 [although we prefer 20d_13139 on the right, what is he up to? - ed.].

He will be retiring the lycra in tribute!

On a completely different note just the usual reminder that to keep completely up-to-date on all the latest rowing news, gossip, humour and discussions you should regularly check New Rowing Information, The Tideway Slug and Rec.Sport.Rowing. Links for all 3 are always available over to the left under Friends.

Working's for losers.

Captain's Log, 08/11

This weekend started badly. We almost had the whole fleet back and ready for the 4s Head only for a (surely blind?) white van man to drive into one of the (huge white) boats (complete with big piece of red tape) whilst being trailered back from the boat builders. Aaaaaargh! The poor old Richard Du Parcq is once again back at the boat builders but won't be ready for the Head. However the quad crew now have a nice shiney Sims to race in courtesy of Thames Tradesmen.

Otherwise a successful and busy weekend with the 4s head crews, accompanied by coaches, out on the river and in the tank. Looking forward to some good racing next weekend and seeing 5 Cygnet crews on the river.

THIS WEEK:

Saturday - HoR 4s

There won't be any organised outings on Saturday because of the 4s Head but if you're not racing (is there anyone left?) please come down anyway. It's quite a sight and there is always something to do, your help and support would be much appreciated. Also be aware that there will be a lot of visiting crews boating from us and many people using the boathouse. Please make sure that your personal belongings, particularly your valuables, are safely out of the way.

APPEAL: Our own Nick Wylie is the Chief Marshall for the 4s Head and is still short of launch drivers. If anyone can help out with marshaling please contact nickjwylie [at] aol [dot] com as soon as possible. Full instruction and refreshments are provided for all volunteers.

There will, of course, be the usual post-race party at the boathouse and with two giraffes now fully operational in the bar and a firkin of Pride who knows what could happen?

Sunday - Vets 4s Head

9.30 outings as usual. Please be prompt as we have to be off the water and cleared away before the Vets 4s head. We have one crew entered for this so if you can hang around and support that would be great.

Time keeping.

Speaking of being prompt, outing times are on the water times. Please make an effort to be at the boathouse before 9.00 (Sat) or 9.30 (Sun) so that you can get blades and boats sorted out. Plenty of time for tea and conversation after or between outings.

More outings.

Once the 4s Head is over I'd like to encourage people to get out for second outings. We will mostly go out in eights and fours but would like to encourage second outings in smaller boats or sculling boats before the headlong rush to the bar. This is a rowing club after all.

House keeping.

It does seem that people are making a bit more of an effort on the keeping the kitchen clean front, many thanks and keep it up.

Circuits.

If you're a regular at circuits and haven't cooked already please volunteer and put your name on the list in the kitchen. It's doesn't have to be gourmet and yes I know that there's only been one BB lady cook so far but dinner can't happen if no-one cooks it!

If you have been, avoid the A316.

Neil.

New Concepts Too, 06/11

The latest Concept 2 newsletter can be found here.

Higher Faster Longer, 04/11

Nuff said...

Flowering Poppy, 04/11

We have it on good authority that BBLRC's own Soc. Sec. won a highly prestigious marketing award in London's West End last night. A huge Cygnet shout goes out to her [we are currently experimenting with keeping it real - ed.]. Lots more information can be found at the end of this link and the following from Pretty-Boy Naylor who is currently trying not to puff out his chest (too much)...

Last night Poppy won a really big National Marketing Award at posh-doo
on Park Lane. The award was for 'Best use of e-mail' and it was against all the
huge advertising and marketing agencies, so it was good for little old
Cancer Research to win.

Freedom To Blog, 04/11

Well the new webmaster of the BBLRC website is making himself very busy at the moment. Two updates in one week is almost unheard of and he is already making communicating points through the medium of [Dr. Evil voice on] "humour" [Dr. Evil voice off] and without the use of a safety net.

Check out their diary as soon as possible as there's some quite good stuff on it at the moment which may be coming off soon due to their slightly dictatorial management style (resistance IS useless).

You can go quickly to the BBLRC website whenever you like by clicking the BBLRC link over on the left under Friends (we use Friends in its most ironic sense here). To be honest they could use the hits.

Giraffe II The Reckoning, 03/11

We at the blog have been shopping on your behalf. Having been trusted with £40 of the bar stewards rent mone...erm...turnover we have been instructed to order a 2nd giraffe for the bar.

It arrived at blog-central earlier today but there seems to have been some kind of mix up with the order. Instead of delivering an exact duplicate of the one currently in our bar those dopey people at www.drinkstuff.com seem to have sent a BIGGER one, with FLASHING LIGHTS and a REFRIGERATION feature.

Oh dear.

Past Blast, 03/11

Some people have suggested that an occasional blast-from-the-past might be a good idea (we have 4-years worth of great stuff accumulating on the website now).

So how about a remembrance of sculling camps been and gone. Alan started them up, Chris carried the torch magnificently and Stu is now learning the ropes to enthuse a whole new generation of Cygnet & BBLRC, erm, oarspeople.

The pictures below will take you to back in time to 2002, 2003 and 2004. Enjoy...

Food has always been a major feature at the sculling camp and there are some great barbecue and picnic shots in the 3rd link above. It looks almost good enough to eat!

You Never Leave, 03/11

Oh the irony, all Ben and Simon did whilst at Cygnet was jabber on about Durham, Durham, Durham. Now Simon's back there he finds himself unwittingly doing Cygnet's ergo test. We'll keep the RGB warm for you mate...

Mike,
 
Saw the banter on the blog; we also do this in the big D (albeit capped at 20),
latest is 8345m. I think that puts Mr French (jr.) in 2nd place.... 
 
Best wishes and lots of love 
 
Frenchie

I for one do not miss those sloppy, wet, Saturday morning kisses!

While we're on the subject of fun-and-games in the RGB here's a photo-finish shot of the boys last years Nat. Champs. final from last summer. I just came across it this morning. :-)

Quiz Tastic, 02/11

From our esteemed Soc. Sec...

Advance notice of the annual BBLRC quiz - Sunday 27th Nov, 1pm at the boathouse. (Q1) Will you be there?

It doesn't matter whether you know (Q2) the correct name for a baby shark or not. Turn up, pit your wits against Barnes Bridge and Cygnet's finest minds (relatively speaking), and get fed. All for a mere £5. (Q3) Does it get any better than that?

Teams of 4, and entries need to go to socialsecretary [at] bblrc [dot] com with the name of the team and its members.

You'd be a fool to miss it / if you're a fool you ought to give it a miss [delete as applicable].

Answers: (Q1) yes; (Q2) a baby shark is a PUP (interestingly, a baby giraffe is known as a HALF-PINT); (Q3) no.

Getting Old With Dignity, 02/11

Nothing like kicking a man when he's down. We include the following email exchange in full just so you can see what kind of a man French David (our very own Soc. Sec. [sic.] really is)...

-----Original Message-----
From: Mike Collier
Sent: 02 November 2005 9:37 AM
To: French David
Subject: 30 minutes blind, etc...

David,

Just wanted to congratulate you on your blinding erg score last night.
You are an asset to the club and if you ever wanted to run for captain you'd
certainly get my vote.

Well done.

w/Rgds, Mike.

...what a lovely thing to do, so selfless and encouraging. Imagine poor Mike's face when he received the following diatribe from French David a few minutes later...

Mike,

A few points...

1)  We in the 2nd wave kept time like a metronome, and if anything had
trouble raising it above 23spm for the last 10 mins (I suspect because we
were too busy laying on raw slabs of refined power).

2)  I'm deeply suspicious of your improvement of a 35 whole metres, since
you're at the stage where erg times tend to show a relentless downward
trend.  Despite such desperate measures as installing one in your bedroom -
you have to actually do some training on it as well (very regularly updated
website, by the way).

3)  Had I been in your wave, I would have sat next to you.  Had I sat next
to you, I would have been at least 1 pip faster than you anyway
(French-Collier Industry Standard). 

4)  Back to the facts.  I was 1st last night.  You were 4th.  Fourth.  One,
two, three, fourth.  Let's put this is into a little bit more context:

        i)   Neither Frenchy nor Ben were there last night (otherwise you
             would have been sixth);
        ii)  Two of those who beat you are Novices;
        iii) One of those who beat you can't even erg properly (and as soon
             as he learns, I certainly won't be 1st any more...);
        iv)  None of those who beat you own their own erg;
        v)   None of those who beat you could be found drinking from a
             Giraffe minutes after the completion of their erg test.

French David.
Country Relief Action Plan Section (C.R.A.P.S.)

We have it on good authority that poor Mike is inconsolable. He is also slightly bemused by point ii) above as he was under the impression that only one was a novice, although perhaps French David is referring to the fact that, although he has 2 points, he is still "technically a novice".

[Please note that Mike's original email above was sent to the blog offices by Mike himself and we cannot guarantee its authenticity. If we were betting men we might say that it looked more like the following - ed.]

-----Original Message-----
From: Mike Collier
Sent: 02 November 2005 9:37 AM
To: French David
Subject: 30 minutes blind, etc...

David,

Just wanted to make it clear that I am DEEPLY suspicious of the 150m 
improvement in your score last night.

It's important to remember that not doing your test in the same wave as the 
other seniors means that we cannot guarantee that you took exactly as many 
strokes as us.

Imagine the situation where we all rowed at 20spm but my group was rowing 
nearer to 19 and yours nearer to 21.  That would give you somewhere between 
20 and 30 extra strokes over 30 minutes which would equate to roughly 200 to

300 extra metres.  Of course the opposite could be true - but I don't think 
so.

In short I'm afraid you have to do it next to us for it to count.

Anyway, can't chat - have to order another giraffe.

w/Rgds, Mike.

Frightfully Important, 31/10

We at the blog are pretty sure that you will now have read and inwardly digested the Captain's THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ email of earlier today. Whilst we agree that safety is of paramount importance we couldn't help noticing a couple of stand-out sentences:

"Websites will be improved to make the information easier to find." - harrumph!

...but this has to be our personal favourite...

"There will be a requirement for all coxswains, steersmen and scullers to be certified." - and with these regs. we're going to need to be.

The commute from Shenley is probably do-able if you escape early enough!

Captain's Log, 31/10

A very busy weekend saw Cygnet on the water in force with four fours, a pair and a single out on Saturday and four fours on Sunday despite the horrible high winds. So many willing oarsman, is there a race coming up? Thanks to Alan Cox for his time on Saturday and to Tom Dawes, Simon's little [sic.] brother from IC Medics who coached the novice boat on Sunday.

THIS WEEK

BEGINNERS SCULLING POD

As the tide is right, Mike has offered to coach/lead a novice sculling pod one day this weekend [SATURDAY - ed.] after usual outings at about 11.30. Interested? Contact Mike.

FOURS HEAD

Fours head crews may, of course, arrange their own outing times as they prefer. Last chance for practice outings this weekend! Both of our damaged coxless fours will be back from the repair man this weekend so the following applies:

KIT

BIRC

Absolutely the last chance to apply for this is today, on-line.

HOUSEKEEPING

Pretty good so far, well done, but please make a paticular effort to clear up after yourselves in the kitchen. Thanks.

The Boathouse Chairman has ask for a willing volunteer to descale the showers please. Form an orderly queue outside Mr Leffler's office please.

VERY IMPORTANT

I will be sending out another mass email shortly which will doubtless be very boring to some of you but is actually very,very important to the future of rowing on the Tideway. Boring or not please take time to read it throughly.

If you have been, then put it in the dishwasher afterwards.

Neil.

Four Draw, 31/10

"Spookily" the draw for the upcoming Head of the River Fours is now up on their official website. It looks like all 5 Cygnet and 3 BBLRC crews are in. You'll find a link to the site (and draw) on our links page, under Heads.

More Head Charles II, 28/10

Aha, a "proper" Cygnet doing this truly world-class event as it should be done. From Matt, our beer & wine correspondent...

Whilst you're doing Head of the Charles Regatta news ...

An (ex-Cygnet) Simon Blackburn-powered sctatch Black Prince championship VIII came a respectable 39th in Champ VIIIs, behind Cambridge, Holland, Italy, etc. http://www.hocr-timing.org/results/56.htm.

On the other hand, the scratch Black Prince club VIII, handbraked by me, came 50th in Club VIIIs, behind such luminaries of the rowing world as Caius (Cambridge), Abingdon schoolboys 2nd VIII, Hild Bede (Durham), and the strangely named* "Wide Load BC" http://www.hocr-timing.org/results/13.htm.

On the wildlife front, Black Prince did see some Giraffes in the area and a veritable herd of the creatures were grazing on our table on Sunday evening, but the natives insisted on referring to them as "über-towers."

Lady Plug, 28/10

Just a quick plug for the newly revamped BBLRC website. Child-like in its simplicity [hardly surprising given its new webmaster - ed.] it does however contain one or two nice touches. We particularly like the Facilities page, the Kit Locker now boasts some fantastic catalogue-model shots and the diary has been updated - but not much. We shall see...

Head Of The Charles, 25/10

[Our American correspondent reports on the Head of the Charles (quite long but worth the read and you weren't doing anything else were you?) - ed.]

> Wednesday 7:10am, Heathrow - "Sir, we can't allow your fiance to check
> in as her passport is not scan-able as is required for entry to the US.
> She will have to get a new one before travelling to the US!" Flight
> taking off in 75 minutes. Shit. Head back to Chiswick, off to emergency
> passport office. 3 hours later, and much beaurocratic arsing about
> later, US-worthy passport for fiance in hand. Back to Heathrow for  
> next flight to New York.
>
> 4:30pm - Flight delayed. Mother with 3 cranky toddlers in seats ahead
> not doing well. Dis-interested father seems keen to watch the rain
> collect on the window. "can three children cry non-stop for 8 hours?".
> Close, they managed 4 hours, then all asleep mid scream. Bless.
>
> 8pm US, Arrive New York. Decide to save a little cash on accomodations.
> JFK Inn, a 'nice' place, where strobe lights are available for rent at
> the front desk, and two of the walls in each room are fully mirrored.
> Strange, un-identifiable smell in the room.
>
> Thursday, Bus to Boston, head straight to Union Boat Club. No one there
> to rendezvous. Shit. I eventually get into the clubhouse, and a gym
> like this I have never seen, polished wooden floors, real old school.
> Felt like I was back in UK, in Oxford. Got into a hot-rod borrowed
> Empacher and did a sortie on the Charles course. Felt dead, could not
> get above a 24. Shit. Boat felt heavy, vortex edged C2 blades felt
> clunky. This is going to be ugly.
>
> Friday morning, turn up to the greeting of the club president who
> offers me the use of his single - lighter than the one I was offered
> thus far. Both being Empachers, decisiveness was not happening. Faffed
> around for nearly 2 hours before finally decided exactly which blades
> to use. About another hour before deciding which boat to race in. Went
> out for a 2nd sortie. Still feeling sore and heavy. Jet-lag is a tough
> opponent. Top tip from a little experiment I did Friday night to
> decrease the soreness/achiness - massage and ice pack - worked like
> magic, life-saver. I am sure there is science to it, like blood
> circulation increase, etc.
>
> Saturday - RACE DAY - race time was perfect, 13:15, so body felt like
> it was rowing in the evening UK time. Much colder, much windier. Final
> tinkering. Warm-up. Mis-judged time needed to get to the start from the
> boathouse. panic. It is so great to launch from a real boathouse with
> real toilets at a big race. No fussing with porta-loos for last minute
> slashes. No queue for the dock, just go. And good thing. I arrived at
> the starting line with the race already started..... but starting 2nd
> to last, 55th has it advantages. Got a little nod from a Tideway
> Sculler starting a few spots ahead.
>
> ...and we're off. #56 catches a crab behind me and nearly flips. See ya
> boss. #54 next up, snuck inside him and #53 in the sweeping first turn
> to bow. but after that, I was all alone. Nice thing about having a
> local club's blades - you get loads of unexpected support! Nice thing
> about having a friend who plays the bag-pipes show up to support - you
> get very interesting and inspirational support.
>
> I finished 7th, which is auto entry for next year and means i'll be 2nd
> starting position instead of 55th, as the top 5 are forced to graduate
> to the open division. Had a decent row. another repeat of pairs head.
> consistent, but nothing outlandish. this thing is win-able no question
> about it.
>
> ...this course is so twisty. you burn up your body going full pressure on
> one side to make some of the turns! i was well in contention until the
> last half according to the split times, but fell off on the big final
> bend so i know where i need to concentrate on for next year!
>
> See you on the Tideway very soon....
>
> Finally, after a 12 hour bus ride from boston, i have reached casa
> Kinal. Nice to be home!
>
> I have to say that shaking off jet lag is quite difficult before a big
> race, i have some tips for next year.
>
> 1. make sure that your or your significant other's British or other
> passport is the new scannable type required for entry to the US.
>
> 2. If forced to take later flight than planned...
>    2.1 Fly into boston not New York, to then have to take a bus to boston.
>    2.2 Upon arrival in JFK, decide to spend a little more on hotel than  
>        the JFK Inn in which each room has two walls covered in mirrors.
>
> Julian

[What does he mean tips for next year? - ed.]

Anyway a big well done to Julian from all at the blog for his performance in this world class event. The blog has some Cygnet-style top-tips for Julian for next year...

If The Boot Fits, 25/10

[The following has been received from our fashion correspondent. He gets a bit fiery, but is basically harmless - ed.]

Are you fed up with never being able to find a pair of wellies for your outing? Annoyed because the boots are all too small 'cos the girls have nicked all the big ones again? Well our in-house Kit Tart is here to help you with a recipe guaranteed to get you the boots you deserve.

Hi kids, here's a really simple way to boot heaven:

Next week Kit Tart will be showing Andy how to find some zinc oxide tape and get it to the boathouse so he can use it for outings. He'll also be helping Iain solve his conundrum as to why his favorite wellies are always back in the pile when he knows that he always leaves them in the middle of the changing room floor after every outing.

Dave, 24/10

We at the blog were having a quiet cup of tea and taking a look at what our friends had to offer on their websites. Imagine our surprise when following the link to the BBLRC site we found, not the elaborate royal blue text and pictures we are used to, but just the single expletive - DAVE.

If you're quick you might catch it too. What does it mean? Watch this space.

Damn! It's gone (but it was a beautiful thing while it lasted). Now we are going to be treated to a BIG reconstruction. Some free IT advice for whoever is doing the update (DAVE) - for that professional touch do your reconstruction off-line and then upload when happy.

Alternatively simply add a professional.

Captain's Log, 24/10

A very busy weekend off the water saw the annual Cygnet Veterans lunch at Leander and the Putney Town Phoenix Party on Saturday with the Pairs Head Prize Giving at the club on Sunday.

Record numbers at the vets lunch this year with 50 guests eagerly awaiting my maiden captain's speech, what other reason could there have been for such a good turnout? Nick Mullins, the BBC commentator, said a few words as well and joined us in Ye White Hart for a couple afterwards. He has also threatened to join the club! We shall see. Against their better judgement the captaincy, ex-captain and bar steward, pushed on to Putney Town, intending to advance inter-club relations, arriving just in time for the beer to run out! Never going there again - no beer, no giraffe, rubbish.

Sunday saw a few hangovers, 2 fours and a pair out followed by the Pairs Head Prize Giving Ceremony. Thanks to everyone that helped out, it all went very well.

THIS WEEK:

HEAD RACING:

COMING UP:

CONGRATULATIONS:

[Spectacular result! Full details can be found on the Head of the Charles website. Take a look at 2005 Regatta, Results, Event 8M Club Singles Men - ed.]

AND FINALLY:

If you have been, make sure there's a club logo on it.

Neil.

Weekend Fun, 23/10

Lots going on in and around the boathouse over the weekend. Saturday saw the annual Vets Lunch at Leander (Henley) with a record attendance of around 50 members and friends. All who attended reported quaffable wine, delicious food and entertaining speeches from the captain and Nick Mullins of the BBC.

Sunday saw the boathouse a hive of activity as BBLRC mobilized all their top guns to cater (and host) the Pairs Head prizegiving. Lorna Norris (ex-BBLRC and current GB sculler) was on hand to present the prizes and the event organizer went to great lengths to thank members from Cygnet and BBLRC for all their help on the day. When the blog left the boathouse mid-afternoon members of both clubs were just embarking on their 4th giraffe of beer (that's 24 pints in old money) and were polishing off the last of the sausage rolls.

I'm sure many of us will have received our e-vites to the BBLRC Snow Ball in December. You'll be pleased to hear that plans are well advanced for the accompanying Waddle. This time we're going to attempt the impossible and spell B-B-L-R-C in pub names. The "L" is proving troublesome. Can you help?

Entered the British Indoor Rowing Champs yet? Why not? Do it here and make your club proud. Apart from anything else there'll be a lot of squad rowers there and it's nice to see where all your lottery money goes. For all single Cygnets it's also a GREAT place to meet young, fit, university-type rowing ladies. No, it really is.

Today's BBLRC recipe tip. To make a simple, yet tasty tomato dip for corn tortillas simply squirt some ketchup in a bowl and serve.

Stiff Card, 21/10

Dr. French [you know, the one with the younger, fitter, more handsome brother - ed.] has added a few Blind Cards entries into the mix...

What do you think? Can YOU do better?

Also we have been sent this rather interesting photo of the "seated queueing scheme" on Dukes Meadows prior to the Pairs Head - so we are also running a caption competition here at the Blog. First prize is a sculling masterclass with Stu "Funky" Gibbons, second prize is two sculling masterclasses with Funky, third prize...etc.

We Stand On Guard For Thee, 20/10

A very interesting note from our honourable Soc. Sec. who appears to be pulling birds from the Colonies as well as at home. Marcia, if you ever read this, we have pasted a likeness of David on the right so you can make up your own mind.

We at the blog particularly like paragraph 2; and the fact that Marcia has chosen to place "social secretary" in ironic quotes. How does she know?

-----Original Message-----
From: A Canadian Rower
Sent: 16 October 2005 10:08 PM
To: French David
Subject: "Social" Query from an overseas rower

Hello

If anyone could help, I though it would be your club's 'social
secretary'....I hope you don't mind me emailing you directly.

I am a member of the Argonaut Rowing Club in Toronto, Ontario
*www.argonautrowingclub.com - warning: our site sucks compared to Cygnet RC*
and came across your club during a search for information relating to the
Oxford/Cambridge Boat Race.

I'm contemplating a trip to London around the time of the the race next year
and tho' there is some information found online for 'spectators', I thought
I'd ask a rower for their opinion on the best place to watch or at least
enjoy the atmosphere. The Blue Anchor pub is highly recommended but I'd need
to be there super early in the day...perhaps watch from a particular bridge
closer to the end of the race...? 

Any assistance / comments would be appreciated.

Best of luck with the rest of your racing season.

Thanks, Marcia.

"Quasimodo" French has agreed to reply, letting her know that (obviously) the best place to watch is in our boathouse lounge, drinking our beer [possibly from a giraffe - ed.], legging it up the steps, getting drenched by the wash, then back down again!

On a completely different note Pretty-Boy Naylor has sent in a few suggestions for our "blind cards" competition (see Carded 19/10 below):

Note his pathetic use of Mr. & Dr. for his bum-chums on the committee while the rest of us get treated like turds, and shouldn't he be studying for his accountancy exams anyway?

Keep sending 'em in...

Carded, 19/10

I'm sure we all agree that the captain has come up with some particularly fiendish Tuesday ergo tests. Last night's involved doing 30 minutes "blind", that is with the machine's screen covered so that only the spm and elapsed time were visible. In order to accomplish this he had prepared a small square of card to stick over each display. Printed on each card was a useful hint (or tip) intended to aid each oarsman as he progressed through the test. For example mine [whoever I am - ed.] said "Pull Harder", neglected to say "You F*ck*r", and completely got on my "t*ts".

However this has got us thinking about appropriate motivational ergo sentences for various members of the club. For example...

Can you do better? Send them to "webmaster [at] cygnet-rc [dot] org [dot] uk" and we'll see if we can come up with a prize.

New Concept To Discuss, 19/10

The latest C2 newsletter can be found here. Amongst other things you can get a copy of this year's BIRC poster (what do you mean you haven't entered yet?), and read all about RowLogs [which are not what we do prior to weekend outings - ed.]. Go on, give it a try.

Captain's Log, 17/10

A glorious weekend bought the competitors and the supporters out in force for a very successful Pairs Head of the River. Sandwiches were filled, cake consumed, tea sold, boats marshaled, numbers distributed and giraffes of ale enjoyed. So successful was the giraffe in fact, that the bar ran out of beer! What genius thought of getting one of those? Oh yes, there were some boats racing on the river too...

Cygnet were represented by 2 1/2 crews and both the doubles put in a good showing with a composite of Chris Jillings and Jane Gotts (Deben RC) coming 4th in the mixed S3 2x (14:10). Julian and Noel came a highly commendable 3rd in the S4 2x (13.12) - a very worthwhile result after all their dedicated training over the last 4 months, with only Thames and IC finishing ahead of them. At the other end of the spectrum, and in true Cygnet style, your Captain and former Vice Captain decided to see if the old magic was still there entering an effectively scratch Senior 3 pair and registering a surprisingly good 8th from 22 S3 starters (14.22). Full results and photos here .

A big thanks from me and the Pairs Head Committee to everyone that stayed and made themselves useful on Saturday. These events are only possible thanks to the efforts of all the volunteers.

We also did some regular rowing this weekend, with two fours and a coach going out on both Saturday and Sunday.

THIS WEEK:

Having spoken with Greg he has advised a slight change to land training. It would be better to do weights on a Monday rather than a Wednesday evening so that will be the plan from now on. Remember that the ladies will be erging on Mondays so please be considerate.

SATURDAY:

It's the Vets lunch at Leander on Saturday and if you're quick you may still just be able to book a place. Contact Phil Beckett if you'd like to go. Otherwise there is a party at Putney Town RC that we're all invited to on Saturday afternoon. This is to celebrate 10 years of the new PTRC boathouse. Open to all friends of Putney Town (yes we are) - friends and family welcome. Details are attached [were attached - ed.] and also posted in the boathouse. Let Ben know if you intend to go, I'll be along later.

SUNDAY:

Pairs head prize giving from 12.30 at the boathouse. All welcome, nay encouraged, to stay after outings for drinks and nibbles and the chance to mix it up with some really good rowers and the latest intake of novice BB Ladies.

VETS FOURS HEAD:

Aged 27 or over? Then you too are elegable for the Vets Fours head. It's the Sunday after the Fours Head (13/11). If you haven't already please let me know if you're interested in competing.

OTHER EVENTS:

Good luck to Julian and Greg both of whom are off to the US this week to compete in the Head of the Charles and congratulations to Pete and Noel both of whom competed in the Nike 10k on Sunday.

SAFETY:

I'm sure that you're all aware of the unpleasant events that occurred on Barnes Common last week. Please take care getting about now it's dark, especially if you're out running. Try not to run alone and please offer to escort the Ladies to their cars or across the bridge after training.

Too much already. I shall stop. If you have been, try it from a giraffe next time.

Neil.

Right Pairs, 17/10

A big well done to the 2 Cygnet and 1 Cygnet/Deben composite crews racing in last Saturday's Pairs Head. Noel and Julian managed a magnificent 3rd in S4 2x. Chris and Neil were 8th in S3 2- and Chris and Jane (Deben RC) came 4th in Mixed S3 2x. Great results from all 3 crews.

Lots more pictures can be found on the BigBlade and Eliot George websites.

BBLRC Social Thanks, 17/10

See below for Poppy's thank-you to all who helped out during Saturday's Pairs Head afternoon. Once again our two clubs were involved from top to bottom and back to front through the day - a real joint effort [in everything but sharing the proceeds, obviously - ed.].

Just wanted to say a massive THANK YOU to all those who helped with the catering efforts on Saturday - we've made just over £500 profit which is fantastic news - one of the most successful days ever (despite an exploding tea-urn). Particular thanks to Andy, Claire, Es and Rhiannon for their help with the preparations; Nick, Stu and Matt for lugging things around for me; and of course to Jo, Katy, Lou, Lindsay, Tamlyn, Kerren, Annabelle, Mary, Tammy, Es, Carolyn and Theresa for their excellent skills on the stall. Tamlyn deserves a special mention for her efforts behind the bbq - I don't think anyone managed to cross the hard without being sold a bacon buttie! Finally, our next challenge is the Fours Head on November 12th where I'm hoping we'll be equally successful. However, I'm going to need some help with this one - with impeccable timing I've got my exams and am moving house in the 4 days leading up to this so I'm going to need someone else to take charge. Cheers, Poppy.

Schotts, 12/10

First things first, this year's all-new ergo test xls can be found on our ergo page. Nowhere to run, etc.

Secondly you might like to listen to this, sent in by our security correspondent. And I quote...

There I was google-whacking for some top tips on steering the Tideway and squeezing those last few vital seconds out of the boat when stumbled across this. (I know - it's the rock'n'roll lifestyle I lead - and maybe actually doing some fitness might squeeze even more vital seconds out, but hey hum!). If you listen to it, the Boat has turned and starts the 'paddle' to the start line at about the 13 min mark, crossing the start line some 15 seconds later. So, could it be that "Pull Harder You F**ker" really is a world-class call? (But of course, as we all know, it should really be "Push Harder you F**cker" because "Study winning crews and you'll see that quick, strong, continuous leg drive is essential for success" - "Rowing Faster", 2005).

Winter Training Be-eeyore-gins, 12/10

Fully kitted-out in his brand new, snuggally winter coaching coat, assistant-to-the-deputy-chief-Cygnet-coach Medium Mike Collier prepares to instruct the first outing of the winter season. What could go wrong?

Lost In Translation, 11/10

Here's the full German newspaper story from our revered deputy captain...

...to translate the German slightly more competently, here are the
sections talking about Cygnet, in half-competent English:

"Oats and Guinness"

... At the 34th Rhine Marathon the rowers from Fermoy RC in Ireland
improved their time from last year by 15 minutes, finishing 49th in 2:20.53
over the distance from Leverkusen to RC Germania's boathouse in Dusseldorf.
But the trophy for fastest overseas crew went to Cygnet RC from London in
2:17.49. "In the last 10 marathons Fermoy has won the fastest overseas crew
trophy seven times. Since we did not manage to win this year, it'll be a
good reason to come again next year," said Michael Donellan. Micahel was
not in the "family four". "He had to row with the big boys, we are the
lightweights of the family" joked Paul, who was in a crew with his brothers
Steven, Shane and Connor. At home on the emerald island they row, if ever,
on the river Black Water, where one can only row for 4 km before the water
gets too shallow. They have prepared themselves for the 42.8km marathon
distance in Germany in a typically Irish fashion. "Oats in the morning, and
mainly Guinness in the evening - that how we've trained both last year and
this year," said Steven. Father Sean clarifies the proviso, "Sometimes they
had a hard-boiled egg in the evening as well."...

Westdeutsche Zeitung 10.10.2005
... Marjorie from Cygnet wonders why she volunteered to row the Marathon
again. "The river is so wide, the wind so strong, the waves are so high and
all those large boats!" In spite of all this, she's participating for the
fourth time....

The caption under the photo says:"Careful, oncoming traffic on the Rhine"
- The marathon rowers have to keep an eye out for more than just their
opposition....

This article must have been written by the weird woman who walked up for a
chat before we'd even started. Rhiannon and I were having a coke while Alan
was on his first beer. Her crew members were drinking beer before the
start! Anyway, she was just asking us questions and scribbling down lots
although she never actually asked if she could interview us, or quote us or
anything. She just looked rather messy. You know, hair sticking out
everywhere as if she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards - probably
trying to escape having to do the marathon because the article goes on to
relate how they finally were rowing together after 20 k, that under these
conditions they had to really grip the blades to avoid them flying out of
their hands in a big spaghetti tangle and how her thumbs got smacked
between the two handles... obviously had never done it before because
that's what happened to me the first time too - bloody all in one and so
on"

Note to self: Next time when strange women come for a chat holding a
notepad, tell her all about the fast crews we've sent out with all those
good-looking rowers in them!

Small Castrati Bumps His Head, 11/10

Recently appointed novice captain, Lance-Ambulanceman and suspected castrati Gledhill bumped-his-head-in-the-line-of-duty recently. Because he's a big girl and wants lots of icky sympathy he has sent in the whole story. I wouldn't panda [sic.] to it if I were you...

First shift out "solo" - crewed with a team leader, so thought I would be ok.

I "elected" to attend, first job of the day, nice little urgent, taking a reasonably ok 4 month old baby with mum and 2 nurses (!!!) from West Midds to St Georges. What could go wrong?

Asked to transfer on blue lights, so Dave (team leader) is making steady progress down the Upper Richmond Road. I have about 30 seconds before, moved from the re-sus seat up to the foot end of the trolley bed to check on child (who is in a child seat, all snug and strapped in).

HOLD ON is shouted from the cab - too late, and anyway, hold onto what?

Very heavy braking to avoid the Merc estate that has just pulled out right in front of us. We do not hit it, and it drives off...

However, I fly forward, and I mean fly. Head first straight into the cupboards where there is a nice sharp edge, and cut my freeking head wide open, blood everywhere, on my shirt, on my new EMT2 epaulettes, all over the floor.

Luckily, I land near the blue roll, so a bit of positive pressure to stem the blood. Dave comes through the doorway, I am sure I heard him laugh, and wraps a bloody great dressing all around my head.

Being a couple of professionals, we advise the nurses (who looked slightly shocked) that this is all in a days work for the LAS, and we continue on with our transfer.

On arriving at St Georges, the waiting crews look confused as an LAS person gets out the back all covered in blood, and then proceeds to get the trolley bed out with a baby all strapped on it, sleeping peacefully.

So, I book myself in with reception, see the doctor, and have 7 STITCHES PUT IN MY HEAD.

In my 43 years, I have never actually been in hospital for an injury or illness, or indeed hurt myself in any way that has required anything more than a plaster. I do 1 job at Isleworth, and my head is all smashed in.

For us at the blog the three stand-outs in this story are (1) Dave requires a team leader when he's the only person in the team, (2) said team leader doesn't let Dave drive the ambulance and ensures there are always two nurses in the back to correct his medical cock-ups, and (3) he's more worried about his new EMT2 epaulettes than his head. Sigh...

Simply Press, 11/10

Why not enjoy reading the blog whilst sipping a cool beer, freshly poured from (for example) a long-necked beer tower, or giraffe. What do you mean you can't because the miserly bar steward won't buy one? Surely that can't be true?

Anyway apparently we get a mention in the article on Page 7 (Haferflocken und Guinness) column 1 and even better, there's a quote from a certain "Marjorie vom Cygnet Ruderclub aus London" in the article on Page 8 (Wenn Ruderer der Ehrgeiz packt) column 1.

An initial stab at translating the second of these is - Marjorie of the Cygnet rudder club from London asks oneself, why she takes part in again "the river is so broadly, the wind so strongly, the waves is so highly, so many and so large ships!" Nevertheless it participates the fourth time - which after half a bottle of Pimms is almost exactly how Marj does speak!

But does anyone actually Sprecken du Deutsch?

Captain's Log, 10/10

Today's Captain's Log is brought to you by Le Girafe. "If your bar hasn't got one then it's rubbish and the bar steward should be sacked." - not my words but the words of Top Gear magazine.

Dear all,

This weekend saw our annual pilgrimage to Dusseldorf for the Rhine Marathon, although I think that the word marathon refers to the amount of Altbier you are required to consume rather than anything as trivial as actually rowing 42 kms. I am however, very pleased to report that not only did we keep the British end up with regards to the drinking (Alan and the Chairman leading the charge) but the four finally wrested the Fastest Overseas Crew trophy from the clutches of Fermoy RC and missed out on the Fastest Sweep Oared Boat title by a mere 40 seconds in 2hrs 17mins 46 secs. A superb effort from all the crew - Christian, me, Mike C, [Dr. - ed.] David F and Nick W - and my first win as captain. The mixed quad of Christoph, Nick E, Nick W, Rhiannon and Marj also put in a very respectable time indeed of 2 hrs 39mins. I'm very proud. Photos will be posted soon.

Particular thanks to Christoph who was charged with making our stay in Benrath as comfortable as possible. He did so very efficiently. Ze Vaddle could have had a couple more stops but other than that, superb service as always.

[In typical style our German hosts had decided that the speed and efficiency of Ze Vaddle could be vastly increased by simply removing all those unnecessary stops at pubs and bars along the way. "Let's get ready to ramble." - ed.]

Meanwhile back at the boathouse........I've heard no reports to the contrary so I assume that everything went very well!

THIS WEEK

SATURDAY afternoon is the Pairs Head and it's still not too late to volunteer to help out. Refreshments provided for all helpers. Please let Ali, Katherine or me know if you can hang around and help out.

I think that I've banged on enough about the forthcoming head races but the Fours Head is the next big one on the 12th November and I need to know availability this week. It's looking like we might get all five of our fours out for this race but we have to get entries in soon before it fills up. Let me know. All forthcoming stuff is on the website too.

SOCIAL DATES FOR YOUR DIARY

CORRECTION

As I'm sure that you've all seen on the blog, Nick Wyatt did indeed get into the top 20 of the Rowers Revenge Triathlon. Two of the results above his were posted by relay teams which don't count. Apparently.

That's your lot. If you have been, make sure that the whip pays for it.

Neil.

Rather Small Revengers, 05/10

A selection of our recent revengers, erm, revenging. Note the sprint finish between Psycho Bates & Pretty-Boy Naylor in the 2nd shot. Too exciting for words!

Has anyone got a magnifying glass?

Remind You Of Anyone, 04/10

For those of you with a few minutes at work (and Quicktime) you might like to take a look at Gollum's acceptance speech for the best digital performance award at the 2003 MTV movie awards. It's a classic (and Hugo winner).

If you're (say) working closely with ministers, generals or asylum seekers you might like to heed the warnings and turn that volume DOWN...

Captain's Log, 03/10

STOP PRESS...

> From: Nick Wyatt
> Date: October 3, 2005 11:53:42 BST
> To: Neil Pickford
> Subject: RE: Captain's log
>
> Just to say I did actually come in the top 20 - 2 of those that beat 
> me were in relay teams which is cheating so I came 19th - that's what 
> I'm saying anyway!

[This with reference to Nick's rubbish 21st placing in the Rowers Revenge which (because he is so busy at work) he has "recalculated" to be 19th using (a) Civil Service calculators and (b) tax payers money - ed.]

...AND NOW THE REST OF THE LOG...

Three fours and a single out on a pleasant but windy Saturday morning. I was away on Sunday but I'm sure that it all went very well as I've heard nothing to the contrary.

Congratulations to the 8 Cygnets, 2 BB Ladies and 1 guest that competed in the Rowers Revenge Triathlon on Sunday. We should all be very proud of the effort that was put into a very hard event and it was great to see all 9 guys lined up on the ergs tapping it along in unison. Excellent sprint finish between Bates and Naylor too. Nick Wyatt's confidence was not misplaced as the closest Cygnet to his time was yours truly, 8.24 minutes off his blistering 1:29.42. Unfortunately for Nick everyone else is getting quicker too and he failed to break into the Top 20, coming 21st again! Full results on the Rowers Revenge website.

Talking of hard events, Rhiannon has asked me to pass on the following with regards to her Rhine Marathon debut this weekend:

> Since I've been coerced (guilt-tripped) into participating in the 
> Rhine Marathon this coming weekend, I thought I may as well ensure 
> there was a point to trekking over to Germany, rowing for three hours 
> and drinking a lot. Consequently, I'm taking part in aid of the Cystic 
> Fibrosis Trust, which is a cause very close to my heart. More info can 
> be found here: www.cftrust.org.uk; and I've set up a justgiving page 
> here: http://www.justgiving.com/rhiannonmeredith if you'd like to 
> sponsor me. Many thanks, Rhiannon.

THIS WEEK:

HEAD RACING:

I sent a mail out to all the active oarsmen last week and eagerly await your responses. I shall post reminders. If you haven't already, please let me know soon if you want to race in the Four's head as entries are all ready starting to fill up.

Next weekend, Saturday 15th. Pairs Head volunteers required. Let me know if you stay and help.

For all you keen scullers out there Noel has posted the following:

> I wondered if any of you would be interested in racing at either 
> Saturday 29th October Marlow Long Distance Sculls (4400 m 1x only) or 
> Sunday 30th October Upper Thames Head (3200 m 2 Divisions: various 
> Classes)
> All details can be found on the website: 
> http://www.rowing.biddulph.btinternet.co.uk/2005cal.htm#oct
> Ideally I would like to organise to race at Upper Thames, A quad scull 
> in the morning and Double sculls in the afternoon.

SCULLING BLADES:

I have repainted all of our club sculling blades. There are now two easily identified sets of club blades that you can use, the blue spooned Sutton's and the white spooned Concept II's. Any other blades belong to either BBRLC or are privately owned and shouldn't be taken out. Please try to keep the Cygnet club blades on the right hand side of the rack.

HOUSEKEEPING:

As we will all be spending a lot more time in and around the boathouse and The Shed for the next six months can we please make an effort to keep it in a reasonable state.

In the changing room - Rubbish in the bins, kit hung up or in lockers, wellies in the pile, cups in the dishwasher, bikes outside etc, etc. If you have to bring your bike inside please leave it by the door not in front of the benches. Kit left lying around on the floor or the benches will be disposed of. You have been warned. Small lockers are still available, talk to Andy Naylor.

In the shed - Please wipe down the ergs after use, put the weights away safely and use the bin provided for your rubbish.

Everywhere else - rubbish in the bins, cups in the dishwasher, glasses in the bar blah, blah, blah...

HINT: If the bin is full, the full bag can be put in the wheelie bin behind Emanuel and new ones can be found in the kitchen. As can mops and brooms but I know that I'm wasting my breath on that one.

You're all very kind.

Neil.

Ergo Prep For Twits, 03/10

With serious ergo training due to start tomorrow night now might be a good time to do a bit of homework. The Concept2 website has lots of useful information and its training resources are pretty good. Technique, planning and motivation (aka beer) are all covered in good detail.

Revenge Served Warm, 03/10

A big well done to all Cygnets, Barnes Bridgers and friends who competed in yesterday's Rowers Revenge triathlon down in Marlow. Full results can be found on the Mikrotime website.

Highlights include a 21st overall for the Nickelator and a very close finish between Psycho Bates and Pretty-Boy Naylor who were separated by just 0.61 seconds.

Dr. French was the slowest Cygnet with a penis - "even Balders beat him" - this is probably because he's making use of said penis a bit more frequently nowadays.

Concept Two News, 02/10

The latest C2 newsletter can be found here. Do you care?

Old Logs Two, 01/10

[This one from the 26th September - ed.]

A very busy (and filthy) river on Saturday saw two fours and a pair out with Alan putting a new novice through his paces in the tank. The forecast bad weather stayed away on Sunday and two fours enjoyed a much quieter (but still filthy) river with some excellent coaching for the coxed boat from Ben. Thanks to both Ben and Alan for their time this weekend, all very valuable.

It's very encouraging to see Nick, Andy and Marc stepping-up and bow-steering fours. This gives me many more options and takes the pressure off of Marj as our only cox. We're still on the look-out for another regular cox so if anyone has any short, light, bossy friends or family with a penchant for tall, heavy, handsome boys in lycra, you know when to send 'em.......

Congrats to Nick Wyatt who came 280th (ish) in the Great North Run last weekend, a very creditable position and a strong marker down for the Rower's Revenge next Sunday. Remember if any of us get within 5 minutes of him, he's buying.

THIS WEEK:

NEXT WEEK:

Winter squad training begins in earnest. All session start at 7.00pm and anyone serious about going fast in a boat is encouraged to attend as many sessions as possible. If you expect to race then erg's and/or circuits are a must.

Circuits are £4 a session or £35 if you pay in advance for all ten weeks. Monies to Marj please. We'd like to start dinner after circuits again and list is up in the kitchen for volunteers to cook.

PAIRS HEAD Saturday 15th October.

The pairs head is run by BBLRC and takes place in the afternoon this year. There are always things to help with including, timing, marshaling and boating. I'd appreciate any assistance that you can provide by staying on after outings on Saturday to help out. Officials are always well fed and watered as well as the kudos that poncing around with a megaphone can bring. Please let me know if you can stay and help out.

Enough from me. If you have been, try harder next time.

Neil.

Old Logs One, 01/10

[This one from the 19th September - ed.]

First an apology. Having had to moan a lot recently about taking care of the kit I managed to ding the Richard Du Parcq over Sculling camp, without ever getting it off the trailer! It is now at the repair shop along with the Paul Rawkins and both boats should be back by the end of the month. Not a good an example for the captain to set I know but I have offered to contribute to the repair which is a better example I hope. This does however leave us with just one coxed four (the Alan Cox) for a couple of weeks so please come via me if you want to take a coxless four out.

On a brighter note, another successful sculling camp was had, albeit smaller and a bit more intimate than April but no the worse for it. Outings were had, single were wobbled, Thames was tasted, cake was eaten and Killerpitch was drunk ! I'm assured that everyone had a good time both on and off the water and many thanks to all the S'campers for their willingness to help with the chores. A good team effort all round but particular thank to Stu who can be proud of a successfully organised first Sculling camp for him and a special mention for Rhiannon who almost single-handedly kept the Barnes Bridge Sculling Camp Catering tradition alive and kicking. Awesome fried bread.

Last weekend also saw a successful End of Season Dinner which was more traditional, low key affair after the Benrath 40th event in the summer. Geordie's ambitious 6 hour C-Y-G-N-E-T waddle was completed in time for supper deep in the bowels of Belgos Centraal where we were, as promised, efficiently kicked out at 9.00pm. A somewhat lacklustre effort for post dinner beers ensued but most were simply relieved to have survived the waddle and were on the train home well before Pumpkin time. Thanks to David and Marj for arranging the food and Geordie for the waddle.

Commiseration's to Neil Jackson and Steve Otterburn who didn't manage to medal at the FISA Masters. Hard luck Gents but we're proud that you once again represented the club at international level. Congratulations however to BBLRC's Ali Elliot who came away from the same event with two golds.

THIS WEEK:

Please be on time for weekend outings. These times will be strictly enforced.

As you know circuit training will begin (with BBLRC) on Thursday 6th October. We will once again be using the School hall and the services of professional fitness guru, Greg Edelston, both of which incur costs. Up to Christmas there will be 10 sessions and this will cost £35 if you pay up front for all 10. If you prefer, you can pay £4 per session, as and when you attend. Any surplus will be carried over until next year. This is one of the most important winter fitness sessions and I encourage all active oarsmen to attend. Please contact Marj if you'd like to book in advance. We will also try to get dinner after circuits going again and a list will go up in the kitchen very soon.

Too much from me already but do be aware of some very high tides this week.

If you have been, try taking more water with it.

Neil.

Gone Fishing, 10/09

The blog's on holiday until October 3rd. In the meantime here's some music...

Th-th-th-th-thirtysix (c) Blog Sandcastle

In 2005 Vietnam seemed like just another foreign holiday
but it wasn't
It was different in many ways, and so were those that did the holidaying
In World War II the average age of the combat soldier was 26
In Vietnam he was 36
In inininininin Vietnam he was 36
In inininininin Vietnam he was 36
In inininininin Vietnam he was 36
th th th th thirtysix

The drinking and snoozing of the past two weeks continued today
25 miles north-west of Saigon
I wasn't really sure what was going on

Thththth thirtysix, 36, Th-thirtysix 36
36,36,36,36

In Vietnam the combat tourist typically served a three week tour of duty
But was exposed to hostile streetsellers almost everyday
Ththththththththththt 36 ththththththth 36
Ththththththththththt 36 ththththththth 36

In Saigon a U.S military spokesman said today more than 700 party goers
Were drunk last week in that sensitive border area
Throughout all of South Vietnam the holidaymakers lost a total 2689 Dong

All those who remember the holiday
They won't forget what they've seen
Destruction of men in their prime
Whose average was 36
Dedededededede-Destruction
Dedededededede-Destruction

According to a Veteran's Administration study
Half of the Vietnam holiday reps suffered from what Psychiatrists call
Post-Traumatic-Holiday-Disorder
Many reps complain of alienation, rage, or guilt
Some succumb to suicidal thoughts
Eight to Ten years after coming home almost eight hundred thousand men
Are still fighting the urge for lady boys

None of them received a heroes welcome

Dedededededede-Destruction

Thththththththththt thirtysix, 36, Th-thirtysix 36
36,36,36,36
Thththththththththt thirtysix, 36, Th-thirtysix 36
36,36,36,36

Vietnam S S Saigon
Vietnam S S Saigon
Vietnam S S Cygnet
Vietnam S S Cygnet
Purple heart Saigon
Purple heart Cygnet
Geordie isn't really sure what's going on
Golder isn't really sure what's going on
Davo isn't really sure what's going on
Grimshaw isn't really sure what's going on
Balders isn't really sure what's going on
Gibbons isn't really sure what's going on

Audacity, 10/09

Have just downloaded and been playing about with Audacity, quite a good (and free) audio recording package. Perhaps it's time for the blog to podcast?

Anyway here's a first test. Let us know what you think!

Favicon Winner, 10/09

With the exception of Simon French's blue and white penis the judges were incredibly impressed with the quality of the entries. Here's a reminder of them all...

After many hours deliberation the highly qualified (and completely sober) judging panel have decided that Bea's design is the winner, and it is now in place (although you may not see it for a while depending on your browser's caching configuration)...

Well done Bea. From our extensive staff of highly qualified coaches we have selected Ben to be your instructor. Please contact him directly to arrange your private sculling lesson. If you are having problems locating him you'll probably find his head on the pillow next to yours (hopefully still attached to his body).

Oh alright then, but it goes against everything I hold dear. Only when completely blown [up - ed.] can one appreciate the work which has gone into Mr. French's penis...

He won't be missed.

Going Going FaviCON, 07/09

The closing deadline for your favicon submissions is this coming Friday, 9th September. The winner will be announced during Saturday's Waddle.

Remember that the prize is a private sculling lesson from an experienced, handsome, older, ARA qualified coach (who still has all his own hair).

"Second prize is two sculling lessons. badoooom-tshhhhhh."

Cygnet In Henleyland, 05/09

A Note for Posterity...

Before Henley 2005 passes from the collective memory, it seems only fair and reasonable to reflect on the more momentous happenings of that week. If one had to summarise events in a few sentences, they would go something like this: it was a week in which Chairman Wylie vowed to sell his villa in Spain and take up yachting; Cygnet put up a sterling performance in the Silver Goblets; Davison Junior came with days of winning the Princess Elizabeth Cup, greatly adding to his fathers grey hairs; the President (Sly) visited new heights of misbehaviour in Remenham and the Chairman suffered from hallucinations. As a footnote, it would be churlish not to mention that your scribe (Rawkins P) caught the most humongous crab in the blue ribbon event of the club regatta, hastening the twilight of his rowing career! But read on.

For the first time in recent, nay, living memory Mike Arnold-Gilliat, the dowager Chairman, had been recalled to London during Henley week (to entertain some guests from Benrath). Consequently, his billet at the Flower Pot an idyllic Victorian fishing inn nestling by the Thames at Aston was up for grabs and Richard Kemball-Cook (KC to his friends) had stepped forward as a willing candidate. As we waved MAG goodbye on the Wednesday evening, there was an air of expectancy that sweeps over the Regatta from time to time: the weather forecast was not wholly bad, Cygnet and sons would be out on the water in force the following day and our trio would be blessedly free of Gilliats nocturnal grunts and groans. In short, a good nights sleep beckoned, but not before KC had been treated to an evening in the public bar.

The usual ribald humour greeted us as we stepped into the public bar and binge drinking was in full swing. Cygnet and Midland Bank were dug into their usual corner. A young lass called Jane (not her real name) was providing the evenings entertainment, regaling the punters with outrageous tales while perched precariously on a bar stool in a most revealing regatta gown. Then, just when all sorts of expectations had reached fever pitch, she announced that she and the boyfriend would be going home on a tandem, he peddling and she supping champagne through a straw while poised on the passenger seat. The occupants of the public bar duly gathered in the car park in disbelief and were not disappointed; having tottered up Aston Hill in pitch darkness, the tandem tumbled into a ditch amid much giggling and gurgling.

The ensuing night passed fitfully, alternating between the dawn chorus and KCs slumberous tones. The look on the Chairmans face at breakfast said it all come back Gilliat, all is forgiven. But, not being ones to bear grudges, KC was invited to join the lunch party at Remenham and after kippers for breakfast we strode out for the regatta in good spirits, notwithstanding the rain. Unfortunately, we were never going to make it in time to see the Cygnet pair perform, but other club members were present and early reports were full of praise with the crew storming ahead past Old Blades, before relinquishing the lead at the Enclosures.

Despite the rain, we had a full complement for the Presidents lunch at Remenham. Nonagenarians George Plumtree and George Walls appeared right on cue and Plumtree treated the Captain and Deputy Captain to the time honoured practice of a pinch of snuff before lunch, something they may not wish to repeat. Lunch began with some gentle banter and a number of toasts, including one to Peter Sly to mark his thirty-year tenure as president. Sly remarked that he had always been good at arithmetic and could only recall nine annual presidents lunches during his long tenure a committee oversight no doubt! He did, however, concede that it had been the least demanding position he had ever held apart from churchwarden.

Shortly after this, our party retired to the club veranda where the Captain announced that it was his birthday and ordered two bottles of port to mark the occasion. Arguably this was the start of the president's downfall, metaphorically speaking of course. By now, the wheels of social intercourse had been generously lubricated and the President made an impassioned speech about the club being like a big family - you either love em or hate em - intoned Sly, with special reference to Wylie and Gilliat. With that, the president ordered a bottle of brandy and downed most of it himself before lurching (literally) into a two-hour slumber.

Later, as our party stood up to take its leave of Remenham, it became clear that the President was (a) legless and (b) the architect of his own misfortunes (well, mostly anyway), to use two time-honoured Cygnet phrases. John Cork, the best boat builder on the river, and your scribe duly had to man handle the President the short distance from Remenham back to his residence, Old Blades. The scene was not unlike that one in the Wind in the Willows where Toad has to be rescued, kicking and screaming, from undesirable company!

Back at Old Blades, we plonked the President down in an armchair where he duly revisited lunch all over the lounge carpet, much to Mrs President and his daughter Prudences dismay. The Chairman being a sensitive, albeit pissed individual signalled that it was time for us to take our leave. As we bade the President farewell, the Chairman said that he hoped he (Sly) had enjoyed the lunch, to which the President replied that he had no memory of the lunch ever taking place. Could this be why the President has been unable to equate the number of presidents lunches with his years in office, we wondered. As it was still pouring with rain, Peter Jeffs whisked the Chairman and your scribe back to the Flower Pot in his pristine Jaguar, an act of faith if ever there was one.

Back at base, the Chairman downed another pint at the bar before shedding his club regalia and hitting the sack. He awoke again at 8pm just as the sun was going down at the end of a very cloudy day. There followed fifteen priceless minutes during which it steadily became clear that the Chairman thought it was Friday morning, a misconception that your scribe was slow to disabuse him of. The Chairman confided that it had been a long night, although it felt surprisingly short, wondered if hed disgraced himself the previous day and observed that it looked like a nice morning. Not until he was tottering back from the shower and thought to peek into the bar did it occur to him that an awful lot of people were drinking beer at breakfast time!

Given this impromptu, but not wholly unexpected, start to the week, readers may be surprised to learn that the remainder of the week notably the 40-year reunion with Benrath and the joint clubs regatta passed off comparatively smoothly. Celebrations at Old Blades on Friday were enlivened by many speeches and giving of gifts, not to mention a visit from Sam Mackenzie, a larger than life character who won Henley many times in the 1960s, and who remains as disrespectful as ever of the Regatta establishment. Perhaps most amazing of all, the President and the Chairman were as immaculately dressed and as garrulous as ever for the remainder of the week: they may not be finely tuned racing machines, but the club is well-served by two marvels of human physiology. And never let it be said that Cygnet cannot organise a piss-up in a brewery, still less a regatta!

Paul Rawkins, 28th August 2005.

Captain's Log, 05/09

Lawks-a-lordy where have all these rowers come from? We couldn't scrape together a racing four for regattas a few weeks ago, now, in our "easy" month of September, I need a really long piece of paper to write down all the names. Can't be bad however, unless they all disappear when I mention races again. So a really busy weekend with an eight, a coxless four and two singles out on Saturday, a coxed and a coxless four, a double and three singles out on Sunday.

The only cloud in an otherwise lovely sunny weekend was an incident that has put the Paul Rawkins out of action. This leaves us with just one coxless four (Richard du Parcq) for a fortnight as the Alan Cox is away in Strathclyde for the FISA masters.

On behalf of the club I'd like to wish Cygnets Neil Jackson, Steve Otterburn and their fellow AK scullers the very best of luck in this international class event.

THIS WEEK:

NEXT WEEK:

Our erstwhile webmaster will be taking a well earned holiday from next weekend so don't expect much from the website for 3 weeks. He's off to 'Nam where I'm sure he'll be wearing his best green vest, a bandana and listening to the Doors a lot.

I'm also going to be away next week at the bungalow so there will be no captain's log either (Hurrah!). Squad nights will continue to be Tuesday and Thursday with land training for the triathlon being the main focus - I shall leave Nick Wyatt in charge if that. The following weekend (17th/18th) is of course Sculling Camp and we'd like to see you down at the bungalow (let Marj know if you can make it). There will be no organised outings that weekend. For all the runners in the club, Pete Leffler has sent me on this link for the Run London series of events.

Enough from me and if you have been, I'm sure your mother taught you not to.

Neil.

Well Done Lorna, 04/09

Just finished watching the womens lightweight quad final on Grandstand and pleased to report that Lorna and her crew won bronze behind Canada and Denmark. Lorna learned to stick her tongue out whilst exerting herself at Barnes Bridge and no doubt she'll be pouring a few lagers down her neck tonight, another skill perfected whilst wearing royal blue hoops. Well done to her!

[Is Tebbers moonlighting at three? - ed.]

Good Luck Lorna, 03/09

Ex-Barnes Bridge Lady Lorna Norris will be competing in the final of the lightweight womens quad in tomorrow's World Champs final in Gifu, Japan. Best of luck to Lorna and her crewmates from all at the Blog. Full results can be found on the World Rowing website. As he will bore...I mean...tell you at the drop of a hat, Gledhill coxed her to her novice win at St. Neots in 2001 - here she is (on the far left of the picture next to Barnes Bridge's own diminutive sex pest).

[I wonder how much chance she would have had of remaining a lightweight if she'd stayed at the Bridge? - ed.]

Also (and unrelated) the latest C2 newsletter is out and here.

EoS Dinner Early Waddle Leak, 31/08

Whispers are already being heard in the Shed and the showers. Here's what we know so far...

Time's Up, 30/08

From Katherine Pugh...

Hello

This year, the Pairs Head of the River Race will take place at 15.30 
on Saturday 15th October. For those that don't know, this race is 
organised by Barnes Bridge Ladies Rowing Club.

Once again I am co-ordinating the timing for the race and am in need 
of willing volunteers to help out on the day, recording boat orders at 
the start and finish, and recording start and finish times. The race 
is starting at 15.30pm, so you will need to be available from 
approximately 13.30pm (for a briefing meeting and to allow time to get 
in position) until approximately 17.30pm.

For more information on the race, which is from the University Stone 
at Chiswick Bridge to Hammersmith Bridge, see the following website:

http://www.pairshor.btinternet.co.uk
 
Don't worry if you haven't done this before, no experience is 
required, and full briefing will be provided.

If you have a preference for a particular job, or for being at the 
start or finish, please let me know and I will do my very best to 
accommodate your wishes!

Please can you let me know if you are available and keen to help,

Regards, Katherine.

...Cygnet is usually well represented on the timing team for this event. If you're not racing please think about giving up a few hours to help Katherine out. Contact her at "katherine dot pugh at bt dot com". For a great blast from the past take a look at these photos from 2001, 2002, 2003 and 2004.

Captain's Log, 30/08

Another quiet weekend on the rowing front as most enjoyed a bank holiday weekend off to soak up the sun (at last) and watch the Aussies go 2-1 down in the Ashes (at last). However, Saturday witnessed the heart warming sight of the recently elected and recently retired captains out for a lunchtime paddle together in their frightfully expensive singles. Mike very generously let me win all the pieces, even the ones where he started ahead - what a nice bloke.

This week:

Fleet improvements:

Cygnets 1x is repaired at last and restored to the boatshed, on the rack where SCamp used to be. SCamp is now on a front rack but not for general use. A new 90kg single scull has been ordered from Lola/Aylings to replace Cygnet Friends and Mike has very kindly offered to go and collect it on Friday. We hope to name the boat at sculling camp and it will live on an outside rack with the 300 Club.

RESPONSES REQUIRED PLEASE (if you haven't done so already):

EoS dinner Saturday 10th September - The latest news is that food will be at 7.00 in Belgos Centraal, Covent garden and more details will be issued about the pre-dinner waddle and post-dinner drinkies once David has decided exactly what they are. However please let Marj or David know by Friday 2nd if you intend to come along.

Sculling Camp 17th/18th September - Please let Chris or Stuart know if you are planning to attend this time. They can also supply more information and directions should you feel that there's not enough already on the website. Replies by Tuesday 6th please for catering purposes. Don't forget that we will be boat loading for Sculling camp on the Sunday after the EoS dinned - that's the 11th - and most of the sculling fleet will be away between the 11th and the 18th.

Rhine Marathon 8th/9th October - Please let Marj know by Friday 2nd if you want to come either as a spectator or as a competitor as we have to let Christoph know in time to make the necessary arrangements.

Squad meeting and informal safety forum - Tuesday 6th September - That's next Tuesday evening from 7pm. Please let me know if you can't attend but I'd like everyone to do their best to be there especially if you intend steering on the tideway. Word has it, there will be nibbles.

THANKS:

Just a quick note to ask whether you could pass on my thanks to the gallant Cygnets that let their arms be twisted into helping at the Charity Rowing Day on Sunday. Rob, Stu and Mike did the club proud by doing anything I asked them to, with only a tiny amount of whinging on Stu's part. Rob overcame the fact that his feet didn't fit into the shoes in the David Coombes to stroke Ali's crew to victory; Stu ably manned the bar; and Mike went out in the launch and drank the bar dry! Without them all, the day wouldn't have been the success it was. Hopefully, Cygnet may even get a new member as a result. The cricket afterwards was just the icing on the cake, although we could have done without Mike's singing! Rhiannon.

Way hey! my shortest effort yet. You may be seated now, Neil.

Oarsport Reading, 22/08

There's quite an interesting Training section on the Oarsport website for anyone who has some time in the office.

Captain's Log, 22/08

A very quiet weekend at the boathouse this weekend with BBLRC away at Oxford and most Cygnets seemingly away elsewhere. However a novice coxed and a senior coxless 4 went afloat on Saturday, and a novice coxed four with Mike coaching alongside on Sunday. We also got some video of this outing which, as always, proved a useful coaching tool and I hope to use video more often over the winter.

Further upstream on Saturday [at the Bungalow BBQ - ed.] some of our more mature members sat on the lawn, ate some meat and drank some beer; which was nice.

THIS WEEK:

As the evening daylight is rapidly decreasing I think that this may be the last week of midweek outings unless you can get down early so please be prompt at 19:00 and wear light coloured kit if possible. Please be back from outings by sunset (times in the boathouse) or earlier if it's a dull evening.

MONEY:

The time is nearly up for 300 club tickets so if you're a regular oarsman and still without please make every effort to buy a few very soon - £10 each in cash, cheque (to Cygnet 300 Club) or by standing order - in the 300 Club pigeon hole or contact Alan Cox.

A few stragglers still owe Mike, please check the website and do the necessary.

COMING UP:

Next weekend - as it's Bank Holiday there are not likely to be many people around. Please feel free to come down and use the equipment but I suspect that it might be a bit of a weekend off for most.

Tuesday 6th September: Squad Meeting in place of outings. You've had lots of notice so could all active oarsmen please make every effort to attend. It will be just a quick chat about the plan (yes there is a plan) up until Christmas followed by another informal safety forum. There are several important issues to be discussed and ANYONE hoping to steer club boats on the Tideway is strongly advised to attend.

Saturday 10th September: End-of-Season Dinner. Precise details to follow but because of the big Benrath 40th bash earlier in the year this will be a much smaller, more informal event than in the recent past. I think that it would be fair to say that an End-of-Season drinking session with dinner on the side might be more accurate. Please make Marj or David aware of your interest.

Saturday 17th - Sunday 18th September: Sculling Camp. I'm sure this doesn't need much introduction and there is plenty to browse on the website but here's a brief synopsis: Based at the Cygnets bungalow on Hamhaugh Island, Weybridge, sculling camp is the ideal opportunity to learn or improve your sculling away from the choppy waters of the Tideway. Everyone from complete beginner to the expert sculler are welcome and coaching for the less experienced will be available from senior members of the club. It's a great social event too. There are (very) limited beds available but plenty of space on the floor or in the garden for camping. Bedrooms will be one-a-piece for Cygnet and BBLRC and are on a first come first served basis. Cost is £20 for the whole weekend, £10 for Saturday only or £5 for a half day including one meal.

Sculling Camp Timetable:

Please let Stuart Gibbons or Chris Davidson know if you intend to come along. We need numbers for catering by Monday 12th September.

Pairs Head on 15th October: It's a long way off I know but if people are interested in doing this please let me know and I can start making plans and allocating boats.

FINALLY:

Julian thought that he'd got away without me telling everyone about his little swim in the S3 1x final at Peterborough last weekend. Honestly, some people will do anything to get a shower at Peterborough!

That's all folks, Neil. STOP PRESS: Funds for new single to replace Cygnet Friends approved + Cygnets repaired and awaiting collection.

Winter Ergos Anyone, 21/08

Those new members who haven't done a winter season with us might like to take a look at this clip (filmed secretly during a BBLRC 5k test) to get a taste of what ergo nights are like. More on the Tideway Slug (Pathe news clips).

Favicon Competition, 21/08

Hopefully you'll see a new icon for our website in your favourites list from today. It's called a Favicon (held in a file called favicon.ico on our website) and your web browser will pick it up and display it in various places by default.

The blog's corporate web design department has been working day-and-night to come up with this initial icon but we wager you can do better. Why not make use of this simple online favicon editor and mail us the results. The best design will make it onto the website and the lucky winner will get a private sculling lesson from a handsome ARA qualified coach.

Enties to mcollier at btinternet dot com. Be aware that small 16x16 images of willies or breasts (even if they are in club colours) are not as funny as you might think.

Border Skirmish, 20/08

The FISA World Masters Regatta 2005 (Strathclyde) draw is now up (PDF format) and the clubs are well represented with Cygnet in 4 races and BBLRC in a total of 13 over the 3 days from Friday 9th to Sunday 11th September. Good luck to Cygnets Neil and Steve!

Fifteen Quid Burning A Hole, 18/08

Received today at chez blog. Anyone care to join me?

Thank you very much for your entry for the 2005 British Indoor Rowing
Championship on November 20th at the National Indoor Arena, Birmingham.
Below is a summary of what you have entered. Please check it carefully.
If there are any changes that need to be be made, please contact Concept 2
as soon as possible by e-mail at birc@concept2.co.uk...
Name: Mike Collier
Date of Birth: 30/06/69 
Club: Cygnet Rowing Club
Event: Men's 35-39 Hwt

Fifty Kay, 16/08

Well it crept up on us a bit but I'm pleased to say that the Cygnet website has now had over 50,000 hits since its counter was initialized on July 8th, 2001. Interestingly that's 33.3 hits per day - it makes us at the blog very proud.

Sketchy EoS Details Forming, 16/08

Dear all, just to clarify the plans for the End of Season dinner. The idea is to leave things simple, go out for beers/other drinks first, then go to a large restaurant where they are used to large groups of people (we have to book, of course) eat something, and then continue drinking. We'll keep the cost of food fairly low, which is why Belgo's or something similar was suggested. We expect the Waddle plus dinner (food only!) to cost about £25 to £30, with drinks during and after dinner on top of that. We're slowly getting responses in, but in David's absence, can you please let me know as well if you'd like to be included in our list. Cheers, Marj.

Some of us well remember EoS dinners at Belgo's. Some of us would rather forget. I think Collier's wearing a wig, and doesn't Steve look young!

Captain's Log, 16/08

Well done to all the guys who came and rowed at Peterborough Summer this weekend despite the appalling weather on Saturday - I think that use of the word 'Summer' to describe the event may well have been against the Trade Descriptions act - it was horrible. Plenty of good performances by the Cygnets however, getting into the finals of S2 pairs, S3 doubles and S3 singles on Saturday and the S2 coxed fours and S2 pairs on Sunday. No wins alas but a very creditable 2nd place (out of 16) on Sunday for the pair on Sunday losing to AK by a couple of lengths over 500m.

BBLRC did manage to squeeze out a pot very late on Sunday however, winning the S2 coxed fours event. Congratulations to all of them.

Because of the very inclement weather the traditional evening BBQ was eschewed in favour of a trip to the local (floating) Chinese restaurant for dinner and many thanks to Andy and Poppy for arranging a very pleasant evening at short notice. Also thanks to Gledders for doing the trailering this weekend.

Due to a very threadbare availability list we will not be attending either Oxford city or GBR regattas so that was the last racing of the (very long) season for us and a very successful season it has been. Many thanks to everyone who has raced and congratulations to everyone who has collected some pewter since April. Particularly hearty slaps on the back for Simon French, Ben Green and Neil Jackson all of whom have represented the club at international class events.

THIS WEEK:

The evenings are starting to draw in so please be prompt at 7:00 (or before) for outings. Also see the notice below from the Regional WSA.

Neil.

TEMPORARY PRESENCE OF LITTER CAGES AT HAMMERSMITH, 21 AUGUST. Please let your crews know about the following notification via the PLA and Thames Regional WSA of temporary hazards to navigation on the foreshore near Hammermsith on 21 August at locations shown on the attched map there will be three of the large yellow cages used in connection with the volunteer clean-up of the river bed (for the benefit of all river users).

[I haven't attached the map but the 3 cages are on the Hammersmith side of the river just downstream of Hammersmith Bridge - ed.]

Gobbers, 14/08

Having a bit of a trawl whilst watching the Ashes and we came across these Goblets shots on the BigBlade website. If you scroll through The Simon/Ben ones (race 9) at speed it's like a little movie. Just keep hitting Next.

Did we teach them to row like that?

Ergo News, 14/08

The latest C2 newsletter can be found here. We know you love it.

Cygnet Now RSS Enabled, 12/08

Are you wondering what that little orange button is for? Well our website is now RSS enabled. Using a suitable newsreader (we like Newzie at www.newzie.com) you can be notified when (a) the website changes, (b) the sculling pod information page changes and (c) when the blog changes (with more coming soon).

If you've never heard of RSS you might like to check out this really good introduction from the BBC website or this Wikipedia RSS definition. We at the blog use Newzie every day to quickly keep up with breaking news from a whole variety of sites.

Any questions or comments are welcome.

BBLRC Captain's BBQ, 12/08

Just a(nother) reminder that BBLRC will be having a BBQ after outings on the Tuesday 23rd to celebrate their change of captaincy. All Cygnets are invited. If you fancy it just let Rhiannon know so they have an idea of numbers. Sadly I don't know Rhiannon's email address so will leave that as an exercise for the reader.

Aha - infact I do: rhiannon dot meredith at gmail dot com.

A Bitter Pill, 10/08

More triathlon news just in. It would appear that Nick wasn't the fastest Cygnet in last weekend's London Triathlon. Well done to Steve Morgan. This should make the Rowers Revenge a bit more interesting...

> ...not wishing to brag, but I got 2.22.52 yesterday.  
> Beaten Nick at last!  30th position, but again don't know if this is 
> position in wave or age group (can't believe it will be overall).

...that's one-nil to us thirtysomethings!

The TWyatt-Light Zone, 09/08

Obviously a Suskind fan the warning from Nostradamus Wyatt below should probably be completely ignored. If interested ask him for the standard slug deviation and modal pigeon mean. Whatever.

...and one other thing I ought to warn you about. I think there is a mysterious pigeon affliction spreading round London. I woke up this morning to find a dead pigeon right on my doorstep as though it had been knocking on the door to get in and then saw another 2 dead ones whilst cycling to work and can't remember ever seeing any before (also saw possibly a record number of slugs on dog poo alley which was also unpleasant). So you heard it here first mass pigeons deaths and mass slug outbreak across London I fully expect it to make the paper in the next few weeks...

We at the blog thought all this would stop when he started getting some.

Also - shame on the person (you know who you are) who forwards private emails to the blog. Where are your morals?

Captain's Log, 08/08

CFC Enterprise appears to have turned into a ghost-ship in my absence, where have all the crew gone? Abducted by aliens (girlfriends) no doubt. So a very quiet weekend at the boat-house this weekend at least gave me a chance to catch up, take stock and show another potential new novice around.

300 CLUB - a bit of a whinge:

During my stock take I happened upon a list of this year's 300 club subscribers and there are some names which are very noticeable by their absence. In particular there are none of our now-established novices on the list so it seems like a good time for me remind you what the 300 club is all about. We don't have a boat shed full of Empachers but our fleet is a good quality, well maintained one which is essentially paid for by the funds generated by the 300 club. It is therefore considered to be particularly poor form for active members (who make the most use of the fleet) to not contribute towards it's up-keep. So gents, let's be having you now. We don't need you to be writing three figure cheques just to purchase a few 300 clubs tickets to help keep the facilities that you currently enjoy up to scratch. Tickets are £10 each and can be bought with a cheque (Cygnet 300 club), cash or even direct debit. The bottom line that if the 300 club can't raise the money required then subs will go up and at least the 300 club gives you the chance of winning some back! Alan Cox is the 300 club coordinator and more details can be found on the website. You know it makes sense.

SUPERNICK:

Our very own Nick Wyatt competed in The London Triathlon yesterday. Their website seems to have gone into meltdown but here's a brief synopsis from the man himself:

To let you know I survived yesterday's ordeal. My time was 2hrs 24 which is better than I thought I'd get and have been told qualifies me to compete with the elite men next year! (I don't believe it but apparently under 2.30 is the cut off). My position was 63rd not sure if this was in just my age group, wave or overall as just got in a text last night and can't access their website this morning. I lost most of my time on the bike. Surprisingly the swim went ok although have bashed my finger pretty bad and having trouble bending it so that better recover soon then had a storming run and lost count of the number of people I overtook. You will be pleased to hear I wore my cygnet all-in-one so hopefully represented the club well. I really hope I beat James Cracknell, would be fantastic to say I beat an Olympic champion so those web results better be ready soon.

Many congratulations to Nick for a fine effort. His little wager on the Rowers Revenge is also looking quite secure - time to get training boys!

On the subject of congratulations, BBRLC also bagged two pots at Maidenhead over the weekend. Well done to all the ladies involved.

COMING UP:

13th/14th August - Peterborough Summer Regatta. A reminder of the entries:

The draw isn't up yet but should be available here in the next couple of days http://www.peterboroughcityrowing.co.uk/events_summer.html Could all crews please be arrange to be around to help load the trailer on Thursday evening after outings. Dave Gledhill has kindly agreed to tow the trailer, thanks Dave.

[STOP-PRESS: the draw is now available here - ed.]

20th/21st - Oxford City Regatta - Last call for anyone wanting to race.

Saturday 20th - Bungalow BBQ. You should all have had invitations in the post by now.

Sunday 21st August - Vesta fun run, details on last weeks Captain's log on the blog.

Tuesday 23rd August - BBLRC Captaincy elections with a BBQ (and beers) afterwards to which Cygnet are all cordially invited. After outings of course.

THIS WEEK:

As you were, Neil.

A Very Small Scalp, 04/08

The impressive news that our new dream-boys double beat TSS at HT&V Regatta last weekend has been somewhat dampened by the following "update" from our very own Mr. Rowett...

> What you failed to mention was that Julian and Noel beat a Tideway
> Scullers School double in their heat. Off the start, TSS was 3/4 of a
> length up fairly quickly and sat on them, under rating a couple of
> points. At 400 odd meters gone, the fact that the bow man of the TSS
> 2x had...
>
> 1. Been out in the 'Fridge' in Brixton until 5:00am.
> 2. Not been training in a commendable manner since 1991.
>
> Also the stroke man had:
>
> 1. Been up 5 times in the night to deal with a vomiting baby son.
> 2. Been silly enough to race his 1x in the morning.
>
> ...led to an impressive localised mushroom cloud from bow which 
> quickly spread to stroke. Siezing the initiative, the Cygnet double 
> maintained their good pace and went through the now smoking TSS crew 
> like a hot knife through butter, to win in an impressive manner.
>
> The TSS double, having been a comfortable 6 lengths up on the third 
> place crew from Guildford, had dropped the anchor by now and were seen 
> to limp over the line an amusing third place.
>
> Cygnet went on to have an impresssive final, scrapping for 2nd place 
> whilst the TSS double watched from the comfort of the bar...

Captain's Backlog, 04/08

I return from my 'holiday' to the far flung hills up North (where it is, let me assure you, still grim, even in late July) to find a busy 10 days have passed back at CRC Enterprise. It's touching that so many of you want to communicate electronically with me even in my absence but alas not all of it was good news. So with my command only two weeks old it's time for the grim duty of having a moan.

MOAN ON

1. I understand that with the change of Captaincy and my immediate departure after St.Neots, communications may have been less effective than usual but I was appalled to find out that of the 20 rowers who competed at St. Neots only 5 turned out on Monday night to unload the trailer. This simply isn't good enough. I agree that Monday night unloading should have been confirmed over the weekend but never-the-less we've all be doing this long enough to appreciate that away regattas also include boat loading the Thursday before and unloading the Monday afterwards and not just showing up for the weekend to race. Please assume that this is always the arrangement unless you hear otherwise. It's a team sport and that includes the boring stuff as well. 'Nuff said.

2. What is happening to our steering? There seems to have been an upturn in the number of incidents involving Cygnet boats over the last 6 months but two crashes in the space of a week. Please! This comes at a time when the powers-that-be are keeping a close eye on the rowing community and Cygnet have been held up as a good example of safety! The most concerning aspect is that so many incidents seem to involve collisions with other boats with all the associated issues of injury to people and damage to boats.

I will be having an urgent meeting with the Captaincy and the WSA to discuss our steering policy and review the approved steersmen list but in the mean time, any novices or members new to the tideway must get express permission from the Captaincy before taking out a coxless boat. Experienced steersmen, please take extra care, we simply can't afford this level of damage to our equipment or our reputation.

There is a Steering and Navigation booklet please ask for a copy or take time to re-read it if you already have one.

MOAN OFF

IMPORTANT INFORMATION:

On the subject of steering there will be dredging work between Kew Rail and Stone bridges commencing Wednesday the 3rd for about 7 days. All rowers are Strongly Advised not to go above Kew Rail for the duration of the dredging work and should extend their outings downstream instead.

REMINDERS:

- Just to reiterate Marj's mail about money owed to Mike. He's not Captain any more and would like his money back, please. It's all on the website so please check that you're paid up and thanks to all those that have already done so.

- Please don't wander off home with the boat shed keys if you lock up.

GOOD NEWS AND UPCOMING STUFF:

- Congratulations to our two newest members, Noel and Julian who came third in the S2 2x at Henley Town and Visitors last weekend. A good effort as they are actually an S4 double so were racing two categories above themselves.

- Thursday night and Sunday morning sculling pods for the more experienced, conditions permitting. More details on the website.

- Peterborough Summer Regatta: the following crews have been entered, thank you Marj.

SATURDAY 13th August

SUNDAY 14th August

As you can see a small senior entry. Apologies to the few other guys that were available but there were no sensible crew options to fit you into.

Peterborough crews will have boat priority for training outings between now and then with loads of pressure on the pair/doubles so please arrange accordingly. Seats are £8 each plus £2 petrol/trailer money. Cash or cheques to Marj please.

VESTA AND FRIENDS FUN RUN:

If you're not going to Oxford City or are in training for the Rowers Revenge try this from Greg:

I'm organising a run, the two bridges, i.e. from Vesta RC to Hammersmith bridge and back through Fulham and over Putney bridge and back to Vesta RC. 4 miles. I have organised som fab prises As you are happy to being subjected to my abuse next winter, you are all duelly my friends and are thus invited. I.E. you are all expected to come. (Please note from an insurance point of view, this is a VESTA training run, and friends invited, but is not open everyone). And at your own risk. I hope you will all come along and support a very good cause. Sun 21 August 2005 at 10am - £5/person (funds hopefully for our gym)

Reply to Greg (fitsw13 at yahoo dot co dot uk)

SKI TRIP 2006:

The 8th (?) annual Barnes Bridge/Cygnet ski trip will take place this year in the last week of January (28th/29th). We generally sneak off for a weeks skiing fairly soon after Christmas so that you can be back in time for serious Eights Head training. Last year 10 of us went to Les Arc 2000 - fantastic snow, freezing temperatures and lots of fun (see pictures on Cygnet website). It might seem early to be planning so far head but I usually book by the end of August to make sure we get the best deal. I am planning to book a package in a catered chalet, possibly in Morzine, France - the Portes du Soleil area which is a massive ski area near Avoriaz and Les Gets. It's usually a mixed ability group (in so many ways) - boarders and all levels of skiing catered for, including complete beginners.

Can you let me (theresa dot salter at camden dot gov dot uk) know if you are interested by this Friday and I'll give you some more info on cost etc?

THIS WEEK:

Outings as usual on Thursday at 19:00, Saturday at 09:00 and Sunday at 9:30. Monday nights are now designated Rowers Revenge Triathlon Training Nights [RRTTN - ed.]. Join Nick for a 4k erg and a two bridge run. Believe me, it's worth starting the training now.

Phew! another long one, sorry. I'm off now to nurse this head cold that I picked up in the hills but should be down on Thursday and then most nights for the next twelve months.

No need to salute.

Neil (aka Captain Jean-Luc Piccfard).

Attache Kiss, 04/08

It sounds a bit like attache case, get it? Anyway, the convivial sharing of a pan-European embrace or the frantic fumblings of a randy old chairman? You decide.

Captain's Log, 02/08

Gentlemen,

In Neil's absence, a short note from me about this week...

DREDGING AT KEW

First of all, and most importantly, I would like to make you all aware of the dredging that is going to take place from tomorrow (Wednesday) for about a week. We have received advice from the Thames Regional Rowing Council to avoid the area where the dredging is taking place as there will be many boats and anchor lines involved in a rather narrow bit of the river by Oliver's Island.

As Cygnet Captaincy we would therefore STRONGLY ADVISE all members to not go beyond Kew Railway Bridge, and instead lengthen their outings by going towards Putney instead.

TRAINING/OUTINGS

Neil will be back later this week. See most of you tonight.

Marj.

It's Time To Play The Music, 27/07

Umpires sometimes get a tough time from us rowers so we were encouraged to hear that our very own Owen Herbert decided to have a stab at bridging the gap by chatting to an amiable umpire at St. Neots Regatta last Saturday.

Eventually the conversation turned to capsizings, specifically the number there had been that day. The umpire was pretty sympathetic towards the junior and novice single scullers before describing a "pair of muppets in a double" who had gone in just before the line.

Little did he know that he was talking to Beaker and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew wasn't very far away!

Champs Shots, 26/07

Some pictures of our boys at the Nat Champs can be found on the Natures Images website. Direct links here and here.

What a Concept, 25/07

The new Concept2 newsletter can be found here.

Captain Jean-Luc Pickford's Log, 25/07

STARDATE 25-7-05.0105...

Despite it's recent change in command structure and influx of new personnel the CRC Enterprise continues undaunted on its merry way across the vast wastes of the regatta season. This weekend a huge turnout at St. Neots ensured a very busy and, in the final reckoning, fairly successful weekend. How we managed to be in the very first race at 9am on Saturday morning and the very last race at 6:45pm on Sunday night I'll never know.

Good news for the Novice 4+ on Saturday who finally got that elusive race win in their first heat but other than that not much else to report except that the weather was quite nice and we all got knocked out so early that we could start drinking a lot earlier than usual. Another superb bit of barbecueing by tong-master Wyatt saw over 40 people gathered for the feast before the young (and Uncle Balders) went off to sample the delights of the famously cheesy St. Neots RC disco on the other side of the galaxy (er...river). The senior members of Fleet Command stayed in camp and held a council about not wanting to see nubile young oars-people swimming naked in the river anyway.

Sunday dawned but didn't live up to it name, there being no sun whatsoever. The rain put in a strong showing however as did the wind but more crucially so did we, with wins for:

I like to think that everyone had a good weekend despite the awful weather on Sunday and thanks to everyone for helping to make it another successful mission, particularly all those who stayed on to the bitter end to cheer on the S2 4- and help with the trailer. Also to Andy, Rhiannon, and Owen for arranging and doing the shopping on Saturday.

I bet that Owen and Greg thought they'd got away with me not mentioning their little swim in the novice double event on Saturday too? Or Gavin for running out of fuel on the A1 despite having just driven past 4 petrol stations? And yes, I did catch a crab whilst a length up in the pair on Saturday - doh!

TO BOLDLY GO...

Our two newest members Noel and Julian will be representing Cygnet in a sculling frenzy at Henley Town and Visitors next weekend. Good luck guys.

Last call for Peterborough Summer availability. It's looking like a small, select senior entry at the moment although I'm sure that I heard the ex-captain mention something about Novice single sculls...

Email availability to Marj please.

As previously mentioned I'm away and out of range now until the 4th August. Marj and Stu have the helm.

If you have been, please desist.

Neil.

(Mike wanted me to sign-off Jean-Luc Pickford but he'd had a couple of beers by then and I'm not sure that his analogy really holds up in the cold light of day).

[We have subsequently spoken to Mike and it is still making him laugh so watch this space for more from our captain's log - ed.]

Priorities, 25/07

We at the blog were delighted to hear the monumental news that the Ladies have now bought a frame for their constitution and hung it on the wall. Discussions surrounding the framing of their constitution have been ongoing for many years with the older members leaning towards a rococo style silver gilt frame whilst the more moderne Lady wants minimalist brushed aluminium. In the end they called in someone with a penis who stuck it up with some BluTack.

Elsewhere some girls won a rowing race...

Fluffy, 21/07

Any of the boys who'd like their towel washed and pressed should ensure they get to the club early on Monday nights. Simply secrete it in the girls changing room prior to their weekly clean and we're pretty sure that a random blue & white lovely will take it home and give it the attention it deserves. Try and restrict yourselves to towels guys - if crusty y-fronts start appearing they might smell a Cygnet...erm...rat.

Kew Dredging, 21/07

Please take a look at this notice to mariners regarding upcoming Kew shoal dredging from 3 to 7 August. Let's be careful out there!

Mad Man Ifesto, 20/07

[Congratulations to Neil, Marj and Stu on their elections from everyone at the blog. We look forward to taking the p**s hugely in the coming months - ed.]

A rational plan for running a small rowing club in 2005 or the lunatic ravings of a power-mad ego-maniac? You decide...

Neil's Captaincy Manifesto. Season 2005-06.

Introduction

Whilst Cygnet has remained a small club it has certainly taken great strides in terms of training and fitness in the last few years which has paid dividends with increased success on the water. Obviously I'd like to try and keep this upward momentum going and intend to broadly continue with the current squad system running a show-up-and-row policy. This system has the benefit that we get everyone rowing with everyone else in all types of boat and results have proved this to be successful for Cygnet and indeed other clubs much bigger than us. So as the old adage goes - 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it".

Fitness and training

I do believe that fitness is paramount in our sport, not just through the simple equation of the fitter you are the faster you go but also the fitter you are the longer training outings you can sustain and the more you can focus on your technique rather than be distracted by the pain! All those wanting to race (everybody I hope) should show reasonable commitment to training and fitness within the restraints of earning a living and life generally.

Over the winter we will continue to improve/sustain fitness through land training with ergs, circuits, core stability, weights and running on the agenda. I also hope continue to buy-in Greg Edlestone's fitness coaching which will include advice on other things such as preparation, stretching, nutrition and recovery.

Outings and Coaching

As often as possible I hope to get a coach out alongside crews during the long winter outings to maximise the effectiveness of those outings. During Regatta season crews may be 'set' depending on availability for upcoming regattas whilst non-racers are encouraged to come along and get on the water or sub-in where necessary.

I hope to continue to buy-in Nick Rowett's expert coaching and try to encourage more senior members to pass on their expertise. Ideally any racing crew would get at least one coaching session a week.

Time keeping must be improved if the squad system is to work effectively and everyone expecting to row should be at the club at least 15 minutes before the stated time. If you snooze you are likely to be doing an erg or a run rather than an outing.

Squads and racing

Currently we effectively have three squads: novices, senior 2/3 and veterans.

Racing crews will be selected by the captaincy with input from coaches and selection will be based on commitment to outings, training, fitness and ability not reputation or status.

Communications

I will continue to send out a weekly email on a Monday or Tuesday to keep you informed, encouraged and chastised. If you know that you are going to be away for a whole week or weekend a short email reply telling me so would be useful. Otherwise I'd expect to see everyone at the normal times (TBC).

Other aims (in no particular order):

I appreciate that we do this as a hobby and we do it for fun. I'd like to think that everyone will work hard for each other in training and enjoy the camaraderie that it brings with it, both in success on the water and in the bar afterwards. At the end of the day, as captain, I will put in place the support you need to go faster, the rest is up to you.

C'mon Cygnet!

Neil.

All-New Weekly News, 20/07

I was going to entitle this email "The Dawn of a New Age" or some such but let's face it that would be a load of old twaddle, so brace yourselves, it's gonna be a long one.

Firstly, thanks to all those who turned up last night to the OGM to usher in the new captaincy (or perhaps to usher out the old one?), an impressively good turnout. I am very fortunate to have taken up the baton with the club in a very healthy state thanks to the previous Captain and his team and I am simply going to try and continue the upward momentum that they have created. If I'm half as successful as Captain as Mike has been then I will be a very happy man.

[just remember Neil, if you're half as successful as Mike was, he'll have been twice as successful as you! - dr. dep. ed. ph.d.]

So many thanks, Mike for all your hard work over the last two years, the club has thrived thanks to your efforts. Mike has kindly offered to do a bit of coaching, in between sculling, drinking and taking the micky out of me.

Thanks also to "Technically Perfect" Chris Davidson who is stepping down as VC due to a blossoming career in dodgy telecom deals. Chris has been VC for 3 years now but has kindly agreed to continue as WSA, in between sculling and drinking and taking the micky out of me.

Lastly many thanks to Marj for her dedicated Deputy Captain work over the last 3 years, the power behind the throne apparently. We shall see as she has kindly volunteered to continue in the role for another year.

So your new captaincy is:

[all their email addresses can now be found on our contacts page - ed.]

Unlike most Captains who rush off on a long holiday the moment they relinquish their responsibilities, I have chosen to break with tradition and run away almost immediately. I have a 'holiday' that was booked long before I decided to stand for captain and so will be away from the 25th July (ie Monday) for 10 days, dragging some disaffected 'yooves' up mountains. I have no doubt that Marj and Stuart will do a superb job running the well-oiled [sic.] machine that is Cygnet RC in my absence. I think that everything is catered for whilst I'm away so for your information here's what's coming up for the rest of the season.

AUGUST:

SEPTEMBER:

OCTOBER:

NEW BOYS:

300 CLUB:

I'll do the traditional whinge about the state of the changing room/bike park some other time.

If you're still awake, get on with some work!

Neil.

Weekly News, 17/07

Dear all,

This is the last weekly news I'll send and hopefully we'll see lots of you at Tuesday's OGM to elect a new captaincy. Follow the link below to find my report to the OGM. Please take a few minutes to read it and bring any questions or comments with you.

http://www.cygnet-rc.org.uk/captrepogm190705.htm

Elsewhere Simon and Ben once again represented the club at the highest level. This time at last weekend's National Championship regatta in Nottingham. The guys had a great weekend, making Sunday's final via the repechage and proving themselves amongst the top club pairs in the country. They are off next week to enjoy a well-earned break (cycling a few of the Tour de France mountain stages - I know, I know) before the serious business of end-of-season pot hunting begins in earnest.

I'd like to congratulate Simon, Ben and Steve for the training and racing they've done as Cygnets over the last couple of years. Their commitment and hard work has been an example to us all and has helped raise the standard throughout the club.

THIS WEEK...

THURSDAY NIGHT

Can all those in the S2 eight be down for an outing promptly at 7pm. Can everybody else who's racing be done with outings by 8:30pm latest as we have a full trailer to load for St. Neots.

Many thanks all.

w/Rgds, Mike.

Lick Some Bloody Labels, 12/07

More from Nick "Psycho" Bates non-work-related internet surfing...

I don't want to add fuel to the fire that all I do is find interesting websites all day, but thought you could use this in some way to demonstrate to people where the boathouse is, keep an eye on people during days off...or something. It's highly impressive and you can even make yourself feel a bit sick by spinning it round... http://earth.google.com

My Secret Body, 12/07

Hmmm... We're thinking Wylie, Lambe, du Parcq, Cox and Simon French. Any better ideas?

Mike

If any of your boys are vain and want to be on TV read below. I would but I¹m away...

anthony

Anthony Cake Photographer

------ Forwarded Message

From: "Catherine Ellis" at Endemol UK
Date: Tue, 12 Jul 2005 17:43:03 +0100
To: anthonycake
Subject: My Secret Body...

Hi Anthony,
 
Lovely to speak to you earlier.
 
As I mentioned, I am working on a programme called My Secret Body for five
which is looking to find out what we all think about our bodies and see what
we really look like under the layers.

We are currently looking for a group of men to talk candidly about their
bodies and who would be confident enough to talk naked. We want to know what
you love, what you hate, what you obsess about, what you think about hair,
size, fat, feet, chests, bums - basically everything to do with the body.
We are particularly keen to film sportsmen because of the relationship you
have with your body.

We can pay a fee of £100 each and we are filming for a few hours this
Saturday, the 16th July in central London and it would be great to speak to
anyone interested in the programme.

My contact details are...
catherine.ellis@endemoluk.com

Take Care,
Catherine.

Weekly News, 10/07

Dear all,

Well done to all our racers at Kingston over the w/e. The novice four improved race-by-race and were scuppered on more than one occasion by equipment failure. Guy du P had some good N1x racing on Saturday, eventually coming 2nd in his repechage. Sunday afternoon's novice quads event saw Cygnet A and B fighting it out for 2nd and 3rd as Calpe (Gibralter) RC took 1st in the final.

No news on our Vets Henley competitors yet. Check the website during the week.

ORDINARY GENERAL MEETING

A final reminder of our OGM at 8:15pm on the 19th. Amongst other excitement we'll be electing a new captaincy team. Please make every effort to attend.

MOLESEY REGATTA SAT 16th

We just have a N4+ entered for this event next Saturday. Best of luck to them.

ST NEOTS SAT/SUN 23rd/24th

We're very close to selecting these crews and I'll chuck a note out by Wednesday at the latest. Can anyone who's availability has changed let me know immediately. http://www.cygnet-rc.org.uk/avail.xls.

THIS WEEK

w/Rgds, Mike.

Concept Deux, 09/07

This month's Concept2 newsletter can be found here.

Twenty Twelve, 09/07

All the jokes. All in one spot. Thank-you Rachel. [We particularly like Mastercard.JPG - ed.]

Kingston Draw, 06/07

The draw is up here. Check it carefully because not all our boats got in and not all those entered for both days are racing both days. Apologies to those who are missing out.

It's All Gone A Bit Pete, 05/07

Those of us on the committee who wondered what a "music label manager" did when we voted Nick Bates into the club can now rest easy. It would appear he really does punch that little hole in the middle before sticking them on, but in his spare time he trawls the web for trendy film clips.

http://www.globalgathering.co.uk

For those not in the know, Pete Tong is a DJ (think Terry Wogan in his prime). Bear with it - you might even recognise that graffitti (before Gibbons turned on the Super-Smudger).

Gonna Make U A Star, 05/07

As if winning his novice sculling pot hasn't given Mr. Bottomley a big enough head, now he's a bloody film star too...

I was down at the boathouse after work Thursday before last when the phone rang - I answered expecting lame excuses from some rower who couldn't make it because they had stubbed their toe (for example) ... However, it was from a TV company wanting rowers for filming the next day ... Initially they wanted a crew - given only a day's notice I said it was unlikely that even Civil Servants could be available at such short notice. The girl on the phone suggested that one sculler could be enough and that they would be willing to pay .... with the mention of cash I knew I could be instantly available and I could tell the girl was impressed when I told her I had a scooter (and as a result I could be at the boathouse within half an hour of leaving work) It was confirmed, all I had to do was row up and down a couple of times wearing a jacket, stunt helmet and sunglasses so that I looked like a character in their show - all sounded straight forward to me ...

The storms that flooded Glastonbury had so far held off. Arriving at the clubhouse it was still dry and after meeting the film crew, putting on the jacket, stunt helmet and glasses I boated. I headed up to the bridge to do my first row by when there was a sudden squall, followed by thunder and torrential rain - the film crew assistants just opened their umbrellas and carried on filming - it was great for them just added to the effect ... within seconds I was drenched and with the high tide, white horses appeared and I could see lightning all around - one more quick run and I was back in ... once inside and out of my wet clothes and having been given my cash I dared to ask what the program was ...

The show is called Balls of Steel. Enough said really. It's made by a company called Objective Productions, who have previously specialised in squirting Tom Cruise with water and entertainment clip-shows such as 'Movie Mistakes Uncovered' and 'Best Unseen Disasters', as well as magic shows such as 'Extreme Magic, Extreme Danger' and anything with Derren Brown in it. Hmmm - maybe next time I'll just let the phone ring ...

Weekly News, 03/07

Dear all,

Well the weekend just gone was a harsh test of the the fitness levels which we have built up over the season so far. Henley Thursday (for some), Henley Friday, the Lions Test, the Joint Clubs Regatta, Ze Vaddle, an evening of excess at AK and some late drinking at a private party in the boathouse bar proved to me at least that I can be very proud that Cygnet not only hold our own on the water but also lead the field off it (hic).

There will be lots of details on the website soon. Suffice to say that a VERY good time was had by all and (although they were thanked by many on Saturday night) I would like to add my thanks to Marj and Neil who were the driving forces behind what was a truly exceptional weekend.

I'd also like to thank French David for all his help during the club regatta. Most of it probably went unnoticed but he took many small weights off my shoulders - much appreciated.

HENLEY

Once again a big well done to Simon and Ben for the training and racing they have done up to and including Henley Royal this year. After a few days off I understand their next target will be the Nat Champs and then I hope they will join the rest of us for some fun racing (and winning) to round off their season. They, I and the rest of the club can feel very proud of their achievements. I was also pleased to see that Durham A won the Student Coxed Fours this year which I have no doubt will please the boys - neither of whom can quite accept the fact that they're not students any more!

KINGSTON REGATTA NEXT WEEKEND

Boat loading will be after outings on Thursday night. Can all those involved please come and help. The draw is out on Thursday I believe. A reminder of the crews below...

THIS WEEK

w/Rgds, Mike.

Henley Royal Wide-Awake Club, 30/06

The boys have an early start at 9:15am and may well have raced by the time many of you read this today. Take a look here to find out how they got on. Fingers crossed.

Sir Les Patterson, 29/06

We at the blog were pleased to hear that Ronnie's letter to the German Embassy informing of them of our celebratory weekend didn't go unnoticed and we are going to be honoured with the presence of the German Cultural Attache at the club regatta on Saturday.

Obviously I have sent out feelers into the darkest recesses of the Civil Service - the Home Office and the F&CO - and our top-secret man on the inside [French David - ed.] has come up with the following useless...erm...full information...

We need advice from Desk on lines to take, press briefing and agenda items to push. Protocol Section can advise on flags and anthems (don't mention the war). We need to be presented to her in order of superiority (you know, like height, erg scores, something like that). Plus we'll need Security Section to come down, case the joint, sniffer dogs (probably unwise).

Also, it might be more politically correct if we don't refer to Cygnet, BBLRC and Benrath, but rather "Blue", "Pink" and "Red".

With all that in mind we are recommending the following team leads for each section, briefings will be at 05:50 on Saturday morning...

The future of Anglo-German relations is safe in their hands. TEAM CYGNET - F**K YEAH!

Home Life Fun, 29/06

I am informed that a spring clean is required at Chez Collier (or should that be Salter - where are those deeds?).

Apparently I am to go through the house and anything that hasn't proved useful in the last 12 months should be thrown out.

Imagine Theresa's surprise when I suggested that with those criteria she might be the first thing to go!

OGM Bits, 28/06

Advance notice of the Cygnet OGM. Tuesday 19th July at 8:15pm. Here are the minutes of the last AGM and here is the OGM's agenda.

The G of the Go, 27/06

An update from Gavin outlining his Ironbridge adventures...

Ironbridge - a local regatta for local people. Highlights included :-

As you can see Saturday was quite eventful and after all that I lost the final to a child sculling prodigy.

Sunday was less eventful - no warnings and a pot to take home!

Weekly News, 27/06

Dear all,

More fantastic news hot off the press...

IRONBRIDGE REGATTA

I've just got off the phone with our very own Gavin Bottomley who travelled away to race his 1x at this regatta over the weekend and I'm pleased to be able to let everyone know that Gavin won his qualifying novice pot earlier today. Great news for Gavin who has been training hard for this. My only sadness is that the rest of us weren't there to see it. I expect to hear the bell ringing some time this week!

This win makes sweet sixteen for the club so far this year. Keep 'em coming boys.

HENLEY

The draw's out and the guys have London RC in the first round on Thursday. It should be a great race.

For those of you who have not been to Henley the enhanced train timetable can be found here. I will probably be on the 0920 (arriving 1025). If anyone would care to join me be prepared to drink very ropey Cava and laugh at my jokes.

THIS WEEK

Lots and lots happening this week so keep your eyes peeled for further email updates particularly where next w/e is concerned...

KINGSTON REGATTA

Entries will go in this week and I'll send an email with crews when they have. Apologies for the delay in this but I am aiming to get everyone who said they were available in a boat.

w/Rgds, Mike.

I Should Be So, 24/06

As Neil states in his email, Mike, I know that there is some piss to be taken so here's some ammunition. Let's get it over with. However I'm not too sure what caption I can add to the picture below which sums up the situation more succinctly than the boat name itself. Oh yes, I know...

Lucky bastard...

Very Fairy Story, 24/06

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin...

Once upon a time the Boathouse Chairman and the Boathouse Captain were taking the Boathouse Cow to market because the Boathouse Treasurer told them they needed more money to MOT the Boathouse Ute. On the way they met a Wizened Old Crone (ex-Barnes Bridge Lady) by the side of the road who gave them Six Magic Fibreglass Beans in exchange for the Boathouse Cow. The boys got in a lot of trouble when they got back and told the Boathouse Treasurer what they'd done. She threw the Magic Beans into the garden and stormed off. The boys, suitably chastened, went for a scull to the Pink House.

When they got back some time later they found...

Monday Night Din-Dins, 22/06

A message from Poppy regarding next Monday's post-ergo food...

Hi All,

Lovely to see those of you who came down for ergs and then stayed for dinner
last [Monday] night.  Annabelle and Bea will be cooking next Monday - please
let them know if you'd like food and if you're veggie.

Hope to see lots of you there - all welcome!  Mike please can you pass on to
the boys.

Poppy.

Race fees are still due from certain individuals. Please pay up.

EMAIL

Please note that I have now left Reuters so my reuters.com address will no longer work. Please use this one from now on.

REPEAT TO FADE

Because it makes me smile. Shamoh!

w/Rgds, Mike.

Marlow Regatta Draw, 13/06

The Marlow draw and timetable are now up here.

Weekly News, 12/06

Dear all,

Some good news, followed by a bit of a moan followed by what's coming up, so read on...

BARNES & MORTLAKE REGATTA...

Cygnet entered a record thirteen crews for Saturday's regatta and came away with two more S2 wins making 14 for the season so far. Ben and Simon won the qualifying pairs event taking them to S1 status as a crew and (most importantly) making them eligible for this years Henley Royal. A Cygnet v Cygnet S2 coxless fours final saw a close race between two well matched crews with age and tummies finally overcoming youth and six-packs. I don't know about the others but I enjoyed drinking from my pot through the afternoon. :-)

Race of the day had to be the Cygnet B v Putney Town pairs semi-final with PT taking an early lead. Cygnet settled in the middle of the race and rowed through their opposition and then held off a final charge to win by half a length. Well done to Marc and David on what was only their second outing together.

NATIONAL VETS...

Neil and Steve are at today's National Veterans Regatta at Holme Pierrepont racing in two composite quads and a composite double. Good luck to them. No results yet but you can check the website in the week. http://www.vetchamps.org.uk/

FANTASTIC NEWS JUST IN...

As you're aware Neil Jackson, Steve Otterburn and several vets from AK went up to the National Vets Regatta yesterday. Lots of exciting racing is reported, but best of all we have come away with gold in the VetG 4x event. The crew (from bow and rowing in our own Alan Cox) were Neil Jackson, Bernard Wills (AK), Dave Houston (AK) and Steve Aitken (AK).

Their next target is Henley Vets. Good luck to all.

MOAN...

Imagine my surprise, when helping to rack our new 1x (SCamp), to find a whole row of scrapes along the bow and stern. Also imagine my surprise to discover that a hole has been put into another of our 1x (Friends). Somebody must have done the damage yet nobody has told me anything about it. I'm not unrealistic about our boats, I want to see them all used and sadly that does mean they may get damaged occasionally. When that happens I expect to be told and I expect the damage to be noted in the incident book. Can whoever damaged SCamp and Friends please let me know. If people do damage boats, don't let us know and I find out about it then it might become necessary to ban them from using certain club equipment

COMING UP...

This week sees normal outings on Tuesday and Thursday. We have an elite pair and S2 coxed four racing at Marlow Regatta (Dorney) next Saturday and normal outings on Sunday.

Availability has not been great for Richmond Regatta on the 25th so we've decided not to enter any crews and give everyone a week off racing to prepare both mentally and physically for the following w/e. That's Henley Friday on the 1st July and then the Club Regatta, Vaddle and Benrath Party on the 2nd. Both days promise to be a blast and full details can be found on our website. Just click the 40 years on the beers link!

I'll be down on Tuesday. See you then.

w/Rgds, Mike.

High Concept, 10/06

This month's Concept2 newsletter can be found here.

Blind Spot, 10/06

Those of you that read the Tideway Slug have probably seen this already. Those that don't should take a look here. Those that believe the 6 seat to be superior to 3 should perhaps think again?

Nerds Unlimited, 08/06

Everything you wanted to know about rigging, but were afraid to ask.

The Action Never Stops, 07/06

Lots of Cygnet action on the RowTV website for Twickenham Regatta. You can relive the Cygnet A v Cygnet B final over, and over, and over, and over again.

A club like Cygnet!

And They're Off, 07/06

The order of racing is now up for Women's Henley Friday on the HWR website. Barnes Bridge are up at 11:00 against Bristol University and then race the winners of Thames A and Hatfield College (Durham) at 15:00. Go...Go...Go...The Bridge!

A Beautiful Thing, 06/06

It'll make your heart sing. Congratulations to BBLRC's Annabelle, Bea, Jo, Helen and Tina from all at the blog. Top drawer at the Met!

Weekly News, 06/06

Dear all,

An exciting weekend of racing at Peterborough Regatta saw Cygnet boats reach lots of finals/repechages (S24+, S22-, S32-, N1x) but sadly come away with no pots [flamin' students spoilin' my 100% record]. This regatta also marked the welcome return of our novice group who raced in coxed fours and double sculls. The few weeks spent back at the drawing board have paid off as the guys are now up at the pace they need to be to get their qualifying pots this year, so fingers crossed.

Elsewhere BBLRC had a stormer at the Met (Dorney) where their Women's Henley crew came away as the senior 3 coxed four winners. Our congratulations to them.

Latest news - lots of pictures from Peterborough have just turned up in my inbox, so keep an eye on the website in the next day or two.

BARNES AND MORTLAKE REGATTA...

Apologies for the late notice of entered crews for this Satuday's BMI. We've taken the approach of trying a few new combinations at this local regatta...

MARLOW REGATTA (18TH)...

Two Cygnet crews will be going to this multi-lane 2k regatta at Dorney. The first experience of this type of racing for some of the guys [and perhaps the last]...

COXLESS FOURS/QUADS...

There will be a slight change in fleet shape for the period up to the FISA World Masters Regatta, Strathclyde, 8th - 11th September. The Alan Cox will be used by the composite Cygnet/AK crew training for this event (along with the Nat. Vets and Vets Henley) so it has been re-rigged as a quad. Although these guys get first dibs this boat is available for others to use but it does need to stay as a quad.

AVAILABILITY...

Please send me your availability for the following July regattas...

The club will definitely be doing the Kingston and St. Neots weekends. I'm aware that we have been hitting the regattas quite hard so Molesey and HT&V will depend on how much interest is shown. Be warned, however, that St. Neots marks the last w/e regatta of my captaincy so I'd like as many Cygnets to come along as possible. Where selection for this regatta is concerned, I intend to go out laughing so hard, etc...

HENLEY AND THE GERMANS...

If you haven't already, remember to book Henley Friday off work, then Saturday is club regatta day, followed by a slightly controversial Vaddle to AK for the celebration dinner. Details on the website. When the going gets tough, ee...ee...eeeee...

FINALLY...

A big thank you to everyone who came along to Peterborough for working so hard to make the w/e such a success...

"I was so upset that I cried all the way to the chip shop
When I came out there was Gordon standing at the bus stop
And guess who was with him
Yeah Julie- and they were both laughing at me
oh, she is cruel and heartless
to pack me for Gordan
Just 'cause he's better looking than me
just 'cause he's cool and trendy 
but I know hes a moron, Gordon is a moron
Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron"...repeat to fade

w/Rgds, Mike.

Henley Training, 03/06

We at the blog take an holistic approach to training. It's not all about pulling ergos, lifting weights and stabilizing cores. It's also about finding your way to the station with seventeen jugs of Pimms in your belly. Try this workout. Our best is 75 Meter - so far!

Waddle Vaddle And Thrice Watscheln, 01/06

From our German correspondent...

The word 'waddle' has given rise to some interest here since it is a) nonstandard English and b) not part of normal RGB social activities. It translates into German as 'watscheln' - which may be similar to the way Cygnet members pronounce it towards the end of one.

Take a look here - it works on many, MANY levels!

Cygnet Big Brother House, 01/06

Due to a recent eviction a space has become available in the Cygnet Big Brother House, Chiswick annex. Answers on a postcard to French David c/o The Boathouse...

There'll be a spare room available in my flat in Chiswick shortly.
Dates are relatively flexible (probably whenever is mutually convenient
in June/beginning of July).  So if you (or someone you know who isn't a
fruitcake) think they could put up with the following, please give
me a shout:
        - Living with me.
        - 2 bedroom flat.
        - Chiswick/Turnham Green.
        - £500 pcm, not including bills.
        - 3 minutes from Turnham Green tube (District line + Piccadilly
          line late in the evenings).  Zone 2 (and 3).
        - Double-bedroom (there's also a spare box-room/study).
        - Large lounge, large kitchen, bathroom - over 2 floors.
        - Non-smoker.
        - It's off Chiswick High Rd, but it's not a through road so it's
          very quiet.  There's also on-street parking.
        - Close to the river - leafy West London etc, etc.
Cheers, French David.

...STRONG GEORDIE ACCENT ON...it's seven thirty two ay emm, smashin, and French David is sitting alone at the wee kitchen table because nobody wants to live with him, h'way...STRONG GEORDIE ACCENT OFF, etc, etc, etc.

Borough Draw, 31/05

Peterborough Regatta draw is now out here and all our boats are in.

Weekly News, 31/05

Dear all,

After a busy Bank Holiday, where more experienced rowers were showing off their skills at Dorney Lake during the World Cup, a brief note from me, as our Captain has been away. Lots of normal outings happened on Sunday and Monday, in preparation for the first weekend regatta of the season at Peterborough this coming weekend. The draw is not out, yet, but I will keep looking for it.

Plan for the rest of the week:

WEEKEND WITH BENRATH

T-SHIRTS: Last call for T-shirt orders: please note that we need to have the final numbers by the end of this week, so if you intended to put your name down but never got round to doing it, please do so NOW! An email to me will suffice - I will make a list.

SATURDAY EVENING DO: I am still selling tickets, and if you have already told me you wanted to buy some, please come and see me at the club. I always carry the tickets with me, but I would rather you have them! If you don't plan to be at the club anytime soon, you can also send me a cheque for the appropriate amount, as indicated on the invitation, and I will send you the tickets by return mail.

Marj.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T, 27/05

From the Nickelator, to the has-been...

Just seen my erg time from Tuesday is missing from the website - I must have forgotten to write it down - my time was 3:03.0. I don't like your name at the top of the list - it just looks wrong for some reason.

You Can't Be Too Careful, 27/05

We had our beloved Lucozade machine broken into yesterday, and we believe that the "perp" got in through an open window and then made their getaway through the main doors (both of which can quite rightly be opened from the inside even if locked from the outside, for safety reasons).

Can we please all remember a few tips on making the boathouse as secure as we can, but without going over the top and becoming paranoid.

1) If you are the last to leave, or even think you are the last to leave - close ALL windows in the changing rooms, remembering the ones at the back (as this is where we think the latest thief gained entrance).

2) Always lock the bar door if no one is using it, or if everyone is going out on the water.

3) Always make sure the inside code door closes behind you when entering or exiting.

4) If there is say only one crew going out, or you are a lone sculler, close the outside steel door behind you, even if you do not lock it, as it deters people from having a go at forcing the inside door.

5) If you see ANYONE suspicious, challenge them. Best to be a bit embarrassed than lose a load of valuables. Villains come in all shapes, sizes and ages and tend not to wear stripped T shirts with a swag bag over their shoulder.

The bottom line is that we do not have a lot of money sloshing around, and every time we have a break in, as well as being irritating, it costs us money that is better spent on say training facilities.

For the record, someone left the Gents toilet window open on Tuesday night / Wednesday morning (error no. 1), a few of us spotted it when we were down for early morning outings and then forgot to close it (error no. 2) and then the last person to leave (a different person again) failed to do a quick check upon leaving the boathouse (error no. 3). I made error no. 2 myself!!!

If I could ask for one thing from everyone, it would be to make sure windows and doors are shut at every opportunity, unless there are lots of people around.

Many thanks in anticipation.

Dave "Boathouse" Gledhill.

News From The RWC Front, 27/05

Did you know that our very own Mr. Leffler is working flat-out to make the current RWC Regatta at Dorney the success it has so far been. Here's an update...

I thought that a little news 'from the front' might be of interest. In an action packed week so far I've watched Dorney turned from something looking like a village fete to a serious out and out international world level regatta.

I've bumped (more or less literally on one occasion) into Jurgen Grobler and the great and the good of the GB Team management, exchanged manic grins with Tim Foster and been regaled with stories of his terrible launch driving. The Teams are now nearly all here and the boat racks are full. Not only that but the wind has abated and this afternoon was a bit of a scorcher. It's all coming together very nicely. There were a few problems early on associated with a new venue not tried at this level of competition before but in the end BT sorted out the ADSL links and Simon the photocopier man came and fixed my photocopier so I'm a happy bunny.

If you're putting out an email at all, would you just mention to the guys that there are still plenty of tickets available for all areas (Thursday and Friday) and for the enclosure on Saturday (grandstand sold out). The best advice is to travel early if driving or better still come on the train to Windsor & Eton Riverside (from Waterloo) or to Taplow (Paddington) and get the free shuttle bus from there. If driving go to Windsor racecourse and get the ferry across to the lake - its only a 2 minute ride - to avoid the worst traffic. Sorry, that all sounds a bit official but its sound advice even so.

I'd like to think that I'll bump into some of you at some point but in reality I'm stuck in the office at the back of the boathouse keeping FISA happy so I dont expect to get out much. Nothing new there then.

Newsletter Concept, 23/05

This month's Concept2 newsletter can be found here. You'll all be pleased to hear that entries are now open for the Indoor Rowing Champs on the 20th November at the Birmingham NEC. Go on, you know you want to...

Weekly News, 22/05

Dear all,

An exciting, if wet day of racing on Saturday saw three Cygnet scullers competing in Twickenham Regatta's novice event. Two progressed to the semis via row-overs, but sadly none reached the final, coming croppers to scullers from Kingston.

Our S2 coxed four went out in their semi to Thames B and our Vet D coxless four appeared (from under their rocks) for the first time this year. They had a 10-second start on their Vet C Thames opposition and managed to hold them off for a large proportion of the race before being overhauled a couple of hundred metres from the line.

Most excitingly a 7-boat entry for S2 coxless pairs saw both Cygnet A and Cygnet B make the final against tough opposition. Cygnet A had the better start and eventually won by a few lengths. It was great to see the club dominant in this category.

Congratulations to the BBLRC novice coxed four who won their qualifying pots on Saturday.

Sunday's BBLRC welcome BBQ was very well attended. Once again Nick Wyatt was able to unnerve/bore a former Olympian, a fat fire was successfully smothered, our novices were spotted with enough empty beer bottles to glaze a greenhouse and the new novice women decided that there may not be many single Cygnet men but that those that there are are of very high quality. Schmick!

THIS WEEK...

WORLD CUP...

Be aware that it is the initial World Cup regatta at Dorney this coming Thursday/Friday/Saturday so numbers rowing on these days will be reduced. I am on holiday over the bank holiday weekend.

FEEDING THE FIVE THOUSAND...

BBLRC have asked that we make a donation to their bread/milk fund since we seem to do very nicely out of it. I have added £2 to the race fees of those whom I think this best applies. I'll pass the money raised (about £50) to Barnes Bridge. Resistance is useless.

RACING...

A reminder to please send me availabilty for the June races after Peterborough Spring.  That's Barnes & Mortlake, 11th June and Richmond, 25th June.

w/Rgds, Mike.

Super-Nick, 17/05

Oh my lord he's been at it again. Not content with getting a first at UCL and knocking out one hour eighteen minute half-marathons he also finds time to pass on his experiences to all those pathetic new graduates who won't do nearly as well as him because they, much as they might want to be, are not SUPER-NICKERS!

We suspect that Adeline is secretly in love with him too!

What are we talking about (because I'm assuming [hoping - ed.] that you ain't a Mail on Sunday subscriber), well take a look here and bask in his reflected magnificence.

Weekly News, 15/05

Dear all,

A fantastic racing weekend saw two silver medals (elite and S2) for Simon and Ben in their pair at London Docklands Regatta and, closer to home, two wins at Putney Town Regatta - one for our S2 coxed four (Marc, David, Nick, Neil, Marj - see right with Ronnie Lambe) and one for our composite VetF double (Neil Jackson, Steve Otterburn).

These results brings our tally of wins to 11 for the season so far. In four weeks of racing we have already achieved more wins than the whole of last season put together!

Our novices are also training very hard and did double outings on Saturday and a very long outing with Pete on Sunday (all followed by runs/ergos/etc). They will next be racing at Peterborough Spring in a 4+ and 2x.

THIS WEEK...

Can all racing crews please load their boats on Thursday evening after outings. We have 8 crews racing. The draw should appear here in the next day or so. Good luck to all.

BENRATH 40TH ANNIVERSARY T-SHIRTS...

Please take a look at the 40th Anniversary page on the website for all the latest details. If you would like one of the long-sleeved t-shirts please get your name on the list on the changing room wall.

WELCOME BBQ...

There will be a welcome BBQ for new BBLRC members at the boathouse next Sunday 22nd from midday onwards. All Cygnets have been invited and are encouraged to attend. Hopefully see you there.

I'll be down on Tuesday.

w/Rgds, Mike.

Hammersmith Bridge Hazard Warning, 13/05

Received yesterday over the grapevine. Please take care, particularly if on the way to (or back from) PT Regatta on Saturday...

...just to let you know that sitting in my office looking out over H'Smith Bridge the PLA or the salvage people have dropped a couple of those big yellow cages into the river on the opposite bank from the club - at a half tide level they probably won't be visible and could rip the backside out of a boat hull if someone went over one without seeing it. You might want to warn everyone to take extreme care in the stretch from Hammersmith Bridge round to St Paul's - can only see two from where i am but there may be more further round too...

Rec.Sport.Rowing, 11/05

Know about rec.sport.rowing? Give it a go...

Dipping Our Toes In The Water, 11/05

Saturday's Borne Regatta proved an interesting day for all Cygnets concerned. First up were Alan and Mike in their novice single sculls. They marshalled in what were truly awful conditions just downstream of Chiswick Bridge only to find that all their TSS opposition had sculled up to Kew Bridge where they thought the start would be! After a bit of a wait they eventually found their way back, although one of them thought conditions so poor that he promptly scratched and headed back to the boathouse. That left Alan with a row-over to get into the final. Sadly he didn't make it, capsizing about three-quarters of the way up the coarse. Equally sadly Mike's opponent wanted a race so they lined up with waves breaking over their sterns...and were off.

Pretty level off the start it took Mike quite a few strokes to realise that he was actually going faster than his opponent (when he wasn't catching crabs). Most of the race progressed in this way...Mike would draw level, catch a crab, drop a length and then make it up. With only a few strokes to go to the line he felt he could win with a couple of big ones. So he took a deep breath, tried to relax, dropped his blades in and...SPLOSH.

Sadly the rescue boat was a bit slow on the scene as it was still dealing with Alan (from the previous race), but the kindly marshall took his boat and allowed Mike to doggy paddle with some dignity to the shore. There's nothing more demeaning than having to wish your opponent good luck in the final while your head is bobbing a few feet from his strokeside blade as he sculls for home.

In other news Chris "Ouch My Toe" Davidson scratched from his S4 single race because he stubbed his toe whilst getting out of bed, the Wyatt/Pickford pair got bumped up to S1 and met a couple of giants from MAABC and the Vet F Jackson/Otterburn juggernaut continued to rumble with a 3 length win over AK/Vesta and Bewl Bridge.

Full results can be found on the Borne@Chiswick Bridge website.

The picture above shows a certain Cygnet member who has convinced himself that winning is not about training or racing but about who's photo you can sneak yourself into. Fishin' anyone?

Weekly News, 09/05

Dear all,

Another win at Borne on Saturday for Neil Jackson and Steve Otterburn's vet double. Elsewhere a couple of scullers fell in and Chris stubbed his toe. Nothing very exciting really. I don't want to talk about it.

The double's win marks Cygnet's 7th victory in the first regattas of the season. Long may it continue.

THIS WEEK

PUTNEY TOWN REGATTA

The following crews are racing next Saturday 14th

ROSSLYN PARK FLOODLIGHT SEVENS

Yes folks it's that time of year again. No plan, just come along if you fancy some beer, burgers and hot rugby action. Come when you can, leave when you want and bump into each other in the bar or by the pig roast.

Wednesday 11th May, kick off at 17.00, final at 10.30, just 5-minutes walk from Barnes station (turn right after leaving the station).

GRIMSHAW-IN-THE-BAR

Dave and Ruth are back for a visit. Come and say hello on Thursday (Dave will be polishing the glasses for old-times sake) from 8pm in the boathouse bar.

BBQ 22ND MAY

A date for your diary. BBLRC are hosting a BBQ at the boathouse on the afternoon of the 22nd. Primarily intended as a welcome to their new batch of novices all Cygnets are invited to erm, erm, erm, come and take a look, I mean take part. Yes I do.

See you on Tuesday.

w/Rgds, Mike.

RG Benrath 40th Poster, 06/05

The official poster has been launched and you can view it here. There will soon be a dedicated page on this website detailing everything about the upcoming 40th anniversary celebrations - watch this space.

Borne, 06/05

The official Borne draw is now available. See our Links page, Regattas section.

Hamming It Up, 04/05

Our victorious S2 4+ at Hammersmith a couple of weeks ago: Neil, Nick, Ben, Simon and Marj. Ben and Simon also won the S2 2- event at the regatta. At this point Ben has had half a shandy and no longer knows what day of the week it is. Your editor is just out of shot, sprawled at their feet in a drunken stupor (but he does know what day it is).

Wallingford Regatta, 03/05

In the photo below Simon French (bow) and Ben Green lead the S22- final at Wallingford last Sunday. The guys eventually lost to AKRC (right) by a length. See below for a slightly edited match report from our roving reporter and click here for RowTV video from the regatta.

S2 final: Cygnets' early lead against the pre-race danger crew Marlow (based on Ben's and my observations on the paddle up to the start) and the rest of the pack looked like being enough as at halfway we held a length and a half lead over AK with Marlow and the rest way off the pace, however AK began to creep and with 200 to go drew level and held us off by a length in a race to the line.

Elite semi: Fearing carnage in our 'loaded' semi-final, some of our opposition (Upper Thames and UL Tyrian) scratched leaving Leander x2 (says Star and Arrow on the results but the boys were quite clearly wearing Cerise!), Molesey (2 winners of Henley last year) and London (world championship lwt with stroke of their 1st VIII) in the draw so it was left to Cygnet to face the cream of British rowing! Not being able to get on the stakeboat we incurred the glares of the coaches and fellow oarsmen alike but when we finally made it and the flag fell Cygnet raced into a length lead by 500m leaving confused looks both on and off the water. Cue a fight back by Molesey and Leander but we held on to 3rd place and a potential place in the final till the last 100m at which point the exertions of the earlier race took their toll and we were edged out.

Despite no silverware the guys were reported to be looking good and they appear to be moving their boat well. Next up is the Docks.

Weekly News, 03/05

Dear all,

AVAILABILITY

Can those who haven't already please send me availability for the following regattas as soon as possible (particularly the novices):

NEWS

Two more wins at Chiswick Regatta on Saturday as Cygnet stormed home in a composite veteran double and quad. In addition the S2 coxed four continued to be competitive coming a very close second to St. Georges College in their final. New novice single sculler Alan Cannavo tasted racing for the first time and although he had a few steering issues he'll be back for more at Borne (Alan got in a single for the first time at the recent sculling camp). Our novice four were knocked out in their heat as were our S2 coxless four who lost a re-row after Lea were disqualified for clashing.

Congratulations to BBLRC for their first win of the season. They won S3 eights at Chiswick on Saturday. Although technically a win for Barnes Bridge I am claiming a moral Cygnet victory as Steve Keating has been coaching the crew for the last couple of months.

Elsewhere Simon French and Ben Green tasted multi-lane racing for the first time this season as they competed in their pair at Wallingford on Sunday. They came a VERY close second in the S2 final, losing by a length to AK over 1,500 metres. They also entered the elite event, coming 5th in their heat.

Sunday and Monday saw large sculling pods go afloat from the boathouse. Sculling to Richmond lock they practised starts and side-by-side pieces. All reported having a lot of fun.

THIS WEEK

BORNE REGATTA

The following crews are racing next Saturday 7th (sadly there was no race for the S24+).

w/Rgds, Mike.

Concept2 Newsletter, 01/05

The latest Concept2 newsletter can be found here. Also don't forget to consult the Tideway Slug and New Rowing Information pages for all the latest news in the rowing world. Links to both under the "Friends" heading over to the left (TSlug & NRInfo).

An Inner Core Of Pure Evil, 29/04

Having recently (and against all better judgement) agreed to a joint bank account I wasn't surprised to receive an e-mail yesterday containing instructions which I am to follow when doing laundry from now on. Apparently I have to pay particular attention to the "sorting" section - http://apparelandfootwear.org/cffiles/146.cfm. Personally I don't see anything wrong with bluey-pink knickers!

I have booked myself in to have my knob cut off next week. It will look much more fetching hanging from a nail on the wall.

Safe Tee, 25/04

In a slightly more serious tone than usual two incidents took place recently which could happen to any of us and from which a few lessons might be learned.

The first was a rigger-to-rigger collision at, or very near, slack tide at Chiswick Bridge. Rowing at the bottom of the tide is always a slightly dangerous time since one crew's opionion of what the tide is doing and where they should be may well differ from another's. If this is the case when you are out you must be extra vigilant, perhaps stop and do some exercises until things have sorted themselves out. Two boats colliding at speed can cause a lot of damage to flesh and fibreglass and can usually be avoided with extra care at low tide.

The second was a capsize prior to the S3 2- final at Hammersmith Regatta on Saturday. I paste David's incident report in full below as it contains a lot of useful information and insight...

Boated at 4.15pm, ebb tide, relatively high water, en route to regatta 
course.  Capsized in centre of stream, approx midway between Bandstand and 
Chiswick Pier [immediate thoughts: 1) "Mike's going to crucify us on the 
blog"; 2) "we can still make the final"; 3) "oooof, it's cold"].  No other 
boats involved, no steering issues - just a balance issue, and an 
inapropriate 'exercise' (single stroke to front-stops).  [a bit surprised 
how easy it was to capsize a pair - but very surprised at how quickly it 
went all the way over - much quicker than a single (and I speak as one who 
knows)].  We checked each other were okay, and then swam the boat towards 
the Middlesex shore [chose Middlesex because it was closer - in hindsight we 
might have looked for somewhere easier to reboat, but again in hindsight, it 
wouldn't have made much difference].  Swam it to the shore [long and 
exhausting, all the while getting pushed towards Chiswick Pier].  Umpire's 
launch arrived as we reached the shore, safety boat arrived shortly after. 
Umpire checked who were were and that we were okay.  Shore was very steep 
and slippery, but we managed to right the boat [we were knackered, and it 
took most of our strength, lighter crews might have struggled].  Safety boat 
tried to help, but were hampered by a) their boat, a small RIB, being too 
high and unsuitable; and b) not knowing much about rowing boats (holding the 
stern doesn't help stability much).  Umpire remained with us until we were 
safely back in [we said we were okay, but it was reassuring nonetheless]. 
Confirmed that we wanted to race, and Umpires arranged for our race to be 
brought forward so that we could start straight away so we didn't get too 
cold.  Raced, returned to the club, showered, oarsmen and boat fine. 

[Generally - although it was mainly just injured pride (and losing in the 
final), it was generally a much hairier episode than when I've swam before. 
Swim to the shore took ages in a very fast stream, and we may have had to 
call for help, particularly if we hadn't had the launches around on account 
of it being a regatta.  Looking forward to racing at the next regatta 
though...] 

Weekly News, 25/04

Dear all,

HAMMERSMITH REGATTA

We didn't do things by halves on Saturday. The highs included wins in S2 4+ and S2 2-, and composite wins (with AKRC) in Vet EFG 4- and 2x. The lows included scratchings, capsizings, clashes and (in some cases) far too much booze drunk! With Esme's help we also blooded 4 new novices who I hope will do well this year.

Full results can be found on our website.

CHISWICK REGATTA SATURDAY

The next regatta of the season is Chiswick on Saturday. Our entries are:

WALLINGFORD REGATTA SUNDAY

The first Dorney multi-lane regatta of the season next Sunday sees Simon French (bow) and Ben Green competing at Elite and Senior 2 in their coxless pair. AKRC have kindly agreed to trail the boys down and I wish them luck in what looks a really top-level club regatta.

A link to both regattas (including draws) can be found on the Links page of our website.

THIS WEEK

BENRATH CELEBRATIONS 1ST/2ND JULY

Things are coming together for our 40th anniversary celebrations in July so get the dates in your diary and book the Friday off work for a trip to Henley Royal Regatta with the rest of the club. Celebratory t-shirts will be on sale soon.

I'll be down on Tuesday, see you then.

w/Rgds, Mike.

The Instability Of A Single With An Element Of Teamwork, 24/04

Hammersmith Regatta (yesterday) marked a spectacularly eventful start to the 2005 racing season for Cygnet. Scratchings, clashes, capsizings and four event wins (from seven entered) were the order of the day as we loaded the event with quality at one end and high farce at the other

Esme coxed a brand new novice crew through their first ever race in the morning. The guys lost to a good Thames crew (who went on to take the event) and a crew from Mortlake. Although a bit off-the-pace they reported an enjoyable row and seem ready now to put in the work required to win.

The senior two coxless boat had a clash with LSE very shortly after the start allowing Thames to take an unassailable lead, while the senior 3 pair beat Emmanuel College in their heat to earn a place in the final against Shiplake College.

Always reliable for a pot or two the Cygnet/AK vet composites (this time in a 4- and 2x) gave the club their first wins of the day beating Bewl Bridge in both events, excitingly by just a canvas in the double.

Mr. French and Dr. Naylor turned up for their S3 pairs final slightly damper than they had hoped after some highly technical catch exercises caused their boat to inexplicably turn over (the instability of a single without an element of teamwork). Unperturbed they put up a good showing in the final but lost to Shiplake by about 3 lengths.

Watched by some very fat, old, drunk people some very fit, young, sober people rowed to victory in S2 pairs and coxed fours. Their results were never in much doubt.

Hoorah!

Big Nerdy, 20/04

It would appear that Dr. French and Mr. Barrows have a competitor for club nerdy-nerdy-nerd-nerd. Dr. Baldwin has some kind of correspondence doctorate from the University of Rummidge and recently sent your long-suffering editor the following...

Mike,

Just been scanning my latest purchase from Amazon - "Rowing Faster" - (I
know - the boys in the office have already given me jip and said maybe I
should think about getting fitter - simple) and it really is all very
simple.  According to the book "Rowers can optimize average boat
velocity by maximising the propulsive contribution of each rower while
manipulating crew dynamics to reduce the amplitude of velocity
fluctuations and decrease the period of negative boat acceleration".
Simple!

Marc.

We were fortunate enough to watch Marc rowing at close quarters last night. Sadly his propulsive contribution was poor and his amplitutes were Everestine. Apparently not so simple?

Tideway Scrubbers Head, 18/04

Whilst waiting for the off in the TSS head a week-or-so ago we found ourselves watching the blessing of Charles and Camilla's wedding on the TV. Lord Of All Hopefulness came pounding through the organ pipes and off we went...

The Tideway Scullers Head, Anon.
(to be sung to the tune of Lord Of All Hopefulness)

My marshalling instructions I've dropped in the Thames
The tide is a-rising, I'm going round the bend
They told me four thirty, it's now five oh one
Those arseholes at Scullers, it's all a big con

The wind's not abating, white horses I see
Yet the first of the racers is flying past me
I'm drifting between a large log and oil drum
They're calling me forward, I need a large dram!

The umpire said "GO" quite a while ago
Yet Barnes Bridge is nowhere in sight yet I know
I've already caught a humungous crab, and
My sphincter's as tight as Scottish man's hand

There's several novices closing on me
But I won't be caught by one hundred and three
There go Tideway Scullers and two men from Yare
But Put-a-ney Town don't stand half-of-a-prayer

Some considerable time later at Hammersmith Bridge
My body is shaking like a malfunctioning fridge
The fear it has gripped me, I cannot go on
But being inspirational's what my captaincy's built on

The black buoy's approaching, I must start my push
But the muscles in my legs feel like two sacks of mush
Two more crabs they grab me with many to see
But I don't really care Lord, Christ I need a pee

The row back's a nightmare, the launch wash obscene
My Bergashell's leaking, my pants are not clean
Fit girls scull right past me, but I do not leer
I'm too old for this s**t, get me a f*****g beer

Weekly News, 18/04

Dear all,

I don't know about everybody else but after a week of sculling, coaching, eating, (ahem) drinking and not lighting any bonfires I'm absolutely shattered.

SCULLING CAMP

It goes without saying that sculling camp was another great success. Chris, Poppy and Theresa worked very hard on safety, sculling and food. I got under everyones' feet.

The main objectives for the camp were to get everyone competent in singles and to pass on the ARA method of coaching to senior members of both clubs. With a few exceptions (and after 13 capsizings and many "incidents" with moored pleasure craft) pretty much all attendees are at a point where I am happy to let them loose in supervised groups on the Tideway. Then by Sunday morning my coaching services were no longer required as senior Cygnet and BBLRC members took over and churned out single scullers at the rate of about two an hour. Infact my record for capsizing scullers was so poor that new victims were actively requesting that I didn't coach them.

Some Sculling Camp Awards

Full details (including the draw) can be found at http://www.hammersmithregatta.org. Good luck to all.

NEW SINGLE SCULL

We picked up and named the latest addition to the fleet last week. Our new 1x is called Cygnet Sculling Camp (aka Scamp) and joins the rest of the newest boats in each class in that it is not available for general use but only with explicit permission from one of the captains. The full list of these boats are...

THIS WEEK

I'll be down on Tuesday.

w/Rgds, Mike.

Weekly News, 11/04

Dear all,

In Mike's absence (he's not online, in the bungalow), a brief report from me.

Saturday saw a variety of boats out on the river, now that the eight has been put on the shelf: a coxed four, a coxless four and two pairs. Following that, Mike experimented again with what he has been told is the correct way of dealing with novices. This time he had two victims for his single scull-on-a-lifeline session, making them do all kinds of weird things like standing up in the scull on one leg. With only one of the chaps falling in, it obviously is the way forward. After this excitement, it was a bit of a wait for the tide to make its way in, and then turn again, so that the Tideway Scullers Head could get on its way at 4:30pm. Well done by Chris Davidson, Mike Collier and Neil Jackson who all represented Cygnet. They all completed the course and came back dry, but the official results have not appeared on the website yet (I have just looked).

Sunday started a bit later, but with a coxless four, 2 pairs, a double and a novice on loan to BBLRC plenty of people were out in the sunny weather. The double had a very short outing, as it capsized when the chaps involved came forward for their first stroke.

This week's training will be less organised, if that is possible at Cygnet.

Finally, a note from me as your Entries Secretary.

If you want to be entered in regattas, please ensure your ARA membership is up to date. Now that the Online ARA Entries system is brought online, a multitude of regattas only accept online entries and if you're not a member of the ARA, I cannot enter you! This also requires us to pay on entry, so please keep a close eye on your credit on Mike's spreadsheet and stay ahead. Don't rely on Mike sending out reminders but give him a cheque every now and then instead!

Any questions, please let me know.

Marj.

Bungalow Directions, 08/04

All you need to know is just a click away (MS Word format).

Concept2 Newsletter, 08/04

The latest Concept2 newsletter can be found here.

Are You Ready, 07/04

Dear all,

While Chris and Esme work hard to organise the official sculling camp weekend (16th and 17th) I thought I would let you know what's happening between Sunday 10th and Friday 15th for all those people coming down early. Here's a rough timetable of non-sculling activities.

Single sculls and ARA qualified coaching will be available all day, every day. That actually sounds better than it is.

For those sculling Monday to Friday remember LOTS of changes of clothes and LOTS of layers.

Crack boom shimmy shimmy.

I'm very excited.

Are you?

Mike.

Sigh, 07/04

When poor befuddled Medium Mike Collier attended ARA Rowing Club Captaincy College he was told that he could expect unbridled hero-worship and pretty girls (in flowery summer frocks, straw in their hair, etc.) falling at his feet.

Two years on and the reality hasn't quite met the expectation.

Everybody seems to know more than him, his ergo scores are slipping and he had to trip up the one girl who showed any interest (and he's long suspected she may only be using him as some kind of social work case study).

Two years ago he thought he'd be fighting off oarsmen begging him to be in their boats for Henley. Now he feels like the kid with two left feet when the teams are picked at school and the only boat he's allocated is the launch (and then only when nobody else wants it).

"I know", he thought, "I'll learn to scull and enter races with other people who nobody wants to row with, that'll show them what I'm made of". So he trained and trained and spent many thousands of pounds on equipment he doesn't really understand in an effort to go faster and come the day of his first big sculling head race does he receive supportive e-mails wishing him luck? Does he b******s!

Note that he's been drawn 101 in Saturday's TSS Head. Just so you know (you may not have a Ph.D. in wasp fart scatterization in sub-tropical North-Eastern Guatemala) George Orwell wrote a book called 1984 and the guy starting at 102 did the African Olympic qualifiers, which is nice!

From: Anon. Cygnet Oarsman (clue - overinflated sense of own intelligence)
Sent: 06 April 2005 17:02 
To: Mike Collier 
Subject: Sculler's head draw 

"'You asked me once,' said O'Brien, 'what was in Boat 101.  I told you 
that you knew the answer already.  Everyone knows it.  The thing that is 
in Boat 101 is the worst thing in the world.'"  

From: Anon. Cygnet Oarsman (clue - cheats at crosswords and capsizes sculls)
Sent: Thu 07/04/2005 09:21 
To: Mike Collier 
Subject: RE: Sculler's head draw
        
How does it feel for a new guy to be as good as you in a single scull 
after a couple of weeks? 

Scrubbers, 06/04

The Tideway Scullers Head draw is now available here.

Weekly News, 04/04

Dear all,

Saturday morning saw a motley collection of Cygnets gather in the bar and go through some ideas for the upcoming season. All are being encouraged to scull and row in small boats to improve technique and finesse and availability has been taken for the first four regattas. The guys went afloat in singles, pairs and quads over the weekend with Steve and I coaching on Saturday.

THIS WEEK...

SCULLING CAMP BOAT LOADING...

Many hands, etc. so can everyone who is coming along to sculling camp please help with loading between 11:30am and 1:30pm next Sunday. Boats will be trailed down on Sunday afternoon ready to hit the water first thing on Monday morning.

TIDEWAY SCULLERS HEAD SATURDAY 4:30PM...

Cygnet will be represented by Chris Davidson, Neil Jackson and me. My top-secret race plan involves looking stately and not falling in.

ARA INSTRUCTORS AWARD AND NEW NOVICES...

Freshly enthused from my recent ARA Instructors Award course (yes, I passed) I decided to try their recommended method for coaching new novices - straight into a single scull! New member Nick Bates was used as a guinea pig on Saturday morning. It was his first time on the water. By the end of the session he was standing on one foot in the boat and waving to a fascinated audience (many of whom were hoping for some swimming action). His confidence in the scull progressed further in one session than many of our more experienced oarsmen and when the safety line which attached him to the bank accidentally, erm, snapped and he started floating to Putney he calmly assumed the safety position and then rowed himself back to the shore. I'm planning to introduce all new members in this way from now on (not the safety line bit). During sculling camp I'm keen to show current members the methods I've learned so that we can all help coach novices in this way. It's important to spread the love!

That's your lot. I'll be down on Tuesday.

Mike.

Fever, 31/03

Re-live Gold Fever on-line (or go out and do something less boring instead).

Stand-N-Stare, 28/03

Was I seeing things today? Sarah R. standing up in a single scull? Blimey!

Weekly News, 28/03

Dear all,

I hope everyone had an enjoyable Easter break.

The regatta season is fast approaching with Hammersmith kicking things off on the 23rd April. With that in mind I thought it would be a good idea to get everybody together next Saturday for a chat about what we want to do and what training is required for the summer season.

INITIAL AVAILABILITY...

Could you check your availability for the following regattas and let me know by next Saturday:

THIS WEEK...

CAPSIZE DRILL THIS SATURDAY...

Those of you at the boathouse this weekend probably noticed the ARA instructors award course taking place. As part of this we will be holding a single scull capsize drill and swim test at Putney Leisure Centre pool this coming Saturday at 5:20pm. It's open to any Cygnets who haven't done one before and I would recommend it to all planning to come to sculling camp. Please let me know if you're interested so I can gauge numbers.

SCULLING CAMP...

A reminder that sculling camp weekend is the 16th/17th April. Some of us will be at the bungalow from the 10th and members of both clubs are welcome to come down to scull between the 11th and 15th but they must let me know first. I would encourage everyone to come along on the 16th and 17th as the bungalow provides a safe and enjoyable environment in which to learn to single scull. Sculling camp is a Davidson Enterprises event. Lord help us.

I'll be down on Thursday this week. Hopefully see you then.

Mike.

Head Shots, 22/03

Lots of photos appearing all over the place. Here, here, here, and here.

Pickford's A Winner, 21/03

See page 9 of this month's regatta magazine to find out why.

Weekly News, 21/03

Dear all,

Another packed weekend at the boathouse saw two Cygnet eights competing in Saturday's HoRR. Cygnet I came 134th overall in 19:49 and Cygnet II 365th in 22:10. The first eight were slightly disappointed with their result as they had hoped for a top 100 spot, but it's worth noting that this was Cygnet's highest finish since 1996. The second eight was a mix of the old and the new and Chris and Esme did a fantastic job of bonding the guys together and getting them to row with real spirit - they had a very enjoyable day.

Before I get any more stick can I publicly apologise for this.

Sunday's Vets Head also saw two eights go afloat. The Cygnet crew could only row for a time because of a last-minute category change. If placed they would have come a respectable 60th overall in 21:47. The Cygnet/BBLRC Vet A composite faced tough opposition in their category but rowed well to finish 101st overall in 22:50.

Once again we were pleased to see our friends from Benrath who came 357th in 21:59 on Saturday and 73rd in 22:02 on Sunday. Sunday afternoon saw movers and shakers from both clubs plotting the summer's 40th anniversary celebrations over a couple of beers. I'm not sure what was decided but it promises to be a fun, if slightly hazy, weekend.

TRAINING...

The major heads mark the end of winter training for the club. Over the next few weeks (until it's light enough to row in the evenings) normal training nights will be Tuesday and Thursday. We'll decide each session on the night but will probably add a run to the ergo for a bit of variety.

I've put a summer plan on our website blog with some ideas for training and a list of events over the summer. Take a look and we'll arrange a summer season kick-off meeting in a couple of weeks to go through what we all want to do.

THIS WEEK...

Greg still owes us a couple of evenings and has offered to lead an outdoor track session at Barn Elms on Wednesday evening. Meet at the boathouse at 7pm for a jog across the bridge. It sounds like it'll be a lot of fun.

BOAT RACE REMINDER...

Remember that it's the Boat Race next Sunday at 3pm. The club is a great spot to watch the action but get across the river by 1:45pm as Barnes Bridge is closed early for the race.

NEW BOAT FOR THE FLEET...

After the success of last year's new pairs we've decided to enhance the club's small-boat fleet further with a new heavyweight single scull. I placed the order for a 90k Janousek boat last Friday. It should be with us by sculling camp.

A Janousek is a step up in quality from our current Burgashells and this boat is intended for the more serious scullers intending to race over the summer.

AND FINALLY...

I have been really pleased with the commitment, spirit and attitude to training at the club over the last 6 months. We should all be proud of what we've achieved both on and off the water and I'd like to say thank you to everyone who has put so much into the winter sessions. It's a real pleasure to be on the captaincy of such an enthusiatic club.

w/Rgds, Mike.

The Never-Ending Story, 17/03

Cygnet Summer Plans 2005

Mike Collier, March 17th 2005.

Training

Standard club training times will be:

As in the winter, training at these times will be based on showing up and being put in boats. It is important that we can all row together and on both sides because only very few of our crews will be consistent all summer. Flexibilty is the key.

Additionally crews in training can use Monday and Wednesday nights for outings. Friday would usually be a rest day, particularly if racing at the weekend, but if you're very keen please go ahead.

In addition I would like all active members to complete a weekly 1,000 metre ergo test and give me the time. That's somewhere between three and four minutes for most of us and could be done as a crew before outings on Tuesday (or Thursday) evenings. Remember to warm up really well before doing the test as things can go twang very easily, particularly at my age.

Coaching

We will continue to share Nick Rowett with BBLRC and I will fill in the gaps. We will also use senior members of the club on an ad-hoc basis.

Some Club Targets

Safety

We still take seriously the safety of very nearly all of you.

Coxless boats may only be taken out by approved steersmen. The list is on the changing room notice board. If you're not on it but think you should be please see myself, Marj or Chris.

Evening outings must be completed by sunset. We'll be using the BBC weather website for sunset times. The large orange orb in the sky is for guidance only.

Potential Racing

As with last year we will take availability and select crews far enough in advance of each regatta to ensure entry. For those of you that have never raced fees tend to be about £8 per event per regatta. That means (for example) that if you double-up on both days at Peterborough you're looking at about £32. For away regattas we also charge a towing fee to cover petrol, etc. Most regattas are over approximately 1,000 metres. The club does not supply condoms at weekend events, but judging by previous years that shouldn't be an issue.

Weekly News, 14/03

Dear all,

We took our two HoRR boats to Kingston Head on Saturday where both performed well in blustery conditions. A lot was learnt by both crews which I hope will stand us in good stead this coming weekend.

The first eight went out again on Sunday accompanied by a small flotilla of coxless boats. We were also pleased to see a fresh batch of talent turn up for Barnes Bridge's taster day (more on the blog).

Once again we hosted two RAF crews on both Saturday and Sunday. Their coach asked me to pass on their thanks to all at Cygnet who made them feel so welcome once again.

THIS WEEK...

The good news is that this week marks the end of formal winter training at the club. All the hard work we've done over the winter is aimed at Saturday's HoRR and I think the fitness that most in the squad have built up will stand us in good stead come the regatta season. If you look back at last October's ergo scores and compare them with today's then the improvement is easy to see. Winter training has been hard this year but working together and measuring our progress makes it easier, more rewarding and crucially fosters confidence at the upcoming regattas. I now know who I want in my boat when I'm half a length down with 500 to go - the only problem is I don't think they want me! So...

SATURDAY'S HoRR...

Crew meeting times will be circulated later this week. For anyone not racing please make the effort to come down. 420 men's eights racing past is quite a spectacle and (as always) there are jobs to be done, cake to be eaten and tea...well actually...beer to be drunk (unless you're an old b*****d and required for Sunday's Vets Head).

SUNDAY'S VETS HEAD...

Would all those taking part please be at the boathouse at 9:30am. The race starts at 11am.

BOATHOUSE EXEC AGM TONIGHT AT 8PM...

Most of the committee posts have nominations with a good mix of hard-working Cygnets and Barnes Bridge Ladies which bodes well for yet another successful joint year.

INFINITY AND BEYOND...

Although winter training is over the work doesn't stop. Focus simply switches away from seven kilometres of agony to 1,000 metres of pain.

Regatta season training will commence on Tuesday 22nd March, 7pm at the boathouse with a captain's invitation ergo and run. Roll up, roll up - all the "fun" of the fair!

That's it. See you tonight or Tuesday.

w/Rgds, Mike.

Kingston Head Results, 13/03

Saturday's Kingston Head results are now up here. Neither eight reported their best rows but the race was a useful bedding-in exercise for next week's HoRR.

Tasty, 13/03

We were pleased to see a virgin batch of ladies turn up for today's Barnes Bridge taster day.

Their packed timetable started with tea, cake and a chat in the club room. They then progressed to the shed for some light arms-only rowing on the ergos. This was followed by more tea and cake and then a gentle paddle in the tank where proceedings had to be brought to an abrupt halt when one of the ladies was spotted visibly perspiring. Tea and cake soon brought the situation back under control and the girls finished their session with a nice cup of tea and slice of cake.

Many of the ladies were subsequently spotted loitering near the shed. Apparently Ben Green was lifting heavy weights with his one-piece rolled down. A couple of them actually missed their trains!

We at the blog would like to suggest a small addition to future taster days. The girls should probably try beer and sex in the bar with one of the younger Cygnets. After all it's going to happen to them sooner or later.

Old Gits, 10/03

The draw for the Veteran's Head on the 20th is up here. Numbers 63 (VetC) and 103 (MxVetA) for our brave members of a certain age, with Benrath (VetD) going off at a very chasable 102.

Spotted, 10/03

Ex-Barnes Bridge Lady? At bow? In Leander 1? With their reputation? Also what about this bevvy?

Weekly News, 07/03

Dear all,

Congratulations to BBLRC for their results in Saturday's WEHoRR, the result of a lot of training over the winter. I was particularly impressed by their commitment to the mid-week 6am outing, something that will only happen at Cygnet over my dead body.

I would also like to thank all the Cygnets who worked so hard on Saturday to make everything on land and water run so smoothly. We were represented in almost every facet of the race's organisation, from umpire to tea boy (it's arguable which is most important), and everybody did a fantastic job.

On Sunday the 1st eight went for a paddle along with a four and some scullers. Thanks to Pete and Chris for jumping in from the 2nd boat to enable us to get out and train. It really is all about getting the effing rate up.

We were also pleased to host the RAF on Sunday morning and look forward to them coming down again next weekend for more training. They really do have lovely blades.

THIS WEEK...

SATURDAY...

We are taking both eights to the 5.2k (3k) Kingston Head next Saturday for our final trial before the HoRR. It's a 2pm kick-off which means a nice lie-in for those involved. The simplest thing logistically is for me to cancel normal 9am outings next Saturday, however if a group of guys want to organise a crew or two amongst themselves then please let me know before the w/e and I will endeavour to sort outings. Meeting times for those racing next Saturday will be arranged later in the week. Sunday's outings will be 9:30 as normal.

A big thank you to those guys who helped split both eights on Sunday - it'll save us a lot of time next weekend.

BOATHOUSE EXECUTIVE AGM...

A final reminder that this AGM is next Monday 14th at 8pm in the boathouse bar. Please come along if you can and support the vital work done by this selfless and dedicated group of individuals (yes, I am on the commitee).

Think that's the lot. Hopefully see lots of you on Tuesday for the ergos.

w/Rgds, Mike.

WEHoRR, 06/03

Well done from all at the blog to BBLRC for their results in yesterdays womens head and also for making more sandwiches, cakes and money than ever before from the day.

The girls boats came in at 88th, 157th and 226th respectively. From post-race, post-spritzer comments in the bar we gather that everyone was very happy with the results.

As always the boys did us proud on the day with Cygnets represented in launches, on the hard, as bicycle couriers, on the timing teams and behind the bar. I suspect they couldn't have done it without us!

Here are some early pictures. One. Two. Three. Four.

Urin-iation, 06/03

Imagine you are a Barnes Bridge Lady in need of a pee. How many of the objects below are acceptible as recepticles?

Answers on a postcard to C. Sonneman, c/o A Pot To Piss In Competition, The Civil Service Boathouse, Dukes Meadows, Chiswick.

Ass, 03/03

The WEHoRR boating instructions went out earlier this week. They included the following...

...boating is not an exact science, so please work with us. Your Boating Director on the day is Mike Collier. For recognition purposes, he is in the boat on the right somewhere...

Not only does this mean poor Mike will have to withstand a torrent of stupid Eeyore noises on Saturday morning but he's already receiving "humourous" emails - and her name really doesn't help...

From: Victoria Wood
Sent: 02 March 2005 09:09
To: The Boathouse Captain
Subject: RE: Boating schedule - Women's Head.

Thanks as always for the fabulous organization.  So good to have a
donkey in control.  They are my favourite beasts.

Mike is of course two places to the left of the donkey [muscular shoulder just in shot - ed.]. The donkey is actually Dave Wright!

Shall Not Weary Them, 03/03

You know you're past it when perusing the Tuesday ergo scores you suddenly realise that you're the oldest, fattest, slowest man in the first eight...

...and in a way it makes you proud!

Indoor, 01/03

A new newsletter. Bleep test anyone?

Last Year's Model, 01/03

We hear that Sunday's BBLRC AGM brought about a surprise change of webmistress at BBLRC.com?

From the blog's sumptuous penthouse offices it appears that our websites should serve two purposes. Firstly they must attract new members, the life-blood of any club. Secondly they must entertain and inform the membership, spread rumour, gossip and ultimately allow their masters to say things they wouldn't normally get away with face-to-face.

With those things in mind it must be true to say that the current rude state of health at BBLRC is partly due to the work done by the old webmistress, and we would be lying if we said that we never took a look at BBLRC.com with an eye for pilfering and plagiarism.

We at the blog would like to raise our hats to the old. "Chapeau" as they would say on le Tour.

As for the new, BRING IT ON...

Now Hands That Do Dishes, 01/03

Through the grapevine...

There was a young Cygnet yesterday who's poor, rough hands were obviously getting the better of him so he decided to grab the nearest tube and apply liberally only to have his missus exclaim - "THAT'S 18 QUID A TUBE YOU F***ER. STOP IT!"

...you truly get what you pay for.

Water Sports, 01/03

With the obvious caveat that their English is far superior to our German (Goldaman excepted) this made the boathouse captain, and then us at the blog, smile..

Dear Mr. Gledhill,
I am the Hamburg team capitain and we still looking for a place to
water our boat.  If is possible to do so at Your club please let me know.

Weekly News, 01/03

Dear all,

"19.5 seats filled, 148.2 cup cakes eaten and 34.7 pints of tea drunk this weekend."

A spectacular start to Saturday morning saw Neil Pickford winning a brand new Filippi single scull courtesy of Tideway Scullers prize draw. We then boated for the Informal Paddle with Sons, Peterborough, Putney Town, BBLRC and Parrs Priory. Cygnet A posted the fastest time over the course (Pink House to our flagpole) and Cygnet B was the fastest of the B crews and beat Peterborough A. BBLRC A won the women's event. My thanks (once again) to Anthony Cake, Captain of PTRC for all his hard work in making the paddle so successful. With the Hammersmith Head cancelled it was the only chance for all the crews involved to do a head-length piece on the Tideway prior to the main heads. Full results on our website.

Sunday saw lots of coxless boats going afloat at various times, some naughty boys getting in trouble for being noisy in the kitchen and BBLRC naming their new eight "Gledders" after their most unattractive member. Both clubs then went for lunch, watched the rugby, engaged in light petting, etc, etc.

We were also pleased to host Peterborough Town RC over the weekend. They were down to train on the Tideway prior to the HoRR and had a constructive and enjoyable time by all accounts.

THIS WEEK...

WEHoRR...

Next Saturday is the Women's Head. Although outings have been cancelled I would really appreciate it if all the guys who would have rowed at 9am would still come down and give a couple of hours of their time to help in and around the boathouse. The girls do the same for us on our head day and apart from feeling great for volunteering you will get to look at women of all shapes and sizes in tight rowing gear. There truly is something for everyone.

Poppy is planning an event in the bar after their Head. Drinks and lunch in the afternoon and something in the evening. Details to follow soon.

LOU RUNS...

Dear All,
Perhaps against my better judgement, I have been persuaded to run the London Marathon in 8 weeks' time, along with my dad. We decided back in December to raise money for Muscular Dystrophy. At the time, I knew very little about it but, for various reasons, it has since become a cause which is really very important to me. I know it's a grey morning and I know you're all really busy, but if you could just take 5 minutes to sponsor me, I would be really very grateful. We have to raise £5000, so every little bit, however small, really will be very much appreciated, even if it's the price of a drink after outings on a Saturday.
With lots and lots of thanks in advance, Lou.

Hopefully see lots of you on Tuesday.

w/Rgds, Mike.

I Should Be So Lucky Lucky Lucky Lucky, 27/02

Saturday started with our very own Neil Pickford winning the Tideway Scullers prize draw. First prize a brand new Filippi single scull built to his own specification. Apparently he spent the princely sum of £10 on tickets in a pub when tipsy. If you can't buy one "Neil's Way" then you're looking at somewhere around £4,000. Nick Rowett came down to make the presentation. The Blog would like to congratulate Neil - it couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke (well maybe just one).

Lady Boys, 27/02

Sunday saw a naming ceremony for the new BBLRC eight. The boat was named "Gledders" in honour of their only male member. At the preceding AGM a constitution change was adopted allowing "flat-chested women with penises" to become very junior coxing members. The thin end of the wedge?

Informal Paddle Results, 26/02

The Informal Paddle (times below) proved a very worthwhile, erm, erm, erm, paddle for all concerned. Cygnet and BBLRC's A crews got the fastest times over the course and all home crews were pleased with their results. Our thanks to Anthony at Putney Town and his team, and to our own Stuart and Simon for timing at the finish.

Men                          Women
Cygnet A        19:02        BBLRC A       22:33
Sons A          19:15        Parrs Priory  23:26
Sons B          21:04        BBLRC B       23:34
Cygnet B        21:18        Putney Town   23:56
Peterborough A  21:34        BBLRC C       25:39
Peterborough B  21:47
Putney Town B   21:54
Sons C          22:28

HoRR Starting Order, 25/02

The draw is up here. 173 and 284 for our boys, 371 for Benrath.

Shaminars, 25/02

Great to hear on the Tideway Slug that another rowing seminar series is being planned for Autumn 2005. They are asking for suggestions. Here are a few I've come up with. Feel free to send me more...

In A Galaxy Far Far Away, 25/02

God alone knows what's happened to these [aha, but they are now fixed! - ed.]. Anyway we played football a month ago and this is the best I could come up with. Teams were mixed (in many ways) and the final result was two - two. I wish I could say that football had been the winner, but with rowing being the last resort of talentless rugby players the score reflected inaccurate shooting rather than solid defending

[Half-time oranges, post-match sandwiches, cake and beer took the edge off the fact that we were two - nil up before I decided to put on my goalkeeping gloves - ed.]

Colours (yes they did have one more than us):
Emma, Sarah (to me, to me), Annabelle, Poppy (quick, cuddle him), Bea (all the gear...), Nick (pass to him he's useless)
David, Tammy (penalty spot polisher), Andy (worse than he thinks), Neil

Whites:
Ben (Ben greedy greedy Ben he gets the ball he does f*** all greedy greedy Ben), Stuart, Mike, Chris, Mike
Marj, Claire (kept picking it up and punching it), Caroline (rugby's better), Lucy (very enthusiastic, ran a lot, fell over, etc.)

Notty Head, 23/02

Results for the Head of the Trent are up. Nice to see a Cygnet stroking the Peterborough novice eight in division 2!

Playing, 22/02

Why not stay for a bit after Sunday's outings, sip a beer and watch some boat race action. The Slug has full details, but to summarise...

Weekly News, 21/02

Dear all,

The HoRR first eight went out both days at the weekend and the gradual rate increases saw me going at 32 spm for the first time in a couple of years. All very alarming! Quads, fours and singles also went afloat and Alan Cannavo had the pleasure of subbing into a lovely ladies eight on Sunday, making the rest of us very jealous.

Sunday's AGM saw a reasonable turnout from active and older members. My congratulations to Derek Bush on his unanimous election to VP and also to David French (our new social secretary) and Stuart Gibbons (new committee member).

THIS WEEK...

NEXT SATURDAY - INFORMAL HEAD...

The inter-club head will start at 11am next Saturday. The 1st VIII are meeting at 9 as usual for a quick paddle and chat before heading to the Pink House. Chris Davidson will organise the 2nd VIII's logistics. Other clubs racing include BBLRC, Putney Town, Sons, Peterborough, Milton Keynes and Guildford.

Those of you not taking part in this event should still come down to row and I'll get you out in boats as usual.

VETS HEAD...

Crews for the 20th March are confirmed as (in no particular order)...

Cygnet: Marj (cox), Neil Pickford, Pete Leffler, Andy Hayter, Nick Emmett, Nick Wylie, Noel Davison, Paul Rawkins, Andy Rawkins.

Cygnet/BBLRC Composite: Anna Laird (cox), Steve Keating, Mike Collier, David French, Iain Golder, Tammy Davis, Ruth Kremer, Helen Keating, T Lowles.

See you tomorrow.

w/Rgds, Mike.

Not Quite As Smart As You Think You Are, 18/02

They probably needed taking down a peg or two anyway...

...a Barnes Bridge Ladies/Cygnet composite crew ("The Nickalators")
entered AK's Trivial Head of the River last night, and came...errr...last.
We got question on Cygnet & Barnes Bridge right - but not many more.  We were
hoping for better, since the same crew came 2nd in the Boathouse Quiz (and
would have won if Tammy knew what baby sharks are called...etc, etc), but it
seems that once you step outside of our boathouse, the average IQ seems to
rise...

...but perhaps not in the presence of every other club on the Tideway? According to young Mr. Wyatt "we probably drank more than anybody else". Makes you proud.

Nobody Ever Leaves, 18/02

It's always nice to get notes from old (well current but moved away) members and to hear their news. The coaching comment probably says more about Mr. Rowett than the captain, but still...

Alrite Mike,

How's it going? I see from the Cygnet website that Cupid has struck again 
at the club, what are you putting in the water? 

Just dropped a line to fill you in on what's been happening with me (assuming 
you're interested of course) and to tell you that you don't get rid of me
that easily, as soon as I get paid I'll renew me subs, so will be available
for racing and stuff in the summer. I'm also helping with timing the
womens head, and will be down for the training weekend on the 28th, so will
probably see you then. 

My job as a Supernerd is going well, and I finally moved into my house
which comes complete with  two spare bedrooms for weary rowers who don't fancy 
camping come Peterborough Spring (or I could have a word with the officers 
mess manager about booking rooms on base, if cheap beer and good food are 
any temptation...).  But more importantly I have joined Peterborough City BC.
The Super Secret Cygnet plan for world domination now involves destroying 
PBBC! (cue evil laughter).  I am apparently stroking an eight in the Trent
Head at the weekend, which was news to me... 

On that note I shall be off, but not without passing on something that might 
go well for the quotes page on the website, apparently the coach at
Peterborough rates the Cygnet output, because when talking to him I was
told "you were coached very well in London".  Just don't let it go to your
head!

See you around... 

Matt "Eyes Are Weapons" Barrows.

Vom It, 18/02

It's a bit of an old chestnut now but it makes our 1 x 7k and 3 x 3k tests seem a breeze. Anyone up for 50k next Tuesday, no stopping?

Weekly News, 14/02

Dear all,

Good to see both of our HoRR crews going afloat for video analysis and some side-by-side work on Saturday (along with a novice quad), and Valentine's Party hangovers (and sore, erm, lips) notwithstanding the first VIII, novice quad and some scullers went afloat on Sunday.

THIS WEEK...

WEHoRR VOLUNTEERS...

Volunteers are still requred for the Women's HoRR on the 5th March. Specifically I need a launch driver and hands for the timing team but there are also lots of other jobs in and around the boathouse on the morning itself. Barnes Bridge always pull out the stops for our head, the least we can do is return the favour. Please let me know if you can help.

CYGNET AGM...

This important meeting is on Sunday 20th at 1pm. Amongst other things you'll get to hear the Captain's Report (you'll barely recognise the club you're all members of, so positive will be the spin) and to vote the new committee for 2005. Please come along if you can (or be stitched up if you can't).

BOATHOUSE EXECUTIVE AGM...

The date for this is set to Monday 14th March at 8pm. Please make every effort to attend. The Exec is an important committee which runs the shared facilities in the boathouse and is made up of members from both clubs.

POLICE 5...

Apparently a phone, 40GBP and A HANDBAG! went missing after Saturday's fancy dress party. Any information gratefully received. Keep 'em peeled.

w/Rgds, Mike.

Love Was In The Air, 13/02

Yesterday's boathouse Valentine's Party proved to be one of the most interesting yet. The fancy dress theme was "Uniforms" and costumes ranged from vicars and nuns through nurses and back to warrior monks (who might have been knights). The partying went on until 3am, although I'm sure that the drinking stopped at 11:20 as per the licensing laws.

Encouragingly (for the blog at least) a new generation of Cygnets and Barnes Bridge Ladies seems to have "found" each other, with some investigative snogging taking place in the bar after hours. Unfortunately we don't think any pictures will ever see the light of day.

It was ever so...

Exec AGM, 12/02

Monday 14th March @ 8:00pm. Put the date in your diaries.

Lego...whoops...Logo, 11/02

An astute observer of all things political mailed me today regarding the extensive use of the SWAN in the logo for the UK EU's Presidency...

...we were looking for an idea that avoided visual clichés of Europe. It struck me that a formation of swans would work - after all they take it in turns to fly at the front and save energy by flying together. This seemed to be a very apt analogy. Most significantly, we can use the swans in very engaging and powerful ways...

...which is all well and good but perhaps waddling CYGNETS might have been appropriate? Cygnet's fight like banshees to get to the back when it's time to buy a round; they waste energy by taking as many catches as there are oars in a boat and (image-wise) are surely the least noble of the adolescent water foul.

Tight, wasteful, disaffected - the EU to a tee!

Incredibly Interesting, 11/02

No, really.

The Nearly-Nearly Men, 11/02

An email this week from a slightly frustrated Vet F Cygnet oarsmen. Read it and weep...

From: Neil Jackson
Sent: 09 February 2005 16:02
To: Mike Collier
Subject: RE: Cygnet Weekly News

Dear Mike,

Results from the Head of the Nene at P'boro on Saturday:

Open Vet handicap 2x - 2nd by one second Cygnet (Jackson/Otters)
Open Vet handicap 4+ - 2nd by one second Cygnet/AK (Wills/Jackson/Otters/Houston)

Yours crying into my beer,

The nearly nearly man!

Mon(k)ey Magic, 08/02

We in the Cygnet glitteratti are always looking for new talent for the committee so imagine our pleasure when young Andrew Augustus Naylor was spotted last year as an ideal candidate for that tricky position of assistant treasurer [assistant to the treasurer - ed.], what with him studying accountancy n'all.

Andy approached Dr. du P's micro management of all things financial in a refreshingly novel way - by not actually doing anything useful whilst simultaneously "losing" the captain's locker deposit.

The icing on the cake, however, occured last week when he was observed filling in his 2005 subs cheque with a somewhat bemused expression on his face. Apparently he saw nothing ironic about an assistant treasurer of one years standing not actually knowing who to make the cheque payable to.

Anybody who requires financial advice can find Andy in the bar on most Tuesday evenings, writing unintelligibly onto £20 notes before stuffing them into small brown envelopes.

Weekly News, 08/02

Dear all,

Oh dear, loads and loads...

Saturday saw an eight being coached by Nick Rowett and a quad and double being coached by me along with a few members going afloat in singles. Sunday marked the start of the run up to the HoRR with the 1st VIII going afloat for a steady-state paddle to Putney and back along with a quad and a pair.

HoRR OUTINGS...

With the HoRR approaching the two eights outings will be coordinated by myself (1st boat) and Chris Davidson (2nd boat). For various reasons the eights may go out at "unusual" times at the weekends but if in doubt please always turn up at 9/9:30 as usual. It also goes without saying that I want those not directly involved with HoRR crews to continue getting as much water-time as possible so please continue to show for squad outings as usual.

THIS WEEK...

PANCAKES ON TUESDAY (from Tammy & Poppy)...

Rude not to indulge...so you can expect to see lots of tossing in the BBLRC kitchen tomorrow night. Tam and Pops shall be flipping pancakes for as long as you can all eat them! A treat for the boys after ergs and a treat for the girls after weights. No need to reply - we'll estimate on numbers. A token donation towards the cost would be welcome.

WOMENS HEAD VOLUNTEERS...

Ali Elliott is looking for volunteers to help on her timing team for the Women's Head this year. It's on Saturday 5th March at 10:30 so there will be no early outings that day. If you can help please contact me or ali dot elliott at btinternet dot com. Many thanks.

BOATHOUSE LEASE...

For those of you keeping up with current events Dave Gledhill (boathouse captain) announced yesterday that a new 50-year lease has now been signed by the CSSC for the boathouse. That means we are here until at least my 85th year. I wonder who'll be captain then?

VALENTINES UNIFORM...

A reminder that Saturday night sees the BBLRC inspired Uniform Fancy Dress party at the boathouse. Brush off your old leather woggle and find yourself a Valentine from 7pm in the bar.

ROWING WORLD CUP AT DORNEY (from Pete Leffler)...

Could you mention in your weekly round robin that ticket information for the World Cup (26-28th May) is now up on the website at http://www.wrc2006.com/wc-sp-tickets.html. If people can get off work to see the National Rowing Treasures on the Thursday or Friday, they can get into the enclosure free, while the Grandstand is only £5.00 - absolute bargains! It's not that expensive for the finals day itself. It'd make a good Club day out?

WEEK-LONG APRIL SCULLING CAMP...

To confirm that the April sculling camp will indeed be running the full week from Sunday 10th to Sunday 17th April. Again, Theresa and I will be at the bungalow all week perfecting our (ahem) technique in various Empachers and Stampflis. As always visitors are welcome so check your diaries and let us know what days you'll be there and we'll make arrangements.

ARA INSTRUCTORS AWARD AT OUR BOATHOUSE...

Once again there will be an ARA IA at our boathouse. It'll be help on 25/26/28 March and 2nd April. Contact Simon Blackburn if you're interested simon dot blackburn at ara-rowing.org. An application form can be found at http://www.ara-rowing.org/docs/0309BCAS_Application_Form.doc.

Phew!

Mike.

HoRR Crews, 08/02

Dear all,

Many thanks for the availability emails. Crews are now confirmed for the 26th Feb (Informal), 12th Mar (Kingston) and 19th (HoRR) as...

Cygnet I: Marj Israel (cox), Ben Green, Simon French, Steve Keating, Nick Wyatt, David French, Mike Collier, Neil Pickford, Andy Naylor.

Cygnet II: Esme Wingrove (cox), Chris Davidson, Nick Emmett, Marc Baldwin, Pete Leffler, Simon Dawes, Chris Dunhill, Iain Golder, Andy Hayter.

The crew(s) for the Vets Head on the 20th are yet to be decided but we have enough available for a Cygnet eight plus a mixed Cygnet/BBLRC eight. We'll finalise these crews once Tammy has her BBLRC availability.

Those people who said they were available but are not selected for crews shouldn't feel despondent and should continue to come down for training as usual both in the week and at weekends. The regatta season starts shortly after these head races and everybody will be involved then so fitness and time on the water is still vital and whilst the priority for the next few weeks is the HoRR I will be doing my utmost to keep everybody training on the water as much as I can.

IMPORTANT...

Those that are named above (infact everyone intending to race this year) must ensure four things are done very soon...

w/Rgds, Mike.

Fours Head Drinkies (hic), 05/02

Slightly alarming the number of Cygnet members involved with the Fours Head. Less alarming when you realise it's sponsored by Fullers, Smith and Turner. Put on your beer goggles and take a look.

Weekly News, 31/01

Dear all,

Thanks to Marj for sorting things so capably last week. It was good to hear that fours, quads and eights went afloat both days at the weekend and that mid-week training was so well attended. The skiing trip went well - lots of snow and no injuries - and I hope that all are looking forward to the upcoming heads as much as I am. With that in mind...

AVAILABILITY...

I am now taking availability for the following races. Please let me know by the end of the week those you can do. Crews will be selected early next week. Sadly the Hammersmith Head on 06/03 has been cancelled.

In order to race in any of these events you MUST have (a) paid your annual sub by cheque payable to Cygnet Rowing Club for £140 (Civil Servants) or £198 (non-Civil Servants) and (b) got an up to date ARA membership listing Cygnet as one of your member clubs. You will also need a club all-in-one (see Neil Pickford).

SAFETY...

Once again the gas hob has been found left on and unlit. If you use it then switch it off and please don't lean against the cooker whilst waiting for the kettle to boil (we are beginning to suspect this might be the cause).

VALENTINE'S PARTY...

BBLRC are organising a Valentine's day party on the evening of Saturday 12th. I have pasted a message from Poppy (BBLRC social) at the very end of this email (after my signature).

THIS WEEK...

(a reminder that this weeks ergo scores will be used for selection for the eights)

Think that's it. See you Tuesday.

w/Rgds, Mike.

-------- FROM POPPY --------

Hello all,

It's time for a party to celebrate the coming of the Eights Head and Valentine's day - all rolled into one red hot night of fun at the Boathouse. Full details to follow - but here's the brief...

Date: Saturday 12 February 2005

Time: from 7:30 pm

Theme: fancy dress - UNIFORM (any kind you like - see below)

The evening will include specially created cocktails, snacks, good music and great company.

Fabulous prizes awarded for best outfits.

Please put this date in your diaries and bring along as many friends and family etc as possible. Email me asap to show you're interested and we can start catering for numbers (we'll be asking for a small contribution towards food).

Some costume inspiration:

Fireman; School; Police; Soldier; Surgeon; Scout; Brownie; Shop Attendant; Bus Driver; Postman; Pilot; Nurse; Lollipop Lady; Jockey.

Poppy.

Weekly News, 24/01

Dear all,

While our Captain is trying to get fit on the slopes of the French Alps, winter seems to have arrived in the UK too, as witnessed by the fact that it was VERY COLD on the water this weekend.

SUBSCRIPTIONS

If you have not already done so, I would urge you all to send/deliver your subscription cheque to the club. If you want to be considered for an Eights Head, or Veterans Head crew, you must have paid your subs, or have come to an agreement with our Treasurer. No subs paid, no entry.

LAST WEEKEND

On Saturday, we had 16 rowers out on the water, with the eight being coached by Nick Rowett, a "young veterans" four, and a quad that included our brave novices and Alan Cox, also a very brave man. A four and a double went out for a second outing. Following our outings, a number of Cygnets joined a number of BBLRC ladies at the bottom of Dukes Meadows for a spirited game of football. Lots of fun was had by all, with only a couple of small injuries as a result. The 2-2 draw was very well deserved - the conclusion is that we may as well stick to rowing, because David Beckhams we're not. Our captain excelled in giving instructions to the rest of his team to keep running, while standing between the goalposts himself. Obviously he was a bit out of breath after his first runs across the field.

Following Saturday's exertions, and the travel plans of others, a slightly reduced number of people went out, but we still filled two fours, and a pair.

CIRCUITS

Greg was off sick last week, which meant we did the Cygnet/BBLRC aerobic circuits instead. Hopefully, Greg will be better this week. Can I urge those of you who have not yet paid for your circuits (either £2 per session, or £15 for the lot) to give me the cheques or the money (cheque to M Collier) ASAP. I shall be at the club Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, so there are no excuses! We have tried to keep the costs low, but it does mean that we rely on everyone to pay promptly, otherwise we will have to raise the price substantially next time.

FOOD

Poppy and Bea will be cooking dinner on Wednesday after circuits. Please let Poppy know if you intend to stay for dinner: poppy.ahern@cancer.org.uk (i.e. don't think that there will be plenty of food anyway, one of these days there won't be!)

THIS WEEK

Marj

Singing The Not Skiing Blues, 21/01

If you're not skiing with the gang next week you might like to follow our exploits here. I particularly like the 25cm of new snow and piste state: EXCELLENT comments. Enjoy your ergos!

Singing The Ergo Blues, 21/01

Want to improve your physiology and technique? Got a spare week? Try this.

Weekly News, 19/01

Dear all,

Coached outings for the eight both days at the weekend with me on Saturday and Ben on Sunday. Some impromptu Cygnet v. BBLRC pieces on Saturday were enjoyed by all and everybody had decent rows even though the BBLRC outing planning software experiencing a major outage. A disaster recovery and capacity planning exercise will follow.

Congratulations to Andy Rawkins who hit the big (Hawaii) Five-Oh at the weekend. Lots of old and new faces attended his party upstairs at the White Hart and a few rowers looked a bit green round the gills on Sunday because of it. I cannot condone drinking for athletes in training.

THIS WEEK...

MIXED (ABILITY) FOOTBALL...

Just a reminder from French David...

Saturday 22nd at 1pm - don't forget the mixed Cygnet/BBLRC football this Saturday, after outings. 1pm kick-off, £2 to play, with some refreshment afterwards. We're going to sort out teams during the week, so if you'd like to be involved could you please let me know (david.french2@homeoffice.gsi.gov.uk).

SKIING...

The annual Cygnet/BBLRC ski trip runs Sunday 23rd to Sunday 30th January so I'll be away (putting things to rights with the great and good from both clubs) during that period. Marj should be contacted in my absence if there are any issues (and when I'm around too, if I'm honest). Marj will arrange crews over the weekends and hopefully do a Weekly News. Lovely.

TRAINING...

I am really encouraged by the numbers training at the moment. Although slightly frustrating for you, it does my heart good to see Cygnets queuing to get on the ergo an Tuesday nights; and we had about 30 (from both clubs) at circuits last week.

Remember that ergo scores can be emailed to me if you can't make Tuesday's session - do them in the shed or at your gym at a time that is convenient for you.

w/Rgds, Mike.

World Rowing 2006, 14/01

Our very own Pete Leffler has been working hard as a volunteer with the ARA to help build the 2006 World Rowing Championships at Dorney Lake website. I'm told it goes live today (although at the time of writing it is still displaying a stub page).

Keep your eyes on www.wrc2006.com.

Babes III, 14/01

The men really are potent in Cygnet at the moment. Below are a couple of pictures of Sarah Esme, Ruth and Goldaman's new arrival.

Babes II, 10/01

More babies. This is Dave and Ruth's Ella having a splash in Singapore, Am I starting to get old?

There are seven differences between these two pictures, can you spot them?

Babes, 10/01

Some early shots of Nathan and Sara's new twin daughters, Awatea (below left) and Te Kohu. They arrived some 10 weeks early and these photos show them at about 2 weeks old. Mother, father and daughters are all well.

Weekly News, 10/01

Dear all,

Sadly we binned outings on Saturday as strong winds blowing against the tide made conditions too risky on the Tideway. However the boys got huge pleasure from a 2-bridge run and a 30 minute ergo instead.

Sunday was much more benign and saw a coached 8+ go afloat with a couple of fours and a double at 9:30.

THE MEN'S HEAD AND VETS HEAD...

It has been suggested to me that I make everyone aware of training expectations and selection criteria for both these heads now so that we are all on the same page come March. We have the potential for fast eights in both events and in order for that to happen we'll need to get fitness levels up over the next few weeks and train in crews for a period before the races.

Selection will be based on a combination of rowing ability and fitness. All other things being equal I will take the eight oarsmen with the best weekly ergo times for the first eight, so if you don't do the ergos...

Crews will be announced in mid-February (with the 7k and 3x3k tests done in early February used as benchmarks) and from that point on I would like to train in settled racing crews. During this period the eights will race the Hammersmith Head (6th March), possibly the Kingston Head (12th March) and finally the HoRR and Vets Head (19th/20th March).

So, if your aspirations are to row these heads please block off the weekends from 19th/20th February to 19th/20th March inclusive. I'll take availability at the beginning of February.

CYGNET/BBLRC MIXED FOOTBALL - SATURDAY 22nd JAN (FROM FRENCH DAVID)...

Tammy will already have mentioned this to many of you, but on Saturday 22nd at 1pm there'll be a football match out on the fields by the club. The plan is for a slightly more organised version of a kick-around in the park, jumpers for goalposts etc. (if we're lucky we may even have goalposts for goalposts). 1pm, a couple of quid to take part, mixed teams, football clichés, tea, cake & beer afterwards. Marvellous, isn't it?

We'll try and sort the teams out before the day, so could you please give me a shout (david.french2@homeoffice.gsi.gov.uk) if you're up for it - the more the merrier.

THIS WEEK...

Tuesday's ergo is 3 x 3000 metres with 10 - 12 minutes rest between each.

Wednesday's circuits is the first with our new trainer, Greg. Please be ready to leave the boathouse promptly at 7pm. Tammy and Annabelle are cooking. Please let Tammy know if you want food at TDavis@imgworld.com.

Thursday is weights/ergos in the shed.

Saturday/Sunday on-the-water at 9am/9:30am as usual.

w/Rgds, Mike.

Pink and Green I Mean Really, 04/01

Some shots of our very own Dr. Jackson "working" at AK can be found here.

Capsize Drill, 04/01

What, but what, can I add?

From: French David 
Sent: 04 January 2005 11:03
To: Mike Collier
Subject: 1st of the year

Mike,

In the end Neil Marj and I went out in singles yesterday morning, and it
was glorious, sunny, flat water (at one point Pickford was heard to
declare "sometimes you can see what the scullers are on about, can't
you?").

However, I was very aware that the 2005 blog was looking a bit naked in
terms of bitter mockery.  So I fell in.  "Oarsman" & boat safe and well.

See you for fun-ergs tonight.

David

Weekly News, 04/01

Dear all,

Just a quick note to wish you all a happy new year. I hope everyone is looking forward to the next phase of the season, leading up to the Eights Head on the 19th and Vets Head on the 20th March.

Final crews for these races will not be set in stone for some time so if your aspiration is to get into a good eight then (as a minimum) you should be doing as many Saturday/Sunday/Tuesday sessions as possible and as many other sessions as you can manage.

THIS WEEK...

ERGOS...

For the period to 19th March the ergo tests will be...

CIRCUITS...

We are trying out a change of evening and emphasis for circuits for the next 10-week session. Circuits will now be on WEDNESDAY nights at 7pm (meet at the boathouse, jog to the school). The session will be lead by Greg who is an experienced trainer and the emphasis will be on exercises specifically designed to improve rowing muscles and core stability. Thursday night circuits will initially be replaced with a session in the shed for those that want to do the weeks ergo or a weight circuit there.

Hopefully will see lots of you tonight. With the amount of Yule Log I've eaten over the last couple of weeks I'm not expecting a very good time for my 7k. Are you? ...

w/Rgds, Mike.