| Cygnet Rowing Club |
| 2002 End-of-Season Festivities, 20/09/02 |
Billed as the gastronomic event of 2002, the Cygnet RC end-of-season formal dinner was resurrected on September 20 with feasting, quaffing, speechifying and a Lovely Legs competition. All that is historic, righteous and proud about Cygnet was thus combined with all that is modern, infantile and greedy, to provide something for all its differing members. From the braying noises that emanated from the old boys' tables to comparatively restrained demeanour of new members, it seems that the expected roles of both were upended, but did we care? Not a bit.
Traditionally an annual event, the dinner got lost somewhere around 1998, but was found again at a private club in Mayfair called The Lansdowne. Tony Chapman, a member of both Cygnet and the Lansdowne, suggested the venue.
In previous years, the dinner has effectively been limited to male rowers, but in the new Golden Age of Steve & Helen (*) it seemed appropriate to throw open the doors. A total of 50 people attended: 16 oldies and guests, and 34 active members and guests.
Events kicked off at 6pm at the nearby Babble Bar. Younger Cygnets subsequently arrived at the Lansdowne flushed of face and full of exciting stories about their adventures in Berkeley Square. If you looked closely, they said, you could see Vice-President Chris "Technically Perfect" Davidson demonstrating how to ease oneself into the scrimmage of toffs, poshos, media types, Raffles and West End girls with the aid of a spatula.
Elder members proceeded directly to the Lansdowne for a more sedate aperitif experience.
Should the organising committee look so relaxed...
A motley crew...
At 8pm, Chairman Nick Wylie welcomed the diners. Two tables were given over to the oldies: Nick, Richard du Parcq, Alan Cox, Paul Rawkins, Philip Beckett, the Social Secretary's dad, and so on. Three tables seated married/partnered active members of the club, and at the final table, three beautiful girls looked very smug among a clutch of boys.
Antipodean #1 with beautiful partner - grumble...
At 8.02pm, Richard du P read Grace. Duck, soup, beef and pudding followed in glorious gastronomic succession, to the pleasing sound of hard, dedicated chewing and not much conversation, except between courses. Since I barely remember anything about waiters or waitresses, the service must have been wonderfully discrete. Food appeared, plates were removed, fresh cutlery was provided for those childish persons who had got their spoons and forks mixed up, with hardly a sound. In addition, there were programmes, there were name cards, there were candlabra. In short there was sumptuousness in abundance.
Antipodean #1 with beautiful partner (again) - grumble, grumble (the photographer's obsessed)...
Antipodean #2 with beautiful partner - grumble, grumble, grumble...
Antipodean #3 with beautiful partner (who's just spilled her gravy) - I don't know, they come over here and steal all the best women...
The youngest new member of the club, Simon Blackburn, then led The Loyal Toast, to the rustle of loosening cummerbunds and buttons surreptitiously being undone. This was the signal for the gentlemen to remove their jackets, if they so wished. We all knew this fine point of etiquette, natch (we knew it because Nick had walked round all the tables beforehand, barking at the gentlemen to put their bloody jackets back on). The Big Joke of the evening was that, as the only two lady Cygnets (**), Marjorie Israel (outgoing Captain) and Kate Thomas (Social Secretary) also had assumed DJs. Female or not, Kate was clearly no gentleman, since she was in shirtsleeves way too early. What an oik.
Nick gave a speech. It consisted mainly of a list of old boys present and of the insults which could fairly be applied to each. The old boys took it in good heart and it was nice to learn that the present batch of Cygnet rowers are demonstrably carrying forward the torch passed on by the previous generations.
Between them, Marj and incoming Captain Steve Keating gave a run-down of the past year and plans for the coming one. Steve outlined plans for building a training gym, complimented Marj on the introduction of regular erg tests, and described his new system for classifying rowers in one of three groups - casuals; members of the development squad (four training sessions a week); and fixed crew members (six training sessions a week, let's-get-a-gold obsessives).
TP Chris then gave An Amusing Speech. His other titles include Destroyer of Pampas, Believer, Training Enthusiast, General Enthusiast, That Ozzie, and, as we know now, Giver Of Slightly Rambling Speeches. There was something in there about the wonderful club that Cygnet is, how privileged he felt to be a part of it, not to mention having been elected Captain of Vice (his Mother is very proud). In an emotional moment, he presented a T-shirt to his particular rowing buddy, Neil Pickford, in recognition of Neil's ability to crawl up the slide. Large block letters on the back spelt out: "Don't rush the slide." Chris then waffled on, my memory gives out here about what, until the diners began a slow handclap.
Did he make a speech? Surely not...
Coffee was poured, mints devoured, Chris and Marj officiated over an awards ceremony. This was a serious ceremony. Unless otherwise indicated, the awards consisted of valuable beribboned rigger-jiggers. The awards presented were:
Marj and Kate presided over a Lovely Legs competition. The ladies present had earlier been given a voting paper and asked to indicate the best legs out of the six pairs pictured. The voting paper is extremely funny and can be seen here (***). Neil won and, after his leg had been tested for bounce and firmness by Marj and Kate, was presented with a rigger jigger and a pair of sock suspenders (his Mother is very proud).
Avoiding the obvious gag is SO hard...
The bar closed near midnight. Pumpkins were wheeled out and it became depressingly clear that Golda's advertised plan for spearheading a move to a nightclub consisted of wandering aimlessly around and asking everyone if they knew of a nice club to go to, not too far away, not too expensive, that everyone would like? A Hard Corps set off for the bright lights of Mash, Great Portland Street, where further drinks were committed and jokes perpetrated. Everyone has responded to e-mails since then, so we assume there were no serious casualties.
It is planned to repeat the evening next year. But with dancing.
Thanks for general help and speeches go from the Social Secretary to (in order of appearance) Tony, Nick, Marj, Chris and Steve - cheers.
Tina and Kiron, a touch of class...
Steve and Helen, a touch too much...
(*) For Cygnets overseas - this year, Steve & Helen were voted respectively the Captains of Cygnet RC and BBLRC. The point is that they are "An Item". This bodes well for hopes that, as Steve and Helen merge ever closer in the fullness of their love, the clubs may be inspired to follow suit. As Steve put it, "I'm doing everything I can!"
(**) Apparently there is a third. But this shadowy figure rarely appears, and I've forgotten her name.
(***) See reproduction [hmmm - ed]. Mike this is in Quark - dunno if it will work? If not, let me know and I'll see if I can reproduce it in MSWord - [it doesn't work - ed].
FINAL THANKS to Kate Thomas for text which is so good I thought about trying to pass it off as my own. ;-)