| Cygnet Rowing Club |
| Boathouse Quotes and Wisdom |
If you read or overhear something that makes you smile then let us know at the usual address...
Other rowing quotes pages: SICREW, an RSR collection.
"Not shit is not good enough!" - Coach Sarah, Apr 2009.
(directed with some irony at 2 HoRR crews in training)
"The hunters become the hunted." - Davo, Sept 2007.
(referring to the unlikeliest e-mail ever received by a Cygnet captain: the ladies squad at Putney Town were wondering if some of your chaps might like to meet up for drinks one evening?... Please let me know if this sounds fun)
"Neil, can I hold onto your tool for another 5 minutes?" - French David, Oct 2006.
(whilst preparing the club "racing bike" prior to the rowers' revenge)
"I've got a government to support - the Belgian government." - Barney Frith, Aug 2005.
(reproached for smoking during the latter part of John Bull's wake)
"I'll never get between you and your rowing." - French David's Anna, May 2005.
(a promise made at the start of their relationship - we never see him anymore)
"You can call him S-Two-Pot now!" - French David, May 2006.
(Phunky Stu wins his second pot of the season - and it's a qualifying novice win too)
"You can practice at home........on your boyfriends!" - Donald (BBLRC coach), May 2006.
(explaining the feathering motion to BBLRC's newest senior oarswomen)
"Smell The Pewter!" - Gledders, May 2006.
(home-straight motivation for his Putney Town novice eight - they won their qualifying pots)
"Well they were men when I started shouting at them!" - Putney Town Umpire, May 2006.
(from the short-sighted umpire who was starting our novice 4 in their first heat against Vesta. He was just about to start them when it was pointed out to him that he was actually lining Cygnet up against a Vesta womens 4, their mens 4 had drifted out of position and were 50 yards further up the course)
"Hey Batesey - you can call me Stu-POT now!" - Phunky Gibbons, April 2006.
(upon winning his first ever pot at Chiswick Regatta)
"My next pot'll be the 2012 Olympics!" - Psycho Bates, April 2006.
(upon winning his first ever pot at Chiswick Regatta - shades of TPC we think)
"People get sucked in by a smooth style and it's about making the boat go fast." - Seb Pearce, April 2006.
(Oxford University winning cox & Psycho hero)
"Do you fancy coming with me for a ride in Richmond Park? Nah - I've got to wait for my pants to dry." - Phunky Gibbons in response to a question from Simon D, January 2006.
(muttered while sitting patiently in a small towel as he watched said pants, wrapped tightly round the hot water pipe, steam gently)
"We'll go out in a pair and lay down some slabs of raw power." - French David & Psycho Bates, November 2005.
(overheard after a couple of beers in the bar. It's important to remember here that we don't let Bates out in a single on his own because he might not come back and that the last two times the good Doctor raced in a pair he (1) went for a swim and (2) knocked some pretty girls in for a swim)
"To make any dish more yoghurty simply add yoghurt." - Mike C, October 2005.
(oh how we laughed)
"Go and buy me a pair of knickers!" - Mike C, September 2005.
(they sell them in all Dusseldorf airport's condom machines)
"People used to think I was mad when I walked around talking to myself - now they just think I'm wearing a handsfree device." - A.Cox, September 2005.
(whilst spectating at the Rhine Marathon, breaker-breaker)
"For the colour of the islands." - Balders' Tropical Tanning Lotion, August 2005.
(caution: may cause immediate skin cancer)
Q - "What's the difference between love balls and love eggs?"; A - "Where you put them." - The Nickelator, August 2005.
(Nick & friend come to grips with the more obscure end of public house vending machines)
"Can I come under your umbrella? I didn't really mean anything I said about you and the Mars Bar!" - Psycho Bates, St. Neots, July 2005.
(it really does help you work, rest and play)
"I can't believe you persuaded me to be Social Sec. I can't believe you persuaded me to join the committee. I can't believe you persuaded me to join Cygnet." - French David, July 2005.
(sometimes life serves up exactly what you deserve)
"You've got Cygnet in the heat? Watch out, they can be a bit tricky." - Anonymous opposition oarsman, St.Neots, July 2005.
(and with four wins so it proved)
"Cygnet. You started on the G of the GO." - Umpire, Ironbridge Regatta 2005.
(Gavin jumps the start or times it to perfection, you decide)
"Stu, are your hard bits REALLY big then?" - Simon D, Molesey, July 2005.
(obviously referring to his callouses, although we're not sure where they were)
"You lot getting through to the semis has really screwed up my spreadsheet!" - Dave Excel Gledhill, Molesey Regatta July 2005.
(is he buying into the BBLRC/Microsoft strategic partnership)
"Ute, ute, ute, ute, ute, Toffee Crisp, ute, ute, ute, Ali, ute, ute, ute, etc." - "Ute" Gledhill, all the f*****g time.
(if ONLY people would follow the process, it really is very simple)
"Sometime too much to drink is barely enough." - Mark Twain, 1835-1910.
"Cygnet. You are rowing into danger." - B&M Regatta Umpire, June 2005.
(during the S24- final as Davo played chicken with a large white gin palace)
"You don't look like this when you take your top off." - Ben, June 2005.
(testosterone fuelled braggadio finally overcomes half our Henley crew)
"Errrrm, could you please let go of my blade?" - French David, Peterborough June 2005.
(following an "altercation" between an unstable Cygnet pair and misdirected women's double on the Nene. Said by the nervous stroke of the pair, to a (now swimming) oarswoman as she clings on and slowly pulls the gallant Cygnets further and further from the vertical)
"I'll enter you Poppy, what do you want to do?" - Mike, June 2005.
(the captain offers to bend over backwards to satisfy a frustrated BB lady)
"I laughed until a little bit of wee came out." - Jonathan Ross, June 2005.
(his short, punchy review of the new League Of Gentlemen film - it made me laugh so hard...etc)
"It's great to see a club like Cygnet with two boats in the final." - Stan-the-Man, Twickenham Regatta 2005.
(a club "like" Cygnet - what the hell does that mean)
"That, dear boy, is a physical impossibility!" - RduP, 1998.
(after being called a f*****g w****r by someone he had washed down)
"You may have missed me dear boy, but you didn't miss the bank!" - RduP, 1998.
(after an altercation with a pair that promptly grounded)
"Cygnet RC - pain is your lover" - Greg's quote on a banner hanging from Barnes Bridge for the HoRR, March 2005.
(the boys decided to dump her)
"We're blue, we're white, we're Benrath dynamite" - RG Benrath's Vet VIII (originated by Arno Boes), March 2005.
(motivational or humourous, you decide)
"Should it swell up like that in the morning?" - Esme, March 2005.
(an obvious question if concerned that your fresh OJ may have gone off in its bottle)
"He can take his top off any time" - BBLRC taster day attendee, March 2005.
(Ben had been spotted lifting heavy weights in the shed)
"Do you see many dead bodies in the Thames?" - BBLRC taster day attendee, March 2005.
(slightly creepy, perhaps she's thinking of adding a few more)
"To be fair to me, it is _a_ way of rowing" - Ben Green, February 2005.
(after watching video analysis of himself stroking the first eight)
"Which is my pulling hand?" - Annabelle (BBLRC), February 2005.
(you have to bear in mind she's in the 7 seat of the first eight)
"Alan, I want to talk to you about your balls" - The Bar Steward, February 2005
(prior to the AGM, old ping pong balls take up a lot of space in the caboose after all)
"Did you have your full eight this morning?" - T.Salter (BBLRC), February 2005
(one for the Les Arcs ski crowd, perhaps - happily young Nick W. replied in the affirmative)
"How do we get to the start?" - Annabelle (BBLRC), February 2005
(when the copter is down and the Harley away the only solution is to row)
"You have to slay a few dragons before you get to the princess" - Ben Green, February 2005
(some changing room philosophy regarding the hunt for the right girl)
"Have you got a dry hole, as mine is damp?" - Annabelle (to Tammy), November 2004
(obviously referring to those little under seat compartments where she wanted to stow her fleece)
"Shit on me" - Nick Wyatt, Dusseldorf, October 2004
(as a huge tanker wake broke over the bows and onto his back during the Rhine Marathon)
"Never get tired - just pleasantly weary" - Richard Hadlee, 1985.
"If it's in you we'll squeeze it out" - Cygnet main.htm, September 2004.
"The policy of mixing the scullers until everyone could fit in with anyone was both interesting for the rowers and paid back in silver for the quad and bronze for the double" - Regatta Magazine, September 2004
(set crews, pah!)
"You lucky f****r" - Anonymous Peterborough Regatta oarsmen, August 2004
(directed towards Mike Collier as he drove slowly past said oarsman in a car containing himself and four of BBLRC's sexiest blondes)
"Sixpence on a Sunday and he called us sir" - Ronnie Lambe, July 2004
(the good old days when the club had a boatman with a much-doffed cap)
"Sustain the unsustainable" - Mike Collier, May 2004
(what any Cygnet should do as he approaches the enclosure)
"Gentlemen never reverse" - Ronnie Lambe, April 2004
(a ballroom dancing tip, apparently)
"That's the third time you've washed my crews down this morning you f*****g t****r" - Tim Foster, February 2004
(during a little Cygnet launch pootle in search of some lost eights)
"Nobody ever leaves" - Alan Cox, November 2003
(with reference to the elastic tendencies of Cygnet RC membership)
"In three months I'm going to be technically perfect you f*****g pommie losers" - Technically Perfect Chris Davidson, April 2002
(TPC won his novice sculling pot some two years later)